Page 53 of Worth the Risk

“Baby. I’m so sorry. I’m on my way.” I slip my sneakers on, forgoing the coat and rushing to my Jeep.

“It’s okay. I just got off. You know I can walk home if you’re busy.”

“No. I’m not, I just got distracted.” I ignore the fact that she thinks it would be okay to walk home. Even if I was busy, I’d find a way to make sure she wasn’t walking across campus in the dark, especially now with freezing temperatures and icy sidewalks. I’m already down the street, two minutes away from Nico’s. It’s close to my house which I’m grateful for now.

“I’m pulling up in two.”

“Okay. See you soon.” Her soft voice grounds me. Taking me down from my slightly frazzled state. Moments later I pull up to the front of the restaurant, putting the jeep in park. I quickly unbuckle and hop out.

“Hi.” I breathe out the word. Leave it to her to look stunning even after working all evening.

“Hi.” She stands on her tiptoes, planting a soft and quick kiss to my lips. “Is everything okay?” Her eyes lock on mine like she can read my thoughts if she looks long enough.

“Yes.” It’s a half truth. My mind was a mess today but seeing her has brought me back to the present. I reach for the bag slung over her shoulder, sliding it off, she holds my gaze a beat longer before nodding and heading to the other side of the car. I follow her, opening the door and letting her get in before placing her bag in the backseat and getting back in the driver's side.

I start the drive back to my place. The first time Emilia’s spending the night where it’s just the two of us since Ryan is, thankfully, at an away game. When we got back to campus yesterday we both took a night to ourselves and settled back into our respective homes. Tomorrow we’re going car shopping for Emi so it made sense to have her stay over tonight. I mean I would’ve wanted her to even if we weren’t going anywhere but it’s a good excuse.

“So, James was fired.” Emilia states from her side of the car.

“What? Really?” I can’t say I’m unhappy about that. I hated that they would still have shifts together but there was simply nothing I could do about it.

“Yeah. I guess after his shift the other day he cornered Taylor, she just started she’s a freshman,” she clarifies. “She went on a date with him last week but never called him back, he obviously didn’t like that and tried to kiss her right in front of Nico’s after they closed but thankfully her roommate was driving in to pick her up as it happened.” Emi finishes the story just as I pull into my driveway and put the car in park.

“Wow. I’m glad he got fired.”

“Me too.” She plays with the hem of her jacket before looking up at me with glossy eyes. “I should’ve said something to the owners back when this happened to me. It’s my fault it happened to her.” A stray tear slips down Emi’s cheek, I reach up brushing it away.

“It’s not your fault. If it wasn’t her, then it could’ve been someone else, somewhere else.”

“I know that but I still just feel… ugh, like I should’ve done something more.” At the time I wanted her to do more, I didn’t want to just let him go home with his friend but it was her decision to make and at the end of the day neither of us saw this coming from him. I played ball with him for three years and he always seemed like the perfect family guy.

“I know.” I grab her hands in mine. “But you did what you needed to at the time and now you never have to see him again.” She nods and I lean forward pressing a kiss to her temple.

“C’mon let's go inside.” It’s not until we get upstairs and I open the door to my room that I realize I left out my black box with pictures scattered all over my bed. In my frantic haze I just left everything right where it was in an attempt to get to Emilia as fast as I could. I haven’t talked to Emi much about my dad. She knows he passed but that’s about it. It’s not for any reason now other than I feel like she could see right through me. The fear I’ll confess something to her that I haven’t even yet confessed to myself runs through me.

“Aw are these baby pictures?” Emi coo’s heading over to my bed. I could hide it, run in front of her and stuff it away but I find myself wanting to share these memories with her.

I watch as she gently picks up one of the photos that’s scattered on the bed, one of me, mom and Eli eating ice cream, taken by dad. “Wow, your mom hasn’t aged a day. I need her secrets.” I can’t help but chuckle because she’s right. My mom looks nearly the same today as she does in this picture that was taken fifteen years ago.

“I’m sure she’ll share all her secrets with you. She adores you.” I sit next to Emilia on the bed, looking at the photo in her hands.

“Well that’s good because the feelings are mutual.” She smiles at me before picking up another photograph, one of my dad and I from after my first tee ball game. I’m on dad’s shoulders, glove still on my hand, smiling like an idiot. “Is this your dad?” Her voice comes out softer, more gentle as she looks from the photo to me.

“Yeah.”

“You look just like him.” In this photo my dad is only about twenty-six so I’m only a few years younger now than he was then. There are a lot of similarities between us, I have his green eyes, the same curly hair though his is a few shades darker, and the same smile.

“My parents met in college, sophomore year. They fell in love quickly and were engaged around Christmas of their senior year. They got married that June a month after graduation. Then nine months later, there I was.”

“Wow. That’s amazing.” There’s a wistful look in her eyes. Despite everything she is a romantic through and through. I can only hope I get to show her the beautiful life full of love that she deserves.

“Anyways, my dad was playing in the minor league right after college with dreams of getting called up to the majors but he ended up tearing his rotator cuff and needing surgery. His arm never really got back up to full strength and he had to give up his career.”

“Ahh. So baseball runs in the family.”

“Yeah. He’s why I started playing.” I look down at the picture still in Emilia’s hands. A wave of emotion takes over me as I think about telling her what happened next. I feel the wetness pool in my eyes, I look to the ceiling willing the tears away.

“You don’t have to tell me anything else.” She slips her small hand in mine giving me a reassuring squeeze. For years I’ve refused to talk about dad’s passing. It was too painful. I went to therapy for a while but eventually my mom let me stop and ever since then I purposely avoid topics surrounding this time of my life.

---