“Are you done with me already?” He dropped the dress and crossed his arms. “Did you find yourself someone new who will play the part of Prince Charming with enthusiasm?”
A cold feeling of dread slid along her spine. “Why are you starting a fight? Were you too lazy to craft a decent see-ya speech?” The way his body bristled with anger didn’t bother her as much as she expected. It seemed she did have lines that couldn’t be crossed, and her self-respect truly was alive and well.
“You didn’t answer the question!”
“I don’t know who peed in your Cheerios, but I will not be baited into a ridiculous skirmish.” She lifted the pile of dresses. “I have all kinds of feelings for you, but this is not a day to test which ones rise to the top.” She marched into her closet and counted backward from fifty, hoping to control her temper by the time she rehung her clothes.
The man was beyond infuriating, and she was beginning to think that their brief moments of connection wouldn’t be enough. It was up to him to evict his ever-present demons. The ones that told him he didn’t deserve better and the only way to balance the ledger was to sacrifice his life alongside the men who didn’t make it home.
Sayonara, happy sex hormones. They were no match for the pain and loss he clung to.
Not that she thought the connection they occasionally managed would be. She wasn’t a damn fool, after all.
Or was she? She straightened the hangers and decided she was as centered as she was going to get. It was time to deal with the exasperating man and get on with her day. When she stepped out of her closet, she saw Zane standing next to the window. “I can make up a hundred stories about what has caused your behavior, or you can just tell me. There’s no need to put on a big show. If you’ve lost interest, just say it.”
Doing what she could to ignore the uncertainty in his eyes, she attempted a small fortification of her emotional walls—not going to settle for ambiguity and not going to settle for yes one minute and no the next. Not going to settle for mind-blowing sex in exchange for… that last thought was perhaps a bit hasty. It might be best to leave that one alone for now. “I have plenty of wine, chips, and ice cream. I’m more than able to handle you scuttling off like a wounded bear and disappearing into your cave.”
The gust of air that escaped his mouth was impressive, and she guessed that he found her slightly theatrical but no doubt entertaining plea somewhat annoying. “I’m ready, Zane. Hit me with your best departing speech.”
“I have no idea what the hell I’m doing.” He stalked over and took her hand. “And I don’t have some kind of speech prepared.” He leaned back and studied her face. “Is that disappointment I see?”
“No,” she sputtered. “Okay, maybe a little since I have two snappy comebacks and one mind-bending retort ready.”
“I’m sorry that I’ve been acting like an ass. I know how to be a warrior on the front lines.” He twisted his mouth. “It’s probably the place I’m most comfortable. And truth be told, there are days when I want to be back in the fight. Because there’s nothing like the rush of adrenaline when you have a chance to take out the enemy, whoever it might be.”
She ran her finger over a puckered scar on his forearm and assumed it was from a bullet. “Right now, I’m the only enemy you’ve got since I’ve messed with your hermit plans. I’m the disrupter in the quiet life you were hoping to find.”
“You’re not…”
She held her breath, letting it out slowly when he didn’t say more. “I’m going to kick you out so I can get ready.”
“What kind of plans require you to show off those damn fine legs of yours?” He moved closer. “Do I have to take up my sword and show the competition what they have to look forward to?”
“As if you’d do such a thing.” Feeling his grip tighten, she looked up. “All your recent bluster and bad manners suggest you’d like nothing more than to be free of my attention.”
“Not free, Liv.”
“Not really buying that, but no matter.”
“Do you need a ride to wherever you’re going?”
“No, Zane. It’s the sixth anniversary of Thad’s passing, and I’m having dinner with his brother and best friend.”
“Ah, jeez. I’m sorry.”
“No problem.” She turned toward her bathroom. “You can bring Killer over in the morning. No need to try and make it work.”
“It’s fine. He’s not bad and can stay at the house.”
“Dogs and people deserve a lot more than fine.” Not wanting to drag the conversation on longer, she stepped away. “You take care, Zane.” She walked into her bathroom and closed the door. Some stories are not meant to be written, and there’s no changing that. She flipped on the water and stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Hard days don’t last forever. Take one step and then another until you’re in a place that feels okay.”
She dropped her head as the small room filled with steam, reminding herself she’d already had the worst day of her life. Feeling a smidge better, she stepped into the shower and was grateful she’d protected her soft heart. Zane’s ambivalence was stronger than his desire, and that was a fact she’d do well to keep front of mind.
Zane sat back on his knees and accepted that he was welcomed by the inhabitants of Haven. No one gave him a wide berth, whispered behind his back, or made him feel unwanted in any way. In fact, several of them were populating Olivia’s yard as they helped him and Linc finish the rehab on the Ferris wheel.
Allen lumbered in his direction, and he pushed himself to his feet. “You heading out?”
“No, I’ve got myself a hall pass and the evening to do with as I please.”