Page 30 of Wish We Were There

Parker made quick work of the few panels that needed to be replaced, then carefully swept up his side of the stage before grabbing an extra brush and painting on the varnish. Between the two of them, they put the first coat on quickly, and soon they were standing awkwardly off to the side to let it dry—neither moving to do anything else, but not quite looking at the other, either.

It was Parker who finally broke the silence. “So, uh... How are you holding up?”

Taylor held back a laugh and shrugged, eyes still self-consciously avoiding Parker. “I’ve been better for sure. But I guess I’m feeling alright today.”

“Good,” Parker replied, sounding genuinely relieved. After a beat, he added, “I, um, I really missed talking to you this week.”

This time, Taylor couldn’t stifle his smile, his heart stuttering in his chest. “Yeah... Me too. Sorry. I don’t... I don’t know what to say, except that I freaked out. Sorry.”

“I’m sorry I freaked out, too,” Parker replied softly. “I, uh... I don’t really know what to think about... everything. But I want you to know I care about you, Taylor. And I don’t want to lose you.”

They were both silent for a long while, Taylor’s heart pounding in his chest so hard that he was sure Parker must be able to hear it. When he finally managed to turn his gaze, the other man’s face was tense as he looked down at his feet, but Parker’s eyes flickered up to meet his own. He smiled shakily for just a moment, then offered slowly, “Can we talk about it?”

Taylor’s expression faltered, and he looked away again. This was what he wanted, wasn’t it? So why did he feel so afraid?

“Yeah,” he said quickly, before he could talk himself out of it. “Let’s go sit in the green room. The new couch is up there.”

“That sounds good,” Parker agreed, smiling gratefully, before following Taylor up the narrow stairs into the green room. The room looked significantly better than it had when they’d started. He planned on painting the walls a light, cool gray; but some of the decor was already in the room, including the new velvety, dark blue couch that had arrived well over a week ago. He could see the final room clearly in his mind’s eye, but he wouldn’t be able to bring that vision to life until all the bigger projects were done.

Taylor sat down heavily on the couch. Parker looked down at him for a beat, then carefully sat down on the opposite end of it, several inches of space intentionally kept between them.

“So,” Parker said slowly. “I, uh... I have a lot of questions. But maybe you can just... tell me what you want to tell me, then I can ask after.”

Taylor gulped down the anxiety rising in the back of his throat. “Yeah. Okay.”

Chapter Twelve

Parker

Taylor was silent for a long moment, visibly gathering his thoughts. He ran his hand along the arm of the blue velvet couch, back and forth, leaving a pale mark on the soft fabric where his long fingers brushed across it.

Parker watched him, forcing himself to be patient in spite of the anxiety roiling in his chest. Part of him hadn’t really believed Taylor would agree to talk with him about what had happened; the fact that he’d wanted to meet today at all had been a shock on its own. Despite all the questions he wanted to ask, he had to hold it in for now—hopefully, everything Taylor wanted to say would give him answers.

“Zach and I were getting a divorce,” Taylor finally said, the words coming out all in a rush. His voice echoed faintly in the mostly empty green room. “About a year ago we had a talk... I was ready to settle down and stop touring. I was just... tired, I guess. Tired of always being somewhere other than home. So I wanted to stop, or at least cut back a lot.”

He paused, scrubbing a nervous hand through his hair. His eyes darted toward Parker, but flickered away again just as fast before he continued, “But Zach didn’t want to stop. That was where it started. The more we talked about it, the more we knew we were just drifting apart. Nothing bad happened between us, you know? We just wanted different things—things we couldn’t have together.”

Parker nodded. That part, at least, made some sense to him. Zach had spent all his life chasing the fame and success that they were finally achieving. For him, he was probably seeing things as finally ramping up, and stopping now would be a waste of all the effort that came before. But Taylor was far more laid-back and ready to be done with the grind.

“I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be part of the band anymore, even if we did slow down touring, to be honest,” Taylor sighed, looking away. “I don’t know. I told Zach that even just fewer tours would be better, but... Now I think I was just trying to hold on to how things were as much as I could. But I was ready to be done even then. And Zach was the frontman, so as long as he wanted to keep going, Get Well Soon would still be around. And we decided that... Well, we had just grown apart, and our relationship wouldn’t survive me leaving the band. The summer tour was supposed to be my last, and then we would...”

Taylor paused, clearing his throat. He looked so small and sad curled around himself on the sofa; Parker’s chest ached with a mix of sympathy and guilt and frustration all at once. He still had a hundred questions competing to be the first out of his mouth, but he kept silent for now. Interrupting would only slow things down, and he needed to know everything.

“Then we would make it official, and I would leave. So that was that,” Taylor continued. His eyes remained downturned, arms folded across his chest. “And then Zach started dating someone, and I... I was surprised at how it didn’t even hurt. I was even happy for him. I guess we had both been pretty checked out for a while, but with how busy we were all the time, it just didn’t feel like it, you know?”

Zach dating someone else so easily, and Taylor not caring, shocked Parker all over again—but clearly his impression of their relationship had been wrong. So instead, he just nodded, watching Taylor attentively as the other man ran a hand through his hair nervously.

Wait. Maybe it was… He blurted out, “It’s not Dean, is it?”

Taylor’s head swung around to stare at him blankly. “Huh?”

“Who Zach was dating,” Parker said, though it was making less sense now that he’d said it. Still, it might explain some of why Dean had been so weird to him at the dinner all those weeks ago. “Is that why he was, like, mad at me or whatever?”

Taylor chuckled and shook his head, allowing Parker to breathe a sigh of relief. “No, it’s not Dean, but, uh, actually, it was a friend of Dean’s. He got really defensive over how the, uh, some of the money was divided up after Zach passed, so... Me and Angie are good, but I think Dean is still kind of mad at me for his friend, and maybe thought... I don’t know.”

“Thought what?” Parker asked, still confused.

“I think he thought maybe we were already dating, and you were... benefiting from money he thought should have gone to Rogelio,” Taylor said, grimacing. Parker flushed with embarrassment, glancing away. He supposed it was a fair assumption, all things considered. Still, even though he didn’t know Dean that well, he couldn’t help but wish the other man had just said something so they could all clear the air, instead of shooting him dirty looks in silence.

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