Page 40 of Play For Keeps

Jake flinches and squeezes my hand a little tighter but doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t need to… the look on his face tells me everything. His jaw is clenched, his dark eyes look thunderous.

I sigh. “Anyways, eight months later my whole life changed when I found out I was pregnant with Birdie. I remember just staring at the test in shock. And I was worried about how Grant would react, but when I told him he said that we should get married and raise our baby together. Honestly, I was relieved. We were young and I was so scared, I didn’t see how I could raise a child on my own. So, getting married seemed like the best option I had. And back then, I didn’t know the real Grant.”

Jake’s eyes haven’t left mine. He holds my hand and listens to every word. I can tell that he’s angry, but I also see the care and compassion in his expression when he looks at me. I wish I’d found a man like Jake when I was in my twenties. The kind of man who would make a great husband and father. The total opposite of the man I ended up marrying.

I draw in a shaky breath. “I never should have married him. Looking back, I know that I was never in love with Grant. I stayed for Birdie.”

My confession hangs between us. “You never loved him?” Jake asks me. “Even before you married him?”

“No, not even then.”

“Fuck,” he mutters. “I’m sorry.”

“It gets worse.” A sick feeling swirls in my stomach. “I was a newlywed and expecting my first baby. It should have been a really happy and exciting time, but they ended up being some of the hardest days of my life.”

Jake’s jaw tenses again, a muscle pulsing right below his ear. I’ve never seen him look this angry.

“We hid it from everyone until about halfway through the pregnancy, Grant kept coming up with excuses not to share the news. When we finally did tell his parents, it was a disaster. You’d think they would be excited to have a grandchild on the way, but they weren’t. They accused me of getting pregnant on purpose to try to trap him. I was so humiliated.”

I suddenly feel the urge to cry pricking at my throat. Even after all these years, it still hurts me to think back to that time in my life. Jake runs his thumb along the top of my hand, soothing me, giving me the courage to keep going. I inhale then exhale a long breath.

“I caught him with another woman two weeks before I had Birdie. I think deep down I knew it was happening for a while but seeing it with my own eyes destroyed me.”

Jake squeezes my hand, catching my gaze. “He’s an asshole, Ev. He never deserved you. You know that right?”

“I do now, yeah. But I didn’t at the time. I was nine months pregnant and as big as a house, my new in-laws were still accusing me of all kinds of awful things and my husband was cheating on me. My confidence was at an all-time low.”

“But then I had Birdie and Grant promised to change. He promised he would be a better husband and a good dad. And things got better for a little while. Right from the start, I loved being Birdie’s mom. And Grant was around more. It felt like we were a family, and I thought maybe it could work. But it didn’t last. By the time her first birthday rolled around, things were getting worse again. He was always working late, finding excuses not to be home. He was cold to me, and I was worried he was cheating again, but when I would ask him about it, he’d lose it.” I sigh. “I finally had enough one night, years later, and brought up a divorce when a high fever sent Birdie to the hospital, and I couldn’t get a hold of him. He wasn’t responding to my calls or texts, and it pissed me off. She was never a priority in his life. Later, I found out there were four other women over the course of our marriage. I’m pretty sure there were probably more.”

Jake’s expression furrows, and he drags his free hand over his jaw. “I can’t believe what he has put you through.”

“We divorced soon after that, but to make the transition easier on Birdie, we never moved out, Birdie and I just moved to a separate wing in the house.”

I married a man who didn’t care enough to be faithful to me. That fact used to sting. Now that we’re divorced, it’s just… regret. Grant and I were never destined for forever, but despite everything, I don’t regret a thing. Because without Grant, I’d never have Birdie.

Birdie is still too young to see the truth about her father. For now, I do my best to protect her, to make excuses for why Grant isn’t around, but one day she’s going to realize that he is an absent father and she’ll have to carry the weight of that. Until then, all I can do is love her enough for the both of us.

“Why did you finally decide to leave?” Jake asks quietly.

I shrug. “I just reached the point where I’d finally had enough. I was tired of thinking about Grant’s feelings when he had zero respect for me.”

“And you came to Reed Point to be closer to your parents?”

“Yes. My mom had been suggesting it for a long time, but I didn’t feel like it was really an option until recently.” I tell him about Grant’s move to North Carolina, and how it was suddenly cut short.

“That’s why he was here the other day, he wants us to move back now that he is home. I’ve already told him that’s not happening, and he’s not exactly thrilled about it. He’s even cut off all financial support to try to convince me to change my mind. So, now all we have is my salary from the restaurant and some savings.”

The more I tell Jake, the more rigid his body gets. I am normally a pretty private person; I can’t believe I’ve sat here and shared every ugly detail of my life. But Jake is easy to open up to. I feel like I’ve known him for much longer than I have.

“So, he cut you off when you refused to terminate your lease and come home?”

“He did. But if I’m being honest, I think it has been for the best. There are no more strings. He can’t hold anything over my head,” I say. “I can’t believe I’m telling you all of this. It’s so embarrassing.”

Jake shifts in his seat, sliding closer to me. The expression is his eyes is so earnest, I feel it deep in my chest. “First of all, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Just hearing what he put you through makes me want to put my fist through his face. He’s lucky I didn’t know any of this when I saw him last week; there would have been cops involved.” Jake’s voice is as sharp as a blade. “And second, you should be proud of yourself, Ev. It takes courage to do what you did.”

“It hasn’t been easy but it’s worth it. I know I made the right decision to come here.”

“Where is he now?” He asks. “Where did you live before coming to Reed Point?”

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