Page 42 of Burning Up

When their shift ended the next morning, Bryce, Matt, and Toby headed to the parking lot together. They had all spent the night at Bryce’s house, but Matt and Toby drove in together in Toby’s truck. The other firefighters might assume they’d decided to carpool, but too many oddities, even if each was explainable, might raise suspicions.

“So what happened?” Matt asked as they stood by Toby’s truck.

Bryce blew out a long breath. “I’ll follow you home and tell you there.”

Toby opened his door and hopped into the driver’s seat. “Let’s get going, then.”

But Matt stayed where he was. “Why our place? Don’t we need to let Rollo out?”

“I need to get some sleep before my shift at Nathan’s, so I thought we could talk there and then I’ll head home on my own.” And I might be about to break up with you, and I don’t want to have to kick you out of my house.

Bryce ran scenarios through his head as he drove. He’d tell them what happened first, that was the easy part, embarrassing but easy. After that, what could he say? That he couldn’t do this anymore, couldn’t hide? But honestly, even if they stopped seeing each other, they would still be compromised on the job. They had no business being in the same unit. He wasn’t going to stop caring for them, and if he broke it off, there would be a hell of a lot of anger mixed into the strong feelings they already had. A very dangerous mix to bring into the field.

Fuck! This situation sucked. Why had he listened to his dick instead of his brain? That ain’t got nothin’ to do with what your dick wants. Gray’s words echoed in his mind. He didn’t want Gray to be right, but he was. Bryce was listening to his heart, and it was even harder to deny than his dick. Fuck, did that make him old? He’d never been this mushy gushy before, but leaving Matt and Toby wouldn’t just be about giving up the great sex. Bryce could get laid easily enough. He could even find someone who’d be a match for what he needed if he put a little effort into it. But to find someone else who made him feel the way he did with Matt and Toby, to find someone he wanted to spend all his free time with, someone he wanted to snuggle up with, that wasn’t going to happen.

He’d spent too much time working during his first years at AFRD to have time for more than casual hookups. Eventually, he’d managed a few short relationships. Maybe that was all he was meant to have. If someone had told him a year ago that he was going to fall for someone, much less two someones, he would’ve run as fast as he could. But he wasn’t afraid of commitment now. He wanted to make it work, but they’d only been together for about six weeks. Was he really going to expect them to turn a short fling into a long-term commitment? He needed to think about what was best for Matt and Toby.

He parked behind Toby when he reached their apartment. His hands shook as he stepped out of his SUV. This wasn’t going to go well, because he was going to do the right thing and let them go. How had he let himself get to this point?

It’s called love, you asshole.

No, it’s called fucking up.

You’re so going to regret this.

I already do.

He forced himself to put one foot in front of the other. He could do this. He could go into their apartment and tell them things were over. A few steps from the door, he stopped, afraid he was about to lose the eggs and toast he’d wolfed down at the station. When he had his stomach under control, he stepped inside, not bothering to knock. They were long past that. “Hey!”

“We’re in the kitchen,” Matt called.

Despite the early hour, he longed to ask for a drink to fortify him for what he had to do.

“You look like hell!” Toby observed. “What happened?”

“I almost got us all caught. That’s what.” The words came out angry, though Bryce hadn’t meant them to. “Sorry.” He raked a hand through his hair.

Toby moved toward him, but Bryce backed away. If Toby touched him, he’d lose his resolve, and they’d probably all end up in bed.

“Matt walked out of the shower yesterday afternoon, and I couldn’t stop staring. I meant to send him a text telling him what I had planned for tonight.” Bryce paused, trying to pull his thoughts together and make himself go on.

Toby nodded, encouraging him. “And…”

“I sent it to WT.”

“I figured that much out. What did he say?”

“He didn’t connect it with either of you. Figured it was for some guy I’m seeing, someone random. But what if he’d been in the locker room too or he’d already had suspicions?”

“How the hell does he not?” Matt asked, the words bitter. “We suck at hiding it.”

“You didn’t use to,” Bryce said. “It’s me.”

“No, it’s all of us,” Matt insisted.

“This isn’t working,” Bryce said.

The color drained from Toby’s face. “Is it because we waited? Because we wouldn’t talk about outing ourselves? We put too much pressure on you, and now?—”

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