Page 52 of Worth the Risk

We decorated dozens of cookies. Eliza’s and Ann’s looked incredibly professional, like they belonged in a shop, meanwhile Ryan and Liam’s looked like they were done by first graders. Dean and I fell somewhere in the middle of knowing an adult made it but you probably wouldn’t sell it in your bakery. I love listening to the siblings bicker back and forth and watching Dean and Ann get caught up in each other as they dance around the kitchen. I feel grateful that Liam gets to experience this type of family and that they opened their arms to me this season.

After decorating we all migrated to the couches in the living room to watch Christmas movies. I sat next to Liam, after about thirty minutes he adjusted us so my head was on his chest and the rest of me curled up into him. Ann and Dean left after the first movie to head to bed. The second one just ends when Eliza gets up, folding her blanket and says goodnight to us all, Ryan follows her lead and heads in the other direction.

I should get up, I’m exhausted, but I can’t seem to find it in myself to move. Part way through the last movie I adjusted myself so I’m fully laying down, my head in Liam’s lap as he plays with my hair. I contemplate just letting my body drift off to sleep right here, when Liam leans down pressing a kiss to my temple. I turn my head slightly to smile at him and he leans down again, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

“It’s Christmas Eve.” He states.

“It is.”

“I have something for you.” I look up at him, confused. Then fully sit up so he can stand. “It’s your tradition, right? To do one gift on Christmas Eve?” He heads to the big tree and pulls out a small, wrapped box from behind some of the presents that have been left there.

“You remembered.” I can feel my eyes getting glassy but I blink the moisture away. Liam’s next to me again on the couch, brushing my hair out of my face.

“Of course. I remember everything about you.” The heat hits my cheeks instantly. He places the small wrapped gift in my hands.

Carefully, I peel the tape and the paper back. Underneath the wrapping is a velvet blue box, I open it and a small gasp escapes me. Inside is a dainty gold necklace with the letter “L” on it. My eyes shoot up to meet Liam’s, who are full of hope and something else I can’t quite decipher.

“I know this is kind of presumptuous,” Liam takes one of my hands in his. “Em. I like you so damn much. I’ve been trying to hide it, to shove it down so I don’t lose you as a friend but I can’t anymore. You make me feel everything. Last night I meant what I said, nothing about us has to do with a list or anything like that." The moisture in my eyes has returned and this time I can’t blink it away, a few tears spill over and start to run down my cheeks before Liam swipes them away with his thumb. “Fuck. I didn’t mean to make you cry. We can just be friends. If that’s what you want. I’ll take you in any capacity I can get.”

“No.” I choke out, trying to clear my throat so he really hears me. “I don’t want to be just friends. These are happy tears. I like you so damn much too.” His eyes begin to glimmer again, a smile spreading across his face.

“Does that mean you’ll be my girlfriend?”

“Yes.” With that Liam stands, scooping me up in his arms and I can’t help the giggle that escapes my lips. He carries me up to his room, stopping every ten feet to plant a kiss on my lips. We finally manage to get up the stairs and into his room, where he sits me down on the bed before climbing onto it right beside me.

“I have something for you too.” I push up to my feet and walk over to my bag. I pull the wrapped gift out of my bag, handing it over to him. Unlike me, who unwraps presents carefully, Liam rips it right open revealing a framed photo of us from that day at homecoming. I have the biggest smile on my face and Liam is looking at me and I see it now, like Rosie said, he looks at me with stars in his eyes.

“I love it.”

“You're sure? I know it’s just a picture but...”

“Baby stop. I’m serious. It means the world to me that you even thought about me.”

“Of course I thought about you. I’m always thinking about you.”

“Oh yeah? What do you think about when you think of me.” He lifts me up, carrying me over to the bed, kissing me the whole time.

Chapter 35

Liam

It’s our first practice of the spring semester and my focus is shot. I thought two weeks away from the sport would have me itching to be back on the field. That’s how it used to be. Instead I can’t get my brain off Emilia, my girlfriend. Saying that still feels surreal. I took the risk and I’m beyond grateful that it paid off.

Christmas break with Emi and my family flew by. We headed back to campus yesterday, since I had practice today and Emilia has work tonight. I have mixed emotions about being back at school since our schedules will get busier this semester, especially with it being our last semester of undergrad. However, it will also be nice to have time with her without my family hogging her. Eliza and my mom fell in love with Emilia. They bonded over books and rom coms. Emi asked them to help her learn to cook and bake more dishes which has both of them over the moon. My heart was so full watching Emilia with my family. She looked so at peace, like she always belonged right there with us.

When I told Emilia that I liked her, I think it was a lie. I’m pretty sure I loved her. If I didn’t then after the past two weeks together, I know for a fact that I do now. I try to shake my wandering thoughts and focus on the team in front of me. As captain it’s my job to lead, so that’s what I do. We start with some stretches, making sure our arms are nice and loose, followed by laps around the bases to keep up endurance. Between my years in the sport and my major in athletic training I truly feel like I’m a great pick for captain for the team, not to toot my own horn. The only issue has been my heart not being in it.

After our warmups, Coach takes over, having us run drills before setting up a small scrimmage for us to get in some actual play time against one another. I zone myself in, remembering why I’m doing this. Why I want, or need rather, to get drafted. Thankfully zoning in works, I hit a ball out of the park and get three outs while I’m on first. I’m good at this. Good at baseball.

As soon as I get back to the house I hop in the shower, letting the hot water soothe sore muscles and warm me back up. January in Massachusetts means bitter cold but since it isn’t snowing and there isn’t any on the ground that means practice was all outdoors. Which is way better for training and prepping for the season but my fingers are numb now from standing outside for hours.

After I get out of the shower and throw on some sweats and a t-shirt I make my way over to the desk in my room. Opening the bottom drawer, I pull out a black box, that’s the size of a piece of paper. I bring the box over to my bed with me and start to look through the contents. Pictures of my dad fill the box. One of me standing in front of the gate and him in his baseball uniform standing behind me, we both have the biggest smiles on our faces. Another, a picture of my mom and me wearing his jersey while he gazes at my mom like she’s the whole world. Under the pictures sits my first glove, with a note tucked inside that my dad had attached to it when he gave it to me for my fourth birthday. “For my son. May you always chase your dreams. Love, Dad.”

This right here, this is why I play. For the man who can’t any longer. To make him proud and carry out his dream. I get lost in my thoughts, looking through all the old photographs and notes I’ve kept in this box. It’s been a while since I pulled it out, the memories are too painful sometimes. We lost him suddenly. Well, it was sudden to me and Eliza but he had been sick. Mom knew he was sick, of course, he couldn’t hide anything from her if he tried. He didn’t want us to know though, didn’t want our last memories of him to be him feeling sick or weak so everyday he woke us up with a smile on his face and played ball with me or dolls with Eli. Until one day he was just gone.

The day after we lost him I had a little league game, I refused to miss it. Mom wanted us all to stay home together but I told her I had to play, it’s what dad would’ve wanted. He taught me about focus, honing in on a dream and giving it your all and from that moment forward I put my all into baseball. Everything I had went to the sport and getting good grades to get into college and get drafted.

My phone rings, making me jolt back to the present, I grab it from the nightstand and see Emilia calling me. Fuck. I got stuck in my thoughts too long and now I’m late to pick her up. I’m standing and running down the stairs as I answer the phone.

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