Page 50 of Under Ground

She holds her arms in the air. “Yay!”

* * *

After pizza and some time together, Casey falls asleep while I read to her.

I lean over and place a kiss on her temple.

She’s what’s important here—I can’t lose focus on that even if my heart wants me to.

I let out a sigh and walk into the living room, running my fingers through my hair.

Alex looks up. I open my mouth to say something just as he speaks up.

He’s on the phone.

I sit beside him and he takes my hand in his, squeezing it tight.

“Okay. I’ll talk to Lana and let you know. Thanks for that.”

He disconnects the call and drops his phone on the coffee table. “That was Charlie. My agent. I thought I’d call him back tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow.”

“What did he say?”

He draws in a deep breath. “Well, the news of my casting is about to drop. He can ask for it to be delayed, but it might already be too late.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“And he’s sorry about what’s happened. We can get security if you want it.”

“Security?”

“For you and Casey.”

I blink rapidly, trying to process what he’s just said. “That’s a bit over the top, isn’t it?”

“Just to make sure you’re safe.”

“I … I don’t know.”

He places a kiss on my hand. “You don’t have to make up your mind right now. I think you should use the car instead of walking in the meantime. And we’ll stay in instead of going anywhere.”

I swallow hard. “That works for me.”

“We can get through this, babe. This is all new to me too. I’ve had media stories written about me, but nothing like this before.”

I close my eyes, and he pulls me into his arms. “Why don’t we go to bed and get some sleep before tomorrow. I just want to hold you.”

Nodding, I bury my face in his neck. I just don’t want to think anymore tonight.

* * *

I’m still numb in the morning, dropping Casey off at day care. Using the car surely makes it less likely anyone will take photos of us. Won’t it?

The problem is that I don’t know, and Alex can’t give me any kind of definitive answer. It leaves me conflicted and confused.

I want him. I don’t want all these things that come with him.

But I can’t choose one or the other. It’s all or nothing.

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