Page 114 of The Last Lost Girl

By the time I’m halfway through my task, my hands start to tremble. I hide it well enough at first for no one to notice, but it doesn’t take long before Belle feels the tremor when I draw out Milan’s shadow. I witness his life, return what Pan stole, and Hudson escorts him outside.

“I think it’s time for you to rest,” Belle quietly tells me.

“I’m fine.”

“It’s taking too much out of you,” she argues.

“Hardly.”

Belle fists her tiny hands on her hips. “You’re quaking so hard I’m surprised your bones haven’t splintered!”

“Your exaggeration skills need some work,” I deadpan.

She sighs. “It’s too taxing, Ava.”

“And returning the whole town’s shadows won’t be? This is nothing compared to what I need to do.” I wish there was a more efficient way of doing this. This process takes too long.

“The timeline can be extended,” she says uneasily.

I roll my eyes. “Even you don’t like that idea, and no, it can’t. I want to go after Paris before he wastes away, or worse.”

She huffs and crosses her arms. “I like it better than the idea of you dying.”

Waving off her concern, I declare, “I’m not dying. I’m just tired.”

“Then take a nap and we will resume,” she offers breezily.

“No!” I snap.

Hands on her hips. “Are you truly that stubborn? Or is there something you’re not telling me?”

Because she’s been an open book? I look past her to where Hudson is speaking to someone at the door. As protective of me as he is, even he hasn’t ordered me to stop.

“Ava,” she warns. “I’ll tell him you’re too exhausted to go on.”

“You’ll do no such thing.” I level her with a glare. “I don’t want to go to sleep. When I do, I forget, Belle. Who people are, where I am, who I am. It’s terrifying. So the thought of sleep isn’t exactly appealing.”

Breath whooshes from her lungs. “Oh.” She shakes her head sadly. “You can only go so long before you have to rest.”

“I know, but I can last a little longer. Let me get through the rest of the crew and then I’ll worry about it.”

“Promise me that you’ll sleep when you finish with them, and I’ll promise to watch over you and remind you when you wake.”

“You just want to make sure Hudson stays away from me,” I tease.

She does not laugh. “That is certainly a motivating perk.”

As tired as I feel, I know I can’t stay awake forever. And I know I need to be at my best before I see Pan again or step any closer to Neverland. But I am so, so afraid to fall asleep in peace and wake in fear.

I change the subject. “There’s something you’re not telling me about Hudson.”

She chews her thumbnail. A nervous and very telling habit. I’m right.

I throw up my hands. “Why do you hate him?”

“I don’t hate him,” she says, like it hurts to speak it.

“Well, if it’s not hate, what is it?”