Page 136 of Diamond In The Rough

Her pulse comes a little faster. A little faster. Until he turns on his heels and disappears. At which point, her pulse sprints.

“Ignore that sound,” she murmurs, lying back in her bed and looking anywhere but at me. “It’s been on the fritz all day.”

“Funny. I’ve been here all day, and it was working just fine.” I draw her hand up to cup my cheek. Grief swamping my veins. Shame, following right after like a thick, muddy wave that represents how completely fucking vile I was to her. “Listen, Tiia. I’m sorry?—”

“You love me too, right?” She turns and searches my eyes, her stare a physical burn on my skin. “I mean… Toss all the drama and hurt feelings and lies told and all that stuff aside. When everything is stripped back and it’s just me and you in a room and nothing else matters…” Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears. Her thumb, stroking my cheek. “Toss all that stuff aside: you love me, don’t you? This isn’t one-sided.”

“Yes.” Fuck me. Fuck this life. Fuck it all. “Yes, Grá. I love you. But I?—”

“But you’re mad, because I lied and snuck.” She pauses to swallow. “I know.”

“No, I’m mad because I assaulted you.” I glance at the door, to ensure we’re alone. Then I bring my focus back and lower my voice. “I assaulted you, mo chroí. I tied you to a fucking chair, destroyed your clothes, and touched you without your permission.”

“You—”

“I became the one and only man I swore I would never be. I became my father. And that’s not something worth forgiving.”

“I forgive you.” She rolls her thick bottom lip between her teeth and smiles. “I did something bad, and in response, you did something bad. My thing went on for weeks. Yours, an hour, and you couldn’t even commit to it.” She tries to smile as I search her eyes. “You had a million reasons to do the very thing you were raised to do. But your love was greater than your hatred.”

“What are you?” I drop my gaze again as shame washes through my veins. “A fucking poet? This isn’t something that can be brushed aside, Hale.”

“No. But it’s something to be studied. A lesson to learn from.”

“Tiia—”

She cups the back of my head and waits as I lean closer. Closer. Though a foot still sits between us. “Imagine you were a dog bred to fight. You know only one thing. Your instincts say only one thing. You’ve been taught that singular thing all your life. Then a cute little baby chicken wanders into your cage. It would be completely and totally normal for the dog to tear that chick apart and make a mess.”

“You’re being silly. Stop?—”

“But he didn’t tear her apart, Malone. He wanted to. And he knew how. It should have been easy. But when instincts told him to go one way, compassion and love allowed him to protect and preserve the chick instead.”

I glance up and meet her eyes, firming my lips as intolerance rolls through my blood. “You’re reaching.”

But of course, she laughs in the face of danger. Only to follow it up with a groan of pain as her injuries become apparent. “I forgive you,” she moans. “And you love me.” She gently rubs her belly, bolts of panic lancing through my gut as I think of her hurting her stitches. “There’s something here that matters, Micah. And neither of us can afford to toss it in the trash.”

“You’re a badge.” Yet, I bring her hand around and kiss her knuckles. “I’m the subject of every investigation you’ll run for the rest of your life.”

“Actually,” she smirks, playful and soul destroying. “I’m unemployed and will probably need a loan soon. Would you know anyone flush with cash who could help me out?”

“Tiia—”

“Though I’m forced to ask: would I be borrowing from the mob, where my kneecaps become payment? Or am I borrowing from Micah Malone…” Her eyes dance. “My man?”

Fuckkkkkk. Her.

“Why the hell are you unemployed, Grá? You just took a bullet for the job. You should be set with a pension for the rest of your life.”

“No.” She shakes her head, the movement making her too-hard pillows crinkle. “I took a bullet for you. The job can eat rotten eggs.” She allows her eyes to flicker closed. Though her smile is still for me. “Consider this my apology for being a big fat liar.”

“So fucking toxic.” I twine my fingers with hers. “This isn’t the foundation for a good relationship.”

“Love so enveloping that a mongrel dog will protect his prey, and the prey will trade her life for his? That isn’t worthy?” She forces her eyes open. So tired. So heavy. “I think what we have is beautiful.” She exhales, soft and sweet and so fucking sleepy, she tempts me to climb into bed beside her and pull her into my arms. “You just have to give yourself permission,” she sighs. “Forgive yourself for the things that were done to you, not by you.”

“Why do you want to be with me, anyway?” She already has me. Already owns me. “Why, Tiia?”

“Because you make my heart skip a beat every time you speak.” She silences, grinning when her monitors become all we hear. And like she commands it, her pulse jumps. “But also because I bought this new plant recently. It was on the sale rack and all droopy and stuff. It needed a new home.” She grits her teeth. “I need help, or it’s gonna die.”

“For fuck’s sake.” I push up to my feet and stand over her fragile body, major abdominal surgery and the good drugs no doubt impeding her common sense. But I hold her face and lower until our lips hover just a hair’s breadth away. “I’ll raise your plant.”

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