Page 95 of Mud, Love, and Chemistry

His phrasing makes me clench my fists. “I am not?” I take a step forward, but the world spins again, and I stumble. Unfortunately, right into Connor.

“Whoa, careful.” He catches me by the forearm and guides me to sit on a stool. “Too many cranberry vodkas, huh?”

The fact that he even remembers what I like to drink infuriates me. He’s the one who abandoned me, he doesn’t get to be familiar with me anymore. I rip my arm from his grip. “I’m fine, thank you.”

Connor lets out a one-note chuckle as he licks his lips. “This is what I’m talking about. You always have to be the strong one. You can’t ever let go. It’s like you don’t need anyone. You certainly didn’t need me.” The last part comes out harsh and cold.

“Then why make it two years? Why not break things off sooner?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“Because I really liked you.”

He liked me? “So, you were lying every time you said ‘I love you’ to me?”

Hanging his head a moment, Connor meets my gaze again with a shrug. “Isn’t that what you say when someone says it to you?”

I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart breaks even more. Pieces of it chip off and the shards prick my veins. He didn’t mean any of it. Our entire relationship was a ruse. I wasted two years of my life on a guy who never intended to be my forever. My mouth opens and closes, but I can’t speak.

“Look, Brynn. I never meant to hurt you like that,” he says before letting out an exasperated sigh and lifting his gaze to the sky. “When I realized you weren’t ever going to change, though, I had to do something.”

“That’s not fair.” My voice shakes, showing my cracking confidence.

“No, what isn’t fair is how much I walked in your shadow. You always had to take the lead, and I always came in second.” He runs his tongue along his teeth like he’s debating what he’s going to say. “And it all sort of came together when we did that stupid Mud Down race.”

His words stab me right through the heart. “That was the tipping point?”

“You had me all hyped up about it, and I thought ‘hey, maybe this will be my chance to shine.’ I could finally show you that you didn’t always need to be number one. Then, when the day came, you proved how self-sufficient you were by scaling all the obstacles without me. You let me eat your dust.”

“We did all of them together,” I huff.

“Did we? Or did we do them adjacently?” Connor takes a step toward me. “Face it, Brynn. You are too independent to be with anyone seriously. I mean, what kind of guy would put up with that for the rest of his life?”

“Hey, there you are.”

I whip my head over to see Sam stepping through the patio door with a smile on his lips and two beers in his hands. The smile falls as he studies my face, and his gaze flicks to Connor. “I, uh, got you that beer you wanted. Sorry it took so long.” He walks to me, handing me a beer before turning to extend his hand to Connor. “Hey, man. I’m Sam.”

Connor clears his throat as he shakes Sam’s hand. “Hey. I’m Connor.”

“Nice to meet you.” Sam turns his gaze on me, concern lacing his features. “Everything okay?”

I nod. “Connor was…just leaving.”

With a quick sneer, Connor says, “Good luck, Brynn.”

I hear the music from inside suddenly swell before it fades to muffled thumps once again. When Connor is gone, my entire body goes slack, and I have to use Sam as a crutch.

“Shit, Brynn. Are you all right?” Sam holds me up, helping me to the railing.

My chest heaves as I focus on the ground in front of me, though I can’t see much through my watery eyes.

“Who was that guy?” Sam asks.

I shake my head. I can’t speak, let alone explain the cataclysmic blow I just took. “I… I need to get out of here.”

“Yeah, sure.” Sam takes the beer from my hand and sets it with his on a high-top table. He wraps an arm around my waist and directs me toward the door. “Let’s go.”

“But your beers.”

“Leave them.” Sam holds on to me as we navigate our way through the crowded bar. Once we get our coats and get outside, he leads me to his car, and I hear the locks click. He opens the passenger side door, but I hesitate, giving him a questioning look. He sighs. “I haven’t had anything to drink yet. Those beers I brought out to the patio were the first ones I ordered tonight. And they’re still full.”

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