Page 17 of Deep Connection

I wasn’t really listening because as he was talking, his fingers and then his mouth were doing everything they could to distract me. I couldn’t help how turned on I was and when he came off and started to take off the last thing standing between us, I gasped with the sight. He didn’t seem to wonder what I was worried about. Jason was no longer wobbly, and he moved me around in his arms like he was the one in charge. He really was too. I was powerless against the way he made me feel with his fingers. I opened my legs to his hand that started to rub on me again. He made comments of how hot and wet I was, but that was nothing that I hadn’t heard before. I was wet, dripping wet, and it was all for him. I was dying for him to push deep, and I just needed a moment.

“Please!” I didn’t know what exactly I was begging for, but whatever it was, Jason was going to give me everything that I needed. I was shaking underneath him, and his knees were wedging my thighs open. I had a lot on my mind, but at the end of the day, I just wanted him inside of me. I worried that something would happen and change it all again. I didn’t know if I was going to be able to figure that out. I didn’t know if I wanted to.

“I am so glad that I met you, Abigail.” Jason started.

“Great, now you want to converse,” I started to fuss, but then he surged deep, and I screamed out instead. I knew it was coming, saw how thick and nice he was, but being split wide open with his hard length was more than I could have prepared myself for. He felt amazing and before I could stop it, Jason was balls deep and he was kissing my lips, shushing my moans and whimpers. I’d gotten everything that I wanted, even though it felt like more than I could handle. Jason petted me like I was a nervous animal, making sounds to calm me down.

“Fuck you feel good.” He kept repeating that as he started to move inside of me. I looked up and his eyes were closed. He was getting into it, and I was turned on more than I had been in a very long time. Every stroke in, made us both moan in pleasure and await the next stroke to do it all over again.

I closed my eyes for a moment and relaxed my grip. I let myself feel the soft mattress underneath me, the heavy man pressing me deeper into it. Every time Jason leaned in and set me straight with his hard length, I dipped a little deeper into the mattress. Everything around me felt like it was so far away. I wanted to try many things, to make him move deeper, but I was afraid that I would throw him off again. I was feeling so good, but still trying to hold myself together as well. It was a strange way of living and honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with the feelings that I had racking up inside of me.

I came multiple times, but he didn’t slow down, and I didn’t want him to. Instead, I clung to him and let him slide in and out of me at whatever pace that he wanted. It was more than I could handle and before I could say more or do anything else, Jason was pulling out and flipping me onto my back. I was amazed by how quickly he could change my position and how good he was at it. Even without his sight, Jason was far more into it than I was. He seemed to know every inch of my body and again, it was a wonder because I knew that he couldn’t see more than shadows.

Every time I doubted how he could do something, he just did it even better and I forgot all of it. I forgot who he was, who I was. I couldn’t think straight at all and each push in was moving me in another direction. He had one thigh cocked up and it hit differently. I came hard and I swear that it was all because he knew everything about me. I didn’t know what he was going off of, but I was so worked up. I really couldn’t help it. Why was he making me feel like everything was going to end now?

I couldn’t hold on any longer and I collapsed against the mattress that welcomed me. Jason just changed how he pushed in, and I was left trying to pull myself together. He was no longer listening to reason; he was on his own journey. I felt his desire sprouting wings before I felt it inside of me. He really did feel amazing, and I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to handle him. I just barely managed to and when he started to shoot himself deep, I felt so full that I could barely keep it all in. He’d stretched me to capacity and before I could do anything more, I was begging him to give it all to me. He made me feel like I was a cat in heat, with that much sense. I didn’t like feeling like I had no control over myself. With him though, I knew I never would.

He laid down next to me, and after a few moments, I eyed him from where he had left me. I was beyond dignity and before I could do much else, I was crawling over to him and sliding on top of his body. He jerked a little. Jason wasn’t prepared for me to get on him. “What are you doing?”

“Riding,” I said simply. He was still partially hard, and he slid right in. I gasped by the quick entrance. I knew that he would start growing, and I was able to finally have something my own way. I put his hands on my hips and clenched him until I heard him moan. “Trust me, Jason, you are going to like it. Lay back and relax.”

He scoffed and groaned as I rotated my hips. He felt so good and so deep, I was going to lose it sooner than I thought, but it didn’t matter. I was in charge now, and I was going to take all that I could. Jason was a great lover, and he was well equipped for the job. I had never felt anything that was better. I wanted more and my movements got faster as we both panted and whimpered with the meeting of our bodies. Jason had tried to slow me down, but there was nothing he could do.

My head went back and I rode him with abandon. I came repeatedly, but every time I thought that I was done, Jason would take over and remind me that I wasn’t. I didn’t know if I could ever get over all of the feelings that Jason stirred up inside of me.

I watched his face as he finally came again, and it was one of the hottest moments of my life. It was like a secret that only I could see. He couldn’t even see the expression that my body gave to him. It was one of the sexiest moments of my life, to know that his desire was all mine. In that moment, I felt like I knew him better than he knew himself.

When I got off of him, he slipped out of me and we both reacted to the change. I was no longer feeling stuffed, but I missed the feeling that he created inside of me. I wanted it back. I already felt empty without him.

14

Jason

Iwould have paid all of my money to see Abigail riding me. I bet it was one of the sexiest things that I would ever see, and I was sad that I wasn’t able to watch her. I knew that it would have been something to see, and I wished that I had.

The sounds that came out of her sent me over the edge much sooner than I would have liked. There was just something about the moment that frustrated me and turned me on to no end. It was like I just had to open my eyes. I had never wanted to so badly before in all of my life. The worse part was that I couldn’t. No matter how badly I wanted to see her, I would never be able to will it so. As a man that had done basically anything I’d ever wanted to do, pushing myself to make it happen, I didn’t like something that I couldn’t handle. No matter what, I was blind and as I finished, that thought riddled my head.

She kissed me and moved off, laying down beside me to catch her breath. I didn’t know what I’d liked better, but I was relaxed in body, even if my mind was going a mile a minute. It wasn’t helpful that I wanted more. I needed a minute. She was there, watching me, and I wanted a minute to myself. Why was it so much more intrusive feeling when I couldn’t confirm my suspicions?

I went to the bathroom and threw water over my face. I went from one extreme to the next, and at the moment, it wasn’t a good feeling coursing through me. It was the realization, again, that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted. I liked to believe that it was the case, but it really wasn’t. The more I tried to figure out what was happening between me and Abigail, the more of my own shit that came to the surface. She made me feel again, something that I hadn’t done since the accident, and now I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to put the two of me together. If I felt for Abigail, then I had to feel for the dead friends and all the other losses that I’d had to endure. Losing my sight felt like the worst one at the moment. How could I love a woman and never be able to see what she looked like? It felt like a cruel joke more than anything else.

When I came out, I felt better, but I’d made a decision that I didn’t think I would ever make. Right after it had happened, there was talk from doctors of a miracle surgery that they wanted to try on me. I was in a bad place and didn’t want to try to get better then, so I refused them. Maybe it would be an offer that I could revisit. If there was a chance that I could see Abigail, I would be willing to take it.

Abigail asked me if I needed anything. She didn’t ask me if I was okay, but I knew that to be what she wanted to know. We should have been cuddling, I should have had her in my arms, but instead I had run off. Of course, she was feeling out of it. I had left her wondering and I apologized for leaving. I waved it off like it was just nature calling that took me from her. I think we both knew that it wasn’t the case, but she didn’t call me out on it, and I didn’t volunteer any information.

I laid down with her. At least when I was there in bed with her, I felt like normal. I could pretend that I was just there enjoying being with her, and I was laying there with my eyes closed. She didn’t need to know that I was seconds from losing it all. I wanted to see her, know who it was that I’d just made love to, but that wasn’t possible. I should have moved on, been happy with the perfect moment, following the awesome time that we’d had together. I tried my best not to worry about any of it, but it really was impossible.

Abigail moved over to lying on my chest, and it really did seem like a normal moment. I felt like it was right and before I could focus on it too much, Abigail shifted and asked me to give it to her finally.

“What?”

She sighed. “You know what.”

I made a sighing sound as well. I knew what she wanted. “You don’t have to know it,” I told her.

“No, but I have to know it if I want to know you.”

Those words played with my mind. Why? Why did I love the way that sounded so much? I was trying to find fault in any of it, but it really was impossible. Abigail was everything that I needed and more. She was the light at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t know if it was for a reason or not, but it felt like I was never going to be able to deal with how it all went. I tried to think of something to say that wasn’t the dumpster fire that was my life, but nothing came out. How could I sugar coat it?

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