Page 3 of Deep Connection

I just nodded again, not sure what to say. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything, but, of course, that was impossible to stop. Dana was young, single, she had a nice demeanor, and I really liked her. I wanted her to be happy, but not with Jason. I wanted him, that grumpy wit, I liked that. It was rare to get someone that would say much more than what was necessary. I liked Jason, but I wasn’t looking, and I wasn’t looking for such a commitment.

Why then, was it so hard for me to think of Dana with him? Why did I hate the feeling of it so much? It was the sort of thing that I was supposed to help her with. I shouldn’t be feeling the way that I was. I wasn’t happy at the idea of it at all. I wanted her to see that he was off limits. I wanted him, but I wasn’t going to do anything about it. It was a pure waste to try and dissuade her from trying to date him. I didn’t know how it would work out for her, but she should try it. I thought about it for a second. I would likely just ignore the conversation and hope that she wouldn’t bring it up again. For some reason, I couldn’t find myself saying the encouragement out loud that I knew she wanted to hear. It was very selfish of me not to give it to her.

We talked about the next client, and I did my best to skirt any more questions about Jason. I thought about him the rest of the day, but I wasn’t going to let Dana talk about him more. She tried to later in the afternoon, but I pretended that I couldn’t hear her. I think she knew that I was trying to avoid it, and she finally stopped asking about him. I didn’t know what it was about Jason, but he was too magnetic and made me think too many things.

I tried to keep him off of my mind, but as soon as Thursday rolled around, I was there early in anticipation of him coming. I didn’t know what we were going to say to each other, but I knew it was going to be something. I was getting all excited, and for what?

Dana came in a few minutes before we opened, ten minutes early for her, and I saw the sly look on her face. It wasn’t hard to see what it was she was there for. Or rather I should say who. “Fancy seeing you here this early, Dana,” I said with a smirk.

She gave me this look that tried to be innocent but didn’t quite make it. I could see that she was trying her best to focus on anything but why she was there. It was hard for her to focus; I could see that, and I finally asked her how she had finally managed to get here on time.

“You know, traffic wasn’t too bad.”

I scoffed in response because I knew that she wasn’t driving far enough for the traffic to affect her. She was early because of Jason and for some reason, I wanted her to admit to it. There really wasn’t a reason for her to do it, it wasn’t going to accomplish anything, but there was nothing else that I could do about it.

“I mean, I figured that it was going to be a busy day, and I wanted to make sure that you had all the help that you were going to need.”

“Uh huh. I just figured that you knew that Jason guy was going to be in, and you wanted to prance around. Don’t think that I can’t smell that perfume and I see the way you are dressed. You know he can’t see, right?”

Her smile fell for a minute, and I was actually sad that I had said anything at all. It wasn’t like there was anything else that could be done, but I was sure that she would have luck if she tried. Dana was small and petite, with black hair and devastatingly blue eyes. She made me feel plain, my brown hair too drab, and I was tall and awkward next to her small form. We were different in many ways, so I knew that most men went for women like her. I was not what most men looked for. I was too curvy, too tall. Basically, I wasn’t the size of Polly Pocket like Dana.

The doorbell rang and we both looked toward the door. I didn’t want to feel like there was a competition for this guy’s attention, but damned if that wasn’t exactly how I felt. When he walked in, my heart started to race in my chest, and I started to move toward him. I was stuck in the moment, and I had no idea what to say.

“Hello?”

It took me a minute to realize that Jason was still blind, and I had to say something. I wanted to make it all better, me and him somehow, but I was in the middle of trying to figure out what came next.

“Sorry, Jason, please come on in. Would you like some help?”

He bristled at the suggestion, and I looked to Dana with a smile, like “told you”. Next, I watched her move toward him and slide her hand into his arm. “You sure you wouldn’t mind giving me a little help?”

Her voice was sugar sweet and while I could see right through her ploy, Jason didn’t seem to at all, and he smiled in a good-natured way. I was so green with envy that I could just throw up. Why didn’t I ever get the guy? This one I really wanted.

4

Jason

As soon as I got through the door, the smell of a very strong perfume knocked me back out of it. I had to take a moment to orient myself and whether I could see much or not, my eyes started to water. It was just so strong, and I knew that it wasn’t Abigail. She wore it light and delicate. I hadn’t even been able to smell her, until she was right next to me. I knew then that I was going to do whatever I could to get that close again. I wouldn’t be able to smell anything though, not with the strong scent drowning her out.

It was clear that the small woman with the sickly-sweet voice was wearing the perfume. She kept talking about how it was good to see me again. She was flirting, but I wasn’t here for that. Even if I was, it wouldn’t be to flirt with her. I could tell just by the way she talked and the amount of perfume that she put on, that we weren’t compatible. Now that I wasn’t all about a woman’s looks, it was other criteria that I had now, and Dana was not it.

“Are you sure that I can’t walk you in?”

“No, thank you so much for your help though,” I said politely as I extricated myself from the woman. I hadn’t heard Abigail yet and when I did, I felt relief. She called to me from down the hallway that I’d gone down before.

“It’s the same room as last time.” Abigail tapped on the door. “I will be right with you, okay?”

From the sound I was able to find it pretty quickly. She said she was going to be right back, so I wasn’t nervous for anything. It was all so casual, and I wished that other places would see that it didn’t have to be that different than it is.

The woman with the perfume that introduced herself as Dana left and I was grateful that after I was in the room, I could smell other things. I really worried that I would mess up somehow with Abigail. I was told on many occasions that I could be an asshole, and it was worse since I’d gotten back apparently. I didn’t want to push her away, not when I’d just found her and I for once, could just be attracted to a voice, a smell, and a demeanor.

When she came back in, I turned toward the door and asked her how her day had been. “How do you know it’s me?” Abigail wanted to know. I told her that she had a distinct smell, and she made a disparaging sound. Apparently, that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “You also have an air about you.”

She asked me what that meant. “You know, you come into the room in a rush, stirring the air around and it changes the room.”

“You can tell because I stir up the air?” she asked, astonished.

“That and the perfume you wear. It is very nice. Your coworker’s is a lot stronger.”

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