Page 26 of Deep Connection

There was silence and then Abigail wanted to know if I was for real. “We barely know each other, Abigail. You are acting like I told you I loved you back. If you remember, I never did. I don’t feel that way. You need to go. It was just a booty call. There is nothing else between us, so please go. You are just causing me trouble. That’s all you’re doing.”

I waited for her answer, but then she hung up. I didn’t know what she was thinking, but she wasn’t going to go home. I felt like it went the way that I wanted it to go, and it made me ill. I reminded myself that I had no choice, but it didn’t help with the guilt. None of this was what I wanted, but if I could get it done and over with faster, that was the only good thing on the horizon in my opinion.

I handed the phone back to the doctor and I saw him put something into my IV. It wasn’t clear what he was doing, but the more I tried to focus on it, the worse it was. I got shaky and I heard him say something, my name perhaps. I was already out of it when I looked up toward the lights. Whatever he was doing to me, I wasn’t going to be able to fight it. Now, I was all alone. No one was going to come and save me.

I woke up a while later groggy. I was still having the conversation with the doctor in my mind. I knew that something had happened. I felt different. I felt like I had just woken up from a long sleep and that meant I had been put out. Again, I had had so many experiences with being put to sleep, I knew the signs. I knew that, unfortunately, I’d been put to sleep for some time. It wasn’t a good feeling at all.

There was a strange notion that came over me and once it hit me, I finally did something that I never thought was going to make a difference again. I wasn’t going to believe that anything was the problem. This was all just showing me how it was going to go. All of my time felt like practice, but I had no idea what I was practicing for.

My eyes opened and I was able to see. It was blurry at first, clearing up as I blinked and time lapsed. I didn’t move, didn’t do anything except look around, enjoying the art of seeing after so long. This was better than I could have imagined. That’s what there was to say to all of it. I couldn’t believe that I was trying so hard to not let it happen.

The place was as dark and dank as I knew it to be. I hadn’t seen the concrete block style walls that were painted white, now dirty gray color, but I had known that they were there. Not only was this place an old building, but I would almost bet that I was underground as well.

“Can you see me?” my doctor asked with concern and excitement. The doctor’s voice brought me back to reality. I could see that he was nervous, and I wondered why that was. It had been a success, so he should have made it easier to deal with. I felt horrible, so why wasn’t this as easy as I suspected? He should be gloating, but he had a contemplative look on his face. It was the sort that made me cold inside. Why did it feel like nothing I said or did was going to fix this? I was worried that I had messed it all up, again. I was starting to understand that no matter what, I was going to have to figure something out. I had to get out of here.

“What?”

“Can you see?” Dr. Griffin asked louder than before, like now all of a sudden, my ears weren’t working. Then, I looked right at him and flipped him off. It wasn’t the best thing I had done, but all I could muster in the current mood. I should have been accommodating. I would have likely gotten more answers and maybe some moment to fix it all. I had so many ideas of how it was supposed to go. There was nothing I could do to feel better about any of it. I knew that no matter what, there was going to be a moment when I got to get out of here. It was fast approaching, and I needed to be ready.

“I see you have kept your sarcasm, good. I fear you are going to need that.”

“What did you do?”

The doctor sighed. “I saved your sight, did the impossible. Isn’t that enough?”

It was, but if not for the way he was looking at me. Why was I getting this sap look that I got right now? It didn’t make sense. I wanted to see what was going on, but I had no real clue. I was so lost. “What has happened?”

“Your little girlfriend didn’t listen. She brought the police with her, and we had to take care of business. I never meant for anything to happen, but you know how things go. You were in the military; you know what happens when people aren’t where they are supposed to be.”

“What happened to her?” I started to ask as I got up. I couldn’t believe what was being said to me. I wanted to hear it, while I looked him up and down. I wanted to get the truth out of him. I was debating if I was going to kill him or not.

I was sure that there wasn’t much more that I could do. I was stuck wherever I was for the moment, but I could see, and I would be able to fix this soon enough. I just had to get these people to keep the drugs out of my system.

“She was hurt, but I lost track of how she is doing. She isn’t my patient you see.” Why did I worry so much that he was trying to make a reasonable case for what he had done to her, to me? What had happened to Abigail?

“Tell me what is going on!” I demanded. He just scoffed at me like I was an impetuous child. I didn’t know what he had in his mind, but it wasn’t long at all before something inside of me broke. He just shushed me and said that he would put me further away if I was going to yell. Since I was tied down this time around, for the moment, I was going to have to listen to this crazy man. He had gotten his way, I could see. Why wasn’t I happier about it? Not knowing what had happened to Abigail was a hard one to swallow. It was hard for me to focus on much of anything else.

Dr. Griffin left and I was left to contemplate what came next. While he might have thought that I was going to stay here and take what was given to me, I’d never really been that way. I didn’t know what was going to happen next, but I was eager to find out. Whatever came next, I swore to myself that the doctor was going to pay for what he had done to me, one way or another.

22

Abigail

When I woke up from the fall, I didn’t know where I was. The fluorescent above me was flickering, but then it stayed on. I heard voices in the hallway and that relieved me. This was a normal hospital, not like the place that they had dragged Jason to.

I didn’t know if I was ever going to see Jason again and it felt like it was all my fault. Why had I let that get to me so badly? He said that he didn’t want to have anything to do with me, I’d heard him say it, but there was another part of me that tried my best to fix it. I wanted to save him, like he had saved me.

“Good, you’re up. Do you know your name?”

I told the kind nurse my name, croaked it out, and after some time and fluids, I was able to answer questions. I was also able to get some answers as well, though none of the facts that I’d learned meant anything to me. I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know if I ever would, but Kara helped me some. She told me everything that she knew, which wasn’t very much.

“You were found and brought here. I was hoping that you’d have some answers to what happened to you. I know that the police were interested.”

I looked to the nurse, Kara her name was, short hair and clear blue eyes that felt like no nonsense. It was hard to focus when she was staring me down. What was I supposed to do? I’d never been a good liar. It was easier to act like I had no idea what she was talking about. I was still trying to figure it out for myself first.

“Well, you take your time. You’ve been through a lot. You and your baby are going to be okay.” The woman patted me on the hand as she was leaving.

She got up and left me cold to the touch. What did she say? Baby? What?

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