Page 2 of Deep Connection

I nodded my head. “Yeah, I can see that.”

Abigail said something, like most people can’t, but I knew when I heard her unit, that she had been through a lot. Everyone had heard about the attack and the death of six of the most highly trained soldiers in the world. They were just in the wrong place at the wrong time, a little girl and sympathy killed them all. Abigail was the one that had made that call, which I could tell at once haunted her. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t going to be able to forget that I didn’t want to.

I didn’t know why, but knowing who she was so quickly, I felt more relaxed than I had anticipated. I hadn’t even wanted to go to physical therapy, even if I knew that I was supposed to. Now though I figured that it could be something that wasn’t so bad. I hoped that it would be, but I wasn’t sure. Abigail made me think that maybe it could be something better than I’d imagined. How much better though?

That thought made me feel the slight sting of bitterness. It wasn’t going to be fun like that. She was interested at first, even with the few scars on my face, but when she’d found out that I was blind, that had killed the attraction. I’d heard the change in her tone. What was I thinking? Here I was trying to bring us together like it was a choice, but I should have known better. The grim reality of my life was brought back into focus and like always, it was hard to see.

We got down to business and since Abigail had given me an answer to my questions, I did the same for her. I’d answered them all before, but she was different, and I tried my best to hold in my desire to tell her that I didn’t care about any of it.

“What would you like to accomplish with your visits here?”

I scoffed, unable to hold back the bitterness. When she switched it up to future talk, it was the end of the road for me. What kind of future was I going to have? Did she not see that my leg was jacked up, the whole left side really, and I was blind? What sort of future was I going to have with all of that going on? It really made no sense to even have the conversation. I didn’t have a nice answer, couldn’t even come up with one, so I just told the truth, something I’d learned wasn’t always a good thing. “Well, my doctor won’t give me the pain meds I need, until I try this out too.”

“Okay.”

I could tell she wasn’t happy with the answer. I wished that I could take it back, say something else, but what else was there to say? Maybe I just wanted her to know that at the end of the day, I didn’t want to be here. I think my point was made, so why was I annoyed that it had been? Why did I want to take it back and explain that I was happier now that it was her, someone that would understand that life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows? It was comforting to be around someone that had been in the dark, just like me, even if it was in a different way. I could sense a kindred spirit in her, and it relaxed me in a way.

“Well, if that is what we are working for, Jason, then let’s get you the pills you need. I hope that you will see that there is a lot more benefits to this, but you will feel them over time, whether you want to or not.”

I scoffed, not too enthused with how she seemed to like messing with me. I didn’t want her to see that I was so smitten with her. I didn’t know her, had never met her, but there was just something about her. The more I tried to figure out what it was about her that drove me wild, the more I realized I wasn’t supposed to know. Let her have her mystery. I was certainly in the mood for it.

She asked me how she should help me, and I told her that sound worked best. I could see some shadows and I could see where she was. The cane I held made sure that I didn’t run into anything, so when I moved toward her, she was surprised.

“Okay, good. You haven’t been blind long, so I wasn’t sure how well you would be able to navigate. You look like a pro already.”

There was excitement in her voice, and I didn’t like her acting like it was a big deal or something. I was so embarrassed by all of it. Why did it feel like she didn’t understand what I wanted at all? The therapist was treating me like a kid, not a man that desired her or as an equal.

We worked out for a while. Abigail’s smell and close proximity was hard for me to handle. It was all innocent, she was just helping me, but since my sight was gone, my other senses were compensating. That meant that she smelled amazing, and I could gobble her up right then and there. Abigail didn’t know how I felt, and I knew that I had to keep it that way. She would not appreciate my desires most likely.

I had to put a hold to the therapy. I was worked up and likely rock hard. I couldn’t check to see how it looked, but I knew how ready my body was. I didn’t want to scare her or anything, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, before she noticed that I was solid as a rock for her.

I got out of there as quickly as I could. She described where the bathroom was and asked if I needed help. I had practically shouted that I didn’t need her help, and she had hesitated but insisted that she was there if needed. I thanked her and ran away, well ran as fast as a blind man could run. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but I hadn’t felt anything for anyone in a long time since the accident. Why now? Why her?

3

Abigail

When Jason left the office, I didn’t know how I felt about it all. He was handsome, a bit rude, but he had a great sense of humor that helped smooth it all over. He was blind, something I hadn’t noticed at first, but it was surprising to know that, considering how well he moved around. I never would have thought that he was so disabled, if I would have met him without seeing his charts.

After he left, I looked at his charts a bit better and realized that there wasn’t enough information on him. Sometimes, the patient didn’t fill out the questionnaire, but I didn’t think this was it. I think that he ignored it on purpose. There was something about Jason that pulled me in, and it wasn’t just the square jaw and immaculate body. Jason was hard and muscular in all the right places. I literally couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but I was ready to find out.

Dana came in after a few minutes to rush me along. She likely didn’t know that I was still thinking about Jason. He was too cute not to think about it more and before I could say anything, Dana asked about him.

“He was actually a bit snarky, but nice. I think he is a grump by second nature. He was grumpy at first but pulled it together pretty quickly. He was nice once we talked for a minute. He has a long way to go, but he has already taken on so many other challenges, I am sure he will do just fine here. We will get him all fixed up as well as we can.”

Dana said that she was happy about it, but then I noticed the pink in her cheeks, and I asked her if she was okay. I hadn’t seen her like that before, not that I could think of.

“I mean, I was just wondering if he is single. The chart doesn’t say, so I was just wondering if he was married or not. Did you notice a ring?” Dana asked with hope in her heart. I didn’t want to tell her that I hadn’t noticed. When Jason was towering over me, there was no way that I was going to be thinking about much of anything, definitely not if he had a ring on. Sadly, I was ashamed to admit to myself that all I did was gawk at him most of the time. It was made worse with the fact that I knew he couldn’t see me. It didn’t make it worse, just made it easier.

“I wonder if he is.”

I told her that I doubted he was married, he didn’t seem like the type. He was too grouchy to be with someone. Not because he couldn’t find someone, of course, but because he didn’t want a woman holding him back likely. He was the one in charge and if he was single, it was because he didn’t want a girlfriend.

“He is blind, you know that right?”

Dana agreed that she knew and that she didn’t care. I couldn’t blame her, he was that good looking, but I wondered if she would have felt the same way, if she had met him. I had a feeling that she would. I know that I still did.

“He is going to be here a lot, so I am sure that I will find out. I can’t wait until he comes in Thursday.”

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