Page 58 of Worth the Risk

I try to take a deep breath, closing my eyes and focusing on something else entirely. Emilia, graduate school, athletic training. I take another deep breath, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, then another. I’m able to get my breathing back under some form of control but I still feel shaky and a little weak.

It hits me that I just had a panic attack. Something I’ve never experienced firsthand and never wished to especially after seeing how they tore apart Eliza in high school. A panic attack thinking about playing baseball for the rest of my life. I never thought that the one thing that tied me to my dad would cause me pain.

Sitting on the ground for a few more minutes, I get my breathing more under control and my eyes start to focus back in. Only then do I dare to get up and out of the locker room. The rest of the guys will be filing in here soon and I’m not ready to face them. Not yet. I head two doors down from the boys’ locker room, finding one of the training and recovery rooms unlocked. Plopping down on one of the assessment benches, I pull out my phone and send a text to the one person I want to talk to.

Me

I need you

Chapter 38

Emilia

When Liam walked through my doors something seemed off, I just can’t put my finger on exactly what. He only visited for a few minutes but his energy was different than usual at the time, maybe it’s the pressure of the first game of the season? I was blessed with an almost real smile when he gave me one of his jerseys to wear tonight. I love it. I love him. I wanted to say it especially after he said his last name looked good on me but it just didn’t feel like the right moment.

I’m waiting just outside the front doors of my apartment as his whole family, minus Ryan who’s meeting us there, pulls up. Ann rolls down her window from the passenger side, to wave to me. “Hi, honey,” she calls as Eli rolls down the back window. “Hi, Emi! You can get on this side I’ll scoot over.” I smile at the women, climbing in the passenger side of the back. “Hi Emilia.” Dean turns around, greeting me from his position as driver.

“Hi everyone. It’s good to see you again.”

“You too, Em. We’ve missed you.” Ann turns in her seat to give me her warm smile.

“Oh my gosh, he gave you a jersey! That’s so cute.” Eliza squeals looking at my outfit. I can’t help but laugh, Liam said she’s a hopeless romantic and I can definitely see that. Dean drives us ten minutes to the other side of campus where the baseball field is, near all the other athletic fields and buildings. Eliza tells me about her semester so far and the new bakes she’s been working on and I fill her in on my internship. Eli is quickly turning into a best friend, we get along so well. When we arrive, Eliza loops her arm through mine and we head towards the entrance of the stadium.

Ryan waves to us as we walk up, he’s waiting outside with Garrett, they have a rare Friday night off from hockey, instead heading up north for a game tomorrow. “Hey mom, dad.” Ryan hugs his parents who are slightly ahead of us. Eli abruptly stops walking, causing me to jolt in my tracks.

“What?” I look at her confused.

“Who is that?” She whispers to me. I follow her gaze and smirk when I see her hazel eyes pointed right at Garrett.

“That’s Garrett. He’s on the hockey team with Ryan.”

“He’s so hot.” She fans herself. Garrett is definitely an attractive guy, with dark brown hair, chocolate eyes and a trimmed beard that makes all the girls at campus fawn over him. However, Garrett doesn’t believe in love for himself. Like me, he didn’t have the best upbringing and for some of us that makes us driven to find true love and for others it makes us run away from it.

“Don’t let your brother hear you say that.” She smirks at me, knowing her brothers would lock her away if she looked at one of their friends like that.

“Hey Eli.” Ryan moves to us, swooping her off her feet into a big bear hug. “Missed you.” I move out of the way for the sibling reunion.

“Hey Gar. How was practice?”

“Good. Same old.” He takes in the jersey I’m wearing. “Things are still going good with Liam I see.” He smiles at me.

“Yes they are.” I smile back.

“I’m happy for you.” He pulls me into a side hug. I’m thankful for Garrett, one of the only guys in my life I trusted before I met Liam. He’s been there for me since he came to campus my sophomore year, despite him not being the most open person or wanting a million friends when he heard my story we just connected.

Ryan has one arm slung around Eli’s shoulder and slings the other around mine. “Alright, who’s ready to watch some ball?”

Sitting in the stand, surrounded by Liam's family is a feeling I’m not even sure how to describe. I feel welcome, like I belong here. It’s the same feeling I got when Rosie and I became friends, like she just belonged in my life and I feel the same way about him and his family.

We got to the field pretty early, catching the last glimpses of the Bears' warmups, but Liam wasn’t anywhere to be found. My heart sinks a little not spotting him on the field and there’s this ache in my chest, something feels off. He should be out there right? The Bears’ retreat back to the locker room as the seats in the stadium fill in. Families and students showing up for the first game of the season.

My legs bounce anxiously, waiting to see my favorite first baseman. In my pocket my phone vibrates, I expect to see a text from Rosie who should be here any minute, she was wrapping up a studio session. Instead, I see his name flash across my screen. My heart rate picks up as I swipe on the message revealing three little words.

Liam

I need you.

I shoot up to my feet, trying to figure out the best way out of here. I’m in the middle of an aisle and either way I’ll have to make my way past a group of people. I don’t even know how to get to wherever he is.

---