Page 108 of Mud, Love, and Chemistry

“Yeah, I mean, unless you have plans.”

“No, no plans.” I shake my head, more so to clear my confusion than anything. “I just wasn’t expecting to use it so soon.”

He hikes a shoulder to his ear. “Well, I’m leaving early Saturday to go home, so it’s either tonight, or January.”

Him putting it that way makes a sense of urgency rise within me. “Tonight is fine. Can we meet at, like, six?”

“Sure. I’ve got one more class today, and it goes until four-thirty, so six is perfect. See you later,” Sam says before turning to walk in the opposite direction.

All I can do is stare after him. What am I doing? I spent the whole last week avoiding the guy so I could get him out of my system, and here I am agreeing to dinner with him. I must be crazy.

Chapter 34

Lisa pulls her beat-up Honda up to the curb in front of the Italian restaurant and sighs. “Well, here you go. Are you sure about this?”

“No.” I shake my head slowly, staring at the lit up sign front.

“It is sort of the opposite of your plan to avoid him until after the holiday break.”

I roll my eyes at her judgmental tone. “I know that.”

“It’s not too late,” she says melodically, like she’s trying to persuade me. “I can still drive away if you want.”

“I don’t think I want you to.”

She sighs again. “Then what do you want?”

“Lasagna,” I say flatly.

Lisa laughs. “I guess you’re in the right place.”

I turn to her, my face stoic as I try to hide the fear and doubt. “Am I crazy if I go in there?”

“No, Brynn. You’re not crazy. Confused, maybe, but not crazy.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” I blow a piece of stray hair from my face.

Lisa puts the car in park. “Can I ask you something? And I want an honest answer. None of your variable weighing nonsense, got it?”

I nod.

“Do you have feelings for Sam? Like, honest to goodness feelings in here.” She taps my heart.

I let my head fall back to gaze at the roof of the car. That’s such a loaded question. I mean, with the way things started between us, I’d have to say yes. But when you factor in all the lies, it gets muddy. Then, after sleeping with him for months and coming to genuinely like him as a person, I suppose I’d go with?

“Brynn!” Lisa’s voice reverberates off the car windows, and I snap my head over. “I said no overthinking.”

“It’s not an easy answer.”

“Well, I don’t want to sway your answer in any way, but I want you to know that I’ve always liked Sam.”

I scrunch my eyebrows. “Really? Always? What about all the times you called him a prick?”

“I was validating my friend who was hurting.” She raises her nose in the air before giving me the side-eye and laughing. “But seriously, I do like him.”

A warmth builds within me, but dissipates as I remember what Sam said about her confronting him at Coyote Canyon. “Hey, why didn’t you ever tell me about you seeing him at the bar that night I ran into Connor? Sam said you really chewed him out.”

“Oh, that.” Lisa makes a face, a guilt-stricken expression like she’s been caught. “Well, you didn’t ever ask, and you seemed so much better after that, I didn’t see the point.”

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