Page 63 of Second Song

He’s been that ever since those bruised eyes switched from wide and wary to full of laughter. Him kissing me in an alley was magic as well. Or fearless, considering I’m built like a brick shit house. But that’s what he is—fucking fearless every single time he should be scared witless—which is why this is terrifying.

He’s going to find out I don’t have half his backbone.

That’s why I should march back to my van right now, only I’m not leaving. Not yet. Not after last Friday, and not after Rowan looked at me like I’d unlocked real treasure for him instead of old sheet music. He reacts the same way every single time we’re together.

Walk away from all that?

I can’t, and today Dom’s my witness, following my march into the main school building. He’s my shadow up the stairs where he joins me in the headmaster’s study to hear what I guess comes out sounding a touch desperate.

“I need longer.”

For a second time, I explain what that historian only vaguely suggested but is what I’ve hung my hopes on. “That’s one reason why I don’t want to hurry. Not yet. Because there might be another time capsule further along that foundation.”

Luke Lawson blinks. So does his bursar when Dom’s hand lands on his shoulder. Austin Dymond looks up at his husband and is far from scary. He’s pink with pleasure like in the wedding photo in Dom’s kitchen. He’s also a fair-haired reminder of who might be on his way up here right now to ask for drumstick or glitter money, so I quickly offer a second reason.

“The real demolition will be way noisier than bringing down that stable, and I…” This is true but hard to say to a small boy’s father. “I don’t want to scare your kid any more than I have to.” That’s the stone-cold truth. So is this. “Now I’ve got a better handle on the acoustics, I know it will. You think I’ve been loud so far?” I shake my head. “Bringing down the whole side of this building will sound catastrophic, unless?—”

Luke Lawson stands. He’s silhouetted by the window. I can’t see his expression, but I hear determination. “What’s the other option?”

“The school’s mostly empty during the half-term break?”

“After Friday? Yes, apart from a few staff and some of the boarders.”

And Rowan to keep up the numbers.

“Let me take it down then. When the school is almost empty.” I know they wanted the external work done and dusted this week so as not to impact Dom’s rebuild schedule, one I’ve seen him piece together like a brick-and-mortar jigsaw. “It won’t hold up the rest of the work. Dom’s crew will still be on track to finish the internal work this summer when the school is truly vacant. Me pressing pause this week won’t hold them up. And I won’t be twiddling my thumbs. I’ll bring forward a job I have in Blackpool. Get that finished by Saturday and be back here to work straight through.”

If Luke doesn’t agree, I guess I’ll be done here by Friday, and that’s…

It’s too soon.

I want another week, that’s all. Seven whole days with a reason to still be where Rowan is on duty. Another seven nights where I might get to see him. Make him laugh, or hear him sing one more time, if I’m lucky.

All of that means this comes out bleaker than I anticipated. “And there’s one other thing I want to do before leaving.”

“Hold on.” Luke is still silhouetted so I still can’t read his expression. “Dom?” he asks, sounding neutral. No, not neutral. He’s careful. “How about you and I talk through the schedule later?”

Dom nods, but not before sharing a smile that’s ninety percent wince with me. He also leaves us, his steel toe-capped footsteps clumping all the way down the stairs over a tide of white noise I’m not sure is tinnitus or panic that washes back even louder when Luke turns away from me.

His move seems like a voiceless order—a clear, if silent, command stating this conversation is over.

I can’t let it end. Not yet.

“Uh…” I don’t actually have words for this request. How he runs his school is none of my business, but I’ve seen how Rowan is around him. Yeah, he freezes at first, but I’ve never noticed a goose-bump reaction, and Rowan melts so quickly for Luke Lawson. Plus, it isn’t only me working against a clock that won’t quit ticking down to zero, is it?

That means I force out what I want the most for him.

“Your other teachers will be back sometime in the half-term break right, the ones that Rowan’s covering for? You won’t need him once they’re back, will you?”

Luke Lawson is still silent, still facing away, so I try harder.

“Please, can’t you find a way to keep him?”

25

LIAM

Luke looks over his shoulder at me. His answer isn’t what I expect. He almost whispers, “Come here,” so I join him where sunlight streams in through his open window. “Look,” he says next.