Page 21 of Deep Connection

“I am right here.” I took the coffee from her hand, and she pointed to the one that was mine. It was perfect, of course. I asked her what she was doing here, and she wanted to know again where I had been.

“Early morning drive?”

Dana shook her head and let me know that I wasn’t going to get off with such a poor excuse as a drive. She knew that I had no reason to drive, maybe run. I was out of it, the night had been long and interesting. I was trying my best to prepare for the questions that happened next, but there was nothing that I could do to prepare me for Dana’s special style of bluntness. “It was Jason, wasn’t it? You guys are having sleepovers now?”

I agreed that it was Jason. I wasn’t going to pretend like Dana didn’t know exactly what was going on. She wasn’t dumb and she had known me for a long time. She knew that I really liked him, and there was no other reason for me to be out and about at this time in the morning, not in my car.

“I knew it.”

I nodded, unlocking the door and letting us both in. She was going to gloat for a few minutes, and I was just going to go with it. She didn’t need to see how bothered I was by Jason, how I thought that I was already head over heels in love with him.

“Yeah, you were right.” I wasn’t feeling bad about it at all. I didn’t mind being wrong, if Jason was who I got on the other side of it. If he was the prize, I couldn’t help but think that he was worth it.

Dana asked me what I was doing today, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. What are you doing?”

She said that we were going shopping and since I had a new beau, I should get something pretty and sexy to see him in next. I was planning to see him tonight and damn it, I really would like to surprise him.

“He won’t even see it,” I complained after a moment.

“He will feel it when he takes it off of you. I think that Jason would find a way to appreciate something.”

I knew that she was right. He was far more in tuned to everything that was going on than you would think because of his blindness. I didn’t know what to think of what came next with us. I had to hope that something would come of us. I didn’t know what kind of future we could have together, but I quickly decided that I would rather have him in any way, than to not have him at all. It was a revelation that was quite alarming this early into a relationship.

I tried to get the conversation on something else, but she wasn’t budging. So, I gave her a bit more than she could handle. Jason was an excellent lover, so talking about that was not only easy, but it was also a better idea than talking about feelings. Sex and orgasms were not as private and personal as the rest of it was.

“Seriously now, does he have any friends?”

I laughed at Dana’s joke, but I recognized that it wasn’t really said to be funny. She meant it and I told her that I would look into it. “No, you won’t. You will forget all about me, and hell, I won’t blame you for it.”

I told her that I would never forget her, but she just shook her head. “After what you just told me about Jason, I can’t believe you are not with him right now.”

I looked down. She had no idea how badly I wanted to be there this instance. It was better to keep that part to myself.

I was getting ready to go see Jason. We had planned that morning to meet up in the afternoon, so when it got later, I started to get ready. I was antsy because I knew what was likely going to happen. I wanted it to happen, of course. I wanted him to make me feel the way he had before. No matter how much I wanted him though, I still had this part of me that paused. He had a lot to handle, and I knew that once I was in his arms, I was basically giving up control of everything. He would have control of my body for sure, but also my mind as well. It was a total give in to him and that was really hard to work with. I knew that there was something going on between us, but damn if I knew what. While I told myself to just enjoy it, my woman brain wanted names and boxes to put us in.

My phone beeped and since I was in the middle of blow drying my hair, I ignored the sound. I put my makeup on meticulously, even if he couldn’t see me. I did everything so that I would be perfect. I knew that I would feel like I was on a whole other level and that was what I needed. It was hard to keep my excitement in. I knew that no matter what, I was going to get to see Jason, so everything else would be worth it. Seeing Jason, he made my day, and I wasn’t going to pretend otherwise.

I picked up my phone that was still beeping on occasion to tell me I had a message. I frowned when I saw that it was from Jason. He wouldn’t be calling me, unless there was some kind of bad news that I needed to know about. It wasn’t a good feeling and when I opened up the message and it said that he wasn’t feeling good and that he was calling it off, I knew why. It wasn’t that I thought he was lying, but I thought he was doing something that was off. I tried to call him, but he wouldn’t answer his phone.

Since I was already dressed and couldn’t imagine not seeing him, I decided that I wasn’t going to listen to any of it. I needed to see Jason and there was nothing that was going to stop me. Instead of trying to be all sexy though, I wanted to show the caring side of myself. I got him some soup and drinks so he would feel better. I got everything that I thought he would want or need. I was in a weird spot with how to handle it, but I wasn’t going to let it get to me too much. I was focused and Jason was a great guy. He would see that I was doing all of this for him. I hoped that he wouldn’t be mad that I was disregarding his message. I just wanted to help, and my love language was service…

18

Jason

My visit with the doctor was not exactly what I was looking for. I thought that it was going to go pretty well. I would get some information and maybe I would make an appointment to change my life. It was a lot to think about, but then it all went sideways.

Dr. Griffin was the sort of guy that wasn’t about to wait around. He wanted me to know that everything was going to be perfect, he was going to take good care of me, but there were many reasons for me to pause. There was just something about the good doctor that threw me off. I didn’t know what it was about him, but I had a feeling that I was going to have to go with his eccentric personality. I just didn’t realize that he would want to do testing and start into the therapy that he wanted to do right away.

The “therapy” or at least that was what he called it, was some needles in my eyes, literally, and some kind of burning solution that was going to eat away the dead parts of my eye so that I would be able to see again. That or total replacement with some sketchy new eyes that I had no idea where they came from. I was skeptical, of course, and the liquid burned like no one’s business, but I was so sure that things were going to be okay. I had faith that he was going to help me or at least I had to hold onto it. I couldn’t help hoping. I was sure that all I had to do was work with it and it would soon be exactly what I thought it was.

The problem was that I had a date with Abigail, but I was feeling like all hell was breaking loose inside of my body. I didn’t know what he had given me, what was in the shots, but my eyes burned like there was no tomorrow. It wasn’t just that, but I was feeling off in more ways. I wanted to be alone to lick my wounds and wonder if I was ever going to get better. I wasn’t sure if I would or not. I was afraid that I wouldn’t.

When I heard the doorbell, I cursed at the sound because I was sure that it was going to be Kyle coming over. I told him that I wasn’t in the mood for company, but sometimes he would take it as a challenge or a “cry for help” as he described it. It wasn’t that at all. I wished that I could tell him that, but he didn’t listen. I cursed him out loud as I opened the door. I was so sure that it was going to be Kyle. When I heard Abigail’s voice, I wondered what she was doing here. She didn’t listen very well. I told her that I wasn’t going to be able to do anything tonight, yet there she was, smelling good and likely dressed for the occasion. Damn it.

“What happened to you, Jason!?”

Before I could get anything out, Abigail had my face in her hand, and she was trying to figure out why it was all red. I wanted to know why it hurt, yet I doubted I was going to get an answer for it. I was just lucky for a chance of being healed. That wasn’t something to explain out loud.

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