Page 97 of Mud, Love, and Chemistry

Sam’s mouth curls into a smirk. “So, are you going to tell me what happened back there?”

I pick up my mug and blow across the rim. He’s obviously not going to just let me sit here in silence. Connor isn’t my preferred topic of conversation, and Sam’s the last person on the planet I want to talk to about my ex-boyfriend. But I’m also not ready to bring up what I saw at Sam’s apartment.

With a sigh, I set my mug down, keeping my hands wrapped around it. “Connor is my ex.”

“Oh,” Sam says, sounding like he put the pieces together. “You want to talk about it?”

No, but yes. Just stating who Connor is opens the floodgates, and the alcohol in my system makes me want to spill my guts about this fresh wound he carved into me. I take another sip of my perfectly mixed coffee and lick my lips. “Connor and I met my freshman year. He was a junior, but we hit it off instantly, and within weeks, we were dating.” I drop my hands to my lap to wring them. “When he was in his last semester, he started applying for grad school and got accepted to NYU.”

“Wow, that’s pretty awesome, right?”

I nod. “Yeah, it was one of his top choices. We were both very excited, but after graduation, he changed.”

“How so?”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I ponder whether to tell him. It’s none of his business. And after today, I don’t know if I want to tell Sam anything personal ever again.

But he does look genuinely curious, and he’s never been outwardly mean when I’ve opened up to him. It also helps that Sam sort of came to my rescue at the bar. I don’t think that means I’ve forgiven him, though. I’m still mad. Just maybe not seething anymore.

“He was super distant, didn’t return my texts or calls, sometimes until the next day. I chalked it up to him being busy preparing to move, so I didn’t say anything.” My throat constricts so I take another sip to let the hot liquid soothe it. “We ran the Mud Down that summer. I thought it was a great day, a good memory to end our summer with. But then, the next week, Connor broke up with me.”

Sam doesn’t say anything, but I watch his face twist with sympathy.

It’s a disarming look, to say the least. So I keep going. “I was devastated. I thought he was my forever, and when he left, well, I sort of shut down.” I pick up my spoon to fidget with it. “That’s why I went on all of two dates last year. It’s also why, when you and I met, I was single.”

“Did he give you any reason for the breakup?”

“Mhm.” I blink several times. “He said it was because long-distance never works, and two years was far too long to keep anything serious going.”

Sam sucks in a sharp breath. “Ouch.”

“Yeah.” I drop my gaze to my lap.

“So, what was happening at the bar, then? Was he trying to win you back or something?” The hint of jealousy in his voice gets garbled in his sip of coffee.

“No.” I let out a derisive snort. “I sort of bit his head off when he tried to give me the ‘it’s nice to see you’ line, and then he told me the truth behind our breakup.”

“Truth?” Sam’s eyebrows shoot up. “Long-distance wasn’t the reason?”

“Nope,” I say, emphasizing the p. “He broke up with me because I’m too stubborn and too controlling.”

A forceful breath blows from Sam’s lips, puffing his cheeks out a bit. “What an entitled dick.”

I smile, but it fades. “He has a point.”

“No, Brynn, he doesn’t,” Sam says with such an authoritative tone, it makes my eyes widen. “You are a born leader. I’ve seen that in so many instances, from the Mud Down to our study group. You don’t make people follow you, you lead the way.”

The smile works its way back to my lips. Okay, so maybe flattery works. The understanding and support Sam’s given me through this entire conversation isn’t bad either. With each word I speak, I feel lighter.

“And yeah, you may be the most stubborn woman I’ve ever met, but you’re a challenge, and that’s cool as fuck.”

I blush and tuck my chin. “Thanks.”

When I lift my head, I meet Sam’s gaze and my mouth runs dry. He’s doing that thing where he looks at me with such intensity, it makes me feel like the only person in the room. I hate that I like it. Especially right now.

“Here ya go,” our server says, sliding our plates in front of us. “Careful, the plates are hot.”

“Thanks,” we say in unison, catching eyes and smiling at each other.

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