Page 56 of Sizzle

I had no idea that we wouldn’t have a shot. Because the next day, after I graduated, Gabrielle disappeared from my life for over ten years.

The memory floods me, leaving me with this inexplicable breathlessness as if it’s happening all over again all these years later.

Because it seems to be. Time has duped me, putting me in the exact same situation over a decade in the future. And just like that night, Gabrielle turns away without another word, retreating from the danger this spark between us brings. Fleeing from the diner without ever picking up food or sitting down. I have no way of knowing what she was doing here or when I’ll see her again.

Once again, I’m left contemplating what will become of my life if she’s not in it.

26

GABRIELLE

Questions blur before me about medical history and surgical procedures and family diagnoses.

Looking around the waiting room of the only ob-gyn in Hope Crest, who probably delivered three-fourths of this town, I’m sorely bitter about being here alone.

As if it’s not of my own doing, having chosen to withhold this news from the father of my baby, but hey, a hormonal pregnant woman can feel however she wants. The three couples sitting around the room holding hands and looking like they’re out of their minds with happiness are making me feel a kind of jealousy I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before.

And all because I’m a damn coward. A spineless, fearful, too-proud coward.

Coward doesn’t begin to cover it. In the last week, I’ve seen Liam at least three times, twice from afar and once up close at the diner when I fled like a total chickenshit. I’ve had ample time to apologize. To tell him I regret ever accusing him of something as vile as using me for some fantasy. To tell him that I know deep in my heart we were always endgame and that I know he’d never get bored with me after the chase.

I’ve had more than enough time to tell him that I’m pregnant with his baby, that we’re about to bring a little human into the world together.

That I love him so much, I ache every morning when my eyes open, knowing I probably screwed this up beyond repair.

The guilt, pain, and fear sit on my shoulders like a weight. One I don’t want to stress about, because ever since I found out I was carrying this child, I’ve wanted to give it nothing but peace. I know that sooner or later, I’ll have to put my tail between my legs, admit how wrong I was, and plead with Liam to forgive how stupid and hurtful my words were.

Today, though, today I get to see this baby for the first time. Everything else can wait.

Still, that twinge of jealousy as I’m called back, alone, and walk past all the couples burns deep in my belly. I’m a stupid woman, thinking that I could continue to do it all alone.

I need Liam, and that’s no longer something I’m scared of. As soon as I know both the baby and I are healthy, I should go tell him that.

“Hi, Gabrielle, I’m Nicole. I’ll be doing your ultrasound today.” The short brunette in scrubs brings me back to a dark room and ushers me onto a padded chair.

Above me, three screens hang close to the ceiling, and next to the table is an ultrasound machine with all its bells and whistles.

“Can you just confirm your date of birth? And that you’ve filled your bladder to properly do this ultrasound?” she asks, and I confirm all the information she asks for.

Lord knows I’m about to pee a geyser when this is over, but I did as they asked when I set the appointment up.

“All right, since you’re so early into the pregnancy, we’re going to be doing a vaginal ultrasound, if you could just undress from the waist down and lie back with this sheet over you, I’ll be right back in.”

Her kind smile is the last thing I see before she exits the room, and my throat nearly closes at how nervous and excited I am. This moment is one so many women look forward to their whole life, and I thought I might not get to experience it.

“All ready?” A knock at the door has me scrambling onto the table.

“Yes!” I call, more than ready to get a glimpse of my baby.

After Nicole sets up all the equipment and explains how the ultrasound will run, I try to relax as she inserts the probe and begins twirling it around my uterus.

“Does everything feel okay?” she asks, looking at her screen.

“I mean, it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, but I have a feeling I’m in for a world of that through the next nine months, so I won’t complain now.” We both laugh at what I’m sure is brutal honesty.

“You’re not wrong.” She shrugs. “I have three kids, and I love them to death, but pregnancy is as uncomfortable as it is wonderful.”

I’m about to quip back something self-deprecating, but I’m distracted when a pea size blob fills the screen.

---