Page 122 of The Last Lost Girl

Belle laughs freely, twirls in a circle. “I feel like me again. Finally.”

I laugh with her, fighting tears and a swell of emotion, because I’m so happy she’s whole, and I push the heel of my hand against my chest and bite back the words, But now, I don’t feel like me…

I calm my breathing and try to settle into my skin now that it feels different. I feel different.

The sensation of carrying more than one shadow is strange. The textures and timbres feel different from the vines Pan gifted me. The new ones feel like silk gliding over and under my skin as they churn and roll like waves.

In a few more breaths and the shadows adjust to my body’s temperature and become nothing more than a hum.

Like my vines, I feel a sentience. An awareness that doesn’t feel right. In them, I feel Pan.

I look to Belle to ask if she’d felt him and stop myself. She must have. She sensed him in my shadows. She would have sensed him in these.

And I can’t ruin her happiness.

My sister is the sun, just like I imagined she might be. She is radiance embodied. Her golden hair and eyes glimmer, and her laughter is like tinkling bells.

“Tinkerbell?” Hudson beams as he walks toward us with a full waterskin. His smile dims a second later when he realizes what her luminescence means, then swallows when he sees the umbra she’s worn waft from my skin instead.

My sister’s smile is contagious, but what makes my heart want to burst is that her eyes are pure and unchanging. She is whole. Unburdened. Vibrant in a way I don’t think I’ve ever been or ever will be. And it’s beautiful.

I wonder if her radiance may impact this world so fully that Pan won’t recognize anything he’s tried to ruin. I think of Nyin… then of the fairies. I hope her family isn’t dead. I hope they haven’t abandoned their home. But if they’re corrupted, I want the ability to lift the shade from their eyes and bodies.

While I know it’s not fair to ask something of her while she’s still reveling in the feel of her own skin, I’m afraid I’ll forget to ask at all if I don’t do it now.

“Belle, how soon can you make more of the salve? The sirens need help. I worry other creatures here do, too.” I haven’t seen Nyin since the night she came to warn me about Pan on the shore when Juneau and Seoul returned from Neverland without Paris.

She gives a throaty laugh and turns her palms up. Her brows furrow in concentration and her hands begin to tremble. Gold, shimmering liquid pools in her palm. But then her breathing becomes labored and her shoulders hunch inward. She looks up with a wince.

“More will come. My power is still awakening. It’s been dormant for so long.”

My head ticks back. “Dormant? You could compel people back home.”

She waves me off. “That’s nothing.”

I choke. Nothing?

“Can you compel Pan?” If she can… if she’s that powerful…

“I couldn’t when he was a boy, so I doubt I can now.”

“That was a long time ago. You’re more powerful now, right?” I argue.

Belle shrugs sadly. “Fairies are born with as much magic as they’ll ever have. Mine will never grow. It just is. I just have to let it awaken and I’ll be ready…”

“Then maybe we need to find a way to dampen his power,” I suggest.

Belle’s eyes sharpen. “That’s quite an idea.”

She and I need to talk about what she can do and what her limitations are – soon. We just need to get my shadow back and leave the island. That is, if she still wants to help me now that she’s free…

My sister goes still and stares at the space between homes and the deep blue sea, then glances down the floating walkway. “There are a few things I need to do. Can you two finish up without me?”

There are only eight or nine homes left on this row. I count the shadows threaded within me like stitches in a seam. Nine – one of which is Paris’s.

“We can,” Hudson answers, then tells Belle to meet us back at the ship when she’s through with her task.

Belle may not have wings, but she’s fast on her feet. As she runs, it still looks like she’s flying. It’s almost as if her feet barely touch the planks she skims across.

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