Page 94 of Mud, Love, and Chemistry

I never wanted a fairy tale, didn’t need a handsome prince to come save me. I knew I was perfectly capable of saving myself. My life was going to be an adventure, and I wanted someone to share that with. I wished and wished for a partner, an ally, a soulmate.

Still do, but I haven’t found one yet.

With a heavy sigh, I spin to head back inside, but the patio swirls around me. I have to brace myself on a nearby stool. Hopefully, the world will stop spinning soon so I can get inside before the alcohol wears off and I’m able to feel the cold.

“Brynn?”

I freeze, and not from the chill in the air. That voice isn’t one I’ve heard in a while, and it’s one I never thought I’d ever hear again. One I never wanted to hear again.

Turning to the side, I find the absolute last person I’d like to see tonight. “Connor? What are you doing here?”

All the possibilities rush through my mind. Did he move back? Is he here to apologize for all the heartache he put me through? Is he here to ask for forgiveness? Even if he is, would I? If he walks over here and wraps his arms around me, will I let him?

I choke down a sudden rush of bile at that thought. Even as drunk as I am, I know where my convictions lie.

He shuffles toward me, hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. “It’s Brian’s birthday, so I flew out to celebrate.”

“Oh.”

“Hey, man. We’re going back in,” Connor’s friends say as they head toward the door.

He acknowledges them with a nod. “Cool. I’ll be there in a minute.” Turning back to me, his dark blue eyes soften under the patio lights. “Didn’t think I’d see you here tonight. It’s not your usual Thursday ladies’ night.”

“Well, things change.”

Connor’s head bobs with a despondent nod. “It’s good to see you, Brynn.”

“Connor, don’t,” I bite out before I can think about it.

His head jerks back, his shoulders suddenly tense. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t give me the ‘it’s good to see you’ pleasantries like we’re old friends who are going to get coffee later to catch up on life.”

“Well, aren’t we old friends?”

The noise that escapes me is a mixture of offense and disbelief, followed by a laugh. “No, we are not. You’re the guy who had my heart for two years before you ripped it out of my chest and stomped it into the pavement. So, don’t stand there and say it’s nice to see me.”

“Fuck, Brynn.” Connor takes a hand from his pocket and runs it over his short, dark-brown hair. “You’re a piece of work, you know that?”

I lift my chin, hesitantly letting go of the stool to stand up straight, and fold my arms. “Obviously, I was too much work for you.”

“Don’t start with that shit,” he groans. “You knew I was leaving. Hell, you even started researching jobs and grad schools in New York the day after I told you about my acceptance letter.”

“I wanted to know what my options were.”

“Two years in advance?” He throws his arms out to the side before slapping his outer thighs. “Come on, even you know that’s a little insane.”

I take a steadying breath, keeping my tone calm as I say, “What’s insane is you dumping me without warning.”

“Oh, please.” He rolls his eyes. “It’s not like me moving to New York came as a big surprise.”

“No, but you breaking up with me after two years because ‘long-distance doesn’t work’ was.” I make air quotes with my fingers as I use a stupid-sounding voice to mock him.

Connor narrows his eyes. “See, it’s shit like that snotty attitude of yours that told me we’d never work.”

I fight the quiver in my jaw as my thin hold on my resolve bends. “So, if you didn’t think we were going to last, why date me at all?”

He shrugs. “When we first started dating, it was fun. You were hot, smart, funny.” Connor takes a deep breath. “Things were going well, until I noticed how much of a control freak you were.”

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