Page 22 of Protected By The Polar Bear

“Let me get this out. Please.”

I nod, and he takes a deep breath.

“My family… growing up… it wasn’t great for me,” he finally says, and I nod, squeezing his hand in mine. “My mom left my dad when I was pretty young. I don’t really remember her all that much, but I thought we were happy and then one day, she was just gone. I never saw her again.”

“I’m sorry, Ash. I can’t imagine abandoning my kid or husband like that.”

“Me either, but she did.”

We’re silent as he gathers his thoughts, and I wait for him to go on. I can see how much remembering this and talking about it pains him. I wish we didn’t have to talk about it, but I want to understand him better, and I think it might help Ash to open up to someone.

“Her leaving killed my dad. He just became this shell. He never smiled again. He never wanted to do anything. He went to work, or he went to the bar, but that was it. I basically raised myself after she left. I lost both of my parents that day,” he tells me.

He clears his throat and my heart squeezes in my chest.

“My mom was human. I grew up in a town with humans and I watched my human friends’ parents get divorced. I guess I just internalized that, and being with a human just seemed like a mistake. Being with anyone was a gamble, but if I was mated to a human, I was so sure that I was going to wind up like my dad, and I didn’t want that. I couldn’t be like him. I just couldn’t.”

“You’re not,” I promise him as I lean forward and grab his hand..

“I am. Look at me. Before you, I went to work and home. I had no life.”

“You have a life. You have friends, a family here.”

“I’m lonely, Tessa. I have been for a while, but I’ve been lying to myself and pretending like I’m happy. Like I have everything I need, but that was a lie. I need you.”

Tears sting my eyes, and I swallow hard.

“I’m sorry for pushing you this afternoon. I shouldn’t have. I’ll wait the ninety-seven days for you. I’ll wait as long as you need me to,” he tells me, and tears spill onto my cheeks.

“I just want you to feel safe in this relationship. I know that it might not seem like it, but I’m all in with you, Tessa. I have been since I claimed you. I mean, even before then, I was obsessed with you. I was fighting with my head, but my polar bear and my heart already knew what I needed. I should have listened.”

I swipe at the tears, and he tightens his grip on my hand.

“I’m sorry, mate. I was an idiot, and I kept you at arm’s length because I was scared that you would leave me if I gave in to our mating bond. Now I’m terrified that you won’t forgive me and you’ll never be mine. I need you, Tessa. I love you.”

I sob, scooting my chair closer to his bed.

“I love you too. I forgive you. I get it. I mean, when I found out what you did, I kind of did the same thing. We were both just trying to protect our hearts.”

He tugs on my hand, and I climb up onto the bed.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I protest, and he shakes his head.

“I need you closer. Come here.”

I lay down on my side next to him and rest my head on his chest.

“How’s your shoulder?” I ask him.

“It’s healing already. It will probably be all better by tomorrow.”

“Lucky. I wish that I could heal that fast.”

“You can now that I’ve claimed you. You get some of my properties. It won’t be as fast as me, but it will be faster than a normal human.”

“That’s cool.”

We’re silent as we cuddle, and he rubs his hand up and down my back.

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