Page 92 of Mud, Love, and Chemistry

What do I do now? I can’t go up there after witnessing that. There’s no way I’d be able to look him in the eye, let alone have sex with him. Ugh, I might actually puke.

That gives me an idea. I pull out my phone.

BRYNN: Hey, I can’t come over today. I think I have food poisoning or something.

SAM: Oh, shit. That sucks. Do you need anything?

Dammit, why does he have to be sweet right now?

BRYNN: No, thanks. Lisa is here to take care of me.

BRYNN: But I’ll send over my notes for the study group in a little while.

SAM: Yeah, sure, whenever. No rush. Get some rest, and if you need anything, let me know.

BRYNN: Okay, thanks.

I let my head fall back against the tree as my arm falls to my side. I’m in the clear for now, at least. I need to get home and figure out what the fuck I’m going to do about this. With a deep, bolstering breath, I climb to my feet and begin the long trek back home.

After I burst through our front door, I slam it behind me and flee to my room. I flop onto my bed and scream into my pillow, but I don’t cry. I can’t. My blood boils so furiously that my tears evaporate before they even reach my eyes.

Beating my fists into my mattress, I scream some more. The anger swirling inside me has taken control of my body and mind, and I can’t stop myself. I can’t even think straight. I’m sure I look like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, but no one is here to see.

How could he? How could he betray me like that? After all the things he’s said to me, not to mention all the things we’ve shared and done. He used me.

Again.

He told me all the things I wanted to hear and, like an idiot, I ate them up. I let my guard down. I trusted him when I knew I shouldn’t. He showed me who he was when he showed up in O-Chem, exposed all his lies, then became my enemy. I knew better, and yet, here I am. All because I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Like Connor.

I roll over, flopping my arm over my face, and the tears finally come. Am I destined to be that girl? The one who’s only good temporarily? The one who’s great for warming a bed, but not for loving?

Fuck, I hope not.

But when will I get my chance? I’ve already proven I’m no good at character judgment. The one guy I thought was my forever left me for bigger and better things, and the guy I thought was my insta-love story turned out to be a lying prick. Twice.

The sobs lurch out of me so violently, I curl into the fetal position.

I don’t know how long I lie in bed crying, but it’s long enough for the sun to go down. When my stomach rumbles, I realize I haven’t eaten anything since lunch, so I head downstairs. I search the fridge, coming up empty. My stomach may be hungry, but I have no appetite.

I settle for a bowl of cereal, which I eat on the couch while watching trashy reality TV. I need something mindless. Curling up under a blanket, I nurse my cereal and let the drama on the TV negate my own.

It isn’t long after I finish my cereal that the front door opens and Lisa strolls in with Brent hot on her heels. I try my best to wipe my face and plaster on a happy expression. “Hey, guys.”

Lisa does a double take. “Oh, Brynn. I thought you’d be at Sam’s.” She frowns as she watches my jaw quiver. “Oh, shit. What’s wrong?”

I raise my gaze to the ceiling, blinking away the stinging tears, but I can’t speak.

Lisa runs to my side. “Brynn, what happened?”

“He did it again.” I drop my chin, locking my watery eyes on hers. “He lied.”

She grimaces and turns to Brent. “Can you give us a minute?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I’ll wait in your room,” he says, then heads upstairs.

When we hear the door to her room shut, Lisa turns back to me. “Okay, spill it.”

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