Page 62 of Second Song

I don’t have the best track record with that, do I?

Matt would call that PTSD-related bollocks. Would tell it to get in the bin, into the sea, or into the sun. He’d order it to fuck off for me if I’d let him, so I guess we’re both as bad as each other. Or as bossy. For now, I’m too engrossed to give myself that lecture. Like Dom’s daughter, something new holds my attention because Rowan doesn’t only blush. He laughs, and fuck me, I like hearing him this happy, even if it’s due to his mentor’s teasing.

“No, Charles,” he insists, still laughing. “I’m not running another errand for you.”

“Why not?” Charles clicks what I realise are a pair of castanets. He uses them as pincers, pretending to snip at Rowan’s bottom. “All I asked was for you to talk to the bursar. I’ll take your playground duty if you’ll pop around to see him.”

“Around to see him?” Rowan looks up at a window. It overlooks this outdoor classroom and the benches where we all ate hot dogs on Friday. “Don’t you mean up to see him?”

He’s right. The bursar doesn’t only share the headmaster’s study. I’ve been up there on the hunt for plans and seen that they share a desk too. Now the break-time bell rings, and Row’s gaze drops, fixing on something different—or on someone. Teo slopes out of the main school building, going to sit on his own at the same bench we all shared. He isn’t on his own for too long. A redheaded kid joins him.

Charles brings up what Teo now models to his audience of one. He drums on the bench while Charles says, “Around to see Austin. Up to see him. It doesn’t matter as long as you chase up whether he’s found a drumstick budget for us.”

“Because his answer will have changed from yesterday’s no?”

I like that Rowan stands his ground. Got to be honest, his busy timetable means I wondered if his new headmaster was taking advantage. But since last week? I’m pretty sure they all know they’re lucky to have him.

They better keep him when the other teachers get back.

Part of me wants that for him. The rest of me is a contrary fucker, because if Rowan stays…

How the fuck am I gonna stay far enough away that Matt will give up?

Thank fuck Rowan’s oblivious to that question. He’s busy fending off a glitter shaker that Charles next thrusts in his face along with another question. “Then go and ask Austin if we can order some more of these.”

Rowan doesn’t reply. He just points inside where a supply cupboard door stands open. Even I can see pot after pot sparkling on its shelves already, and yet Charles still chivvies him to leave his classroom.

“Go and say hello to him anyway. I’m sure he gets lonely up there.”

“Who, Austin? Maybe that’s because you weren’t joking about him being ferocious. You go up there and ask for money. He scares me.”

I bristle. I can’t help it. It’s the exact same feeling I get whenever he mentions where he ran from. How can two schools be so different?

Charles only chuffs at him. “Austin’s an absolute lamb.”

And that’s who Teo sits with, I realise as I catch up with Dom further along the fence line. Not that Teo sits with a scary bursar. He sits opposite a kid who I last saw in a photo a farmer showed me. His phone had framed this kid holding an armful of woolly trouble. Today he’s empty-handed.

Charles isn’t. I look back to see him shove that glitter shaker at Rowan, then shoo him indoors. I also hear him shout a final instruction. “Go and ask him anyway, but make sure to stretch your legs first. Take the long way around. You know, past the library again?”

This must be the reason for the number of times Rowan has passed a site I’m in no hurry to be done with, and that’s what Dom brings up.

“Why the delay?”

“In the final stage of the demolition?”

I look back one last time, no sign of Rowan, which means I itch to jog back to the library to be there when he passes. I aim for professional instead of adolescent, although it’s touch and go for a moment, because this is how I’ve felt since pressing him against a cliff face. Rowan makes me want to keep him safe and kiss him. Makes me want to fight as hard as he did, only for a little more time before I have to leave him.

“I don’t want to rush it.” I give some non-Rowan-related reasons. “The historian suggested there might be more time capsules in the foundation.”

“And?”

“I need to go slow so I don’t wreck them.” I don’t want to wreck this either, whatever it is we’ve started. Me and Rowan, I mean, not me and Dom, even if he is decent to work with. He’s also a teasing wanker.

“So it’s nothing to do with wanting to keep blowing a certain someone’s magic whistle?”

I’d tell him to fuck off, and he’s so easygoing that he’d roll with it. Dom would laugh and move on, only he’s right. Partially, at least.

Rowan is magic to me.

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