Page 82 of Trust

Stepping forward, she pressed her finger into his chest. “You take that back.”

He covered her hand and felt his anger drain away. “I can’t, babe. You’re just as frightened as I am. Your packaging is just a lot better and makes everyone, including yourself, believe you’re ready to move forward.” Letting out a shaky breath, he moved closer. “I didn’t pay close enough attention when you admitted I could break your heart. I’m your litmus test, the same way you’re mine.”

“I don’t want to take the damn test, Zane.”

“I know, but it’s been given, and our next move will determine whether we get a pass or fail.”

Nothing, his little chatterbox was blinking furiously. If he had to guess, he’d say she was trying to come up with a rebuttal that would light his ass on fire.

He crossed his arms and tried to make sense of the feelings rioting through his body. If he were more evolved, he’d be able to admit that it was anxiety and vulnerability.

He’d always found a way to dominate and flourish.

Until that op.

That wasn’t an experience he needed to repeat. And being in an actual relationship with Olivia all but guaranteed it. How could he willingly walk into what was sure to be the second-greatest failure of his life?

“Love isn’t a test, Zane. It’s a chance to be the best version of ourselves.”

“Same thing.”

She stepped in front of him and tugged on his arm. “Your past doesn’t define your future. And I don’t mean that in some bullshit greeting card way. Can’t we always do better?”

“Yes. And I know I should just get over it—bury the memories of the men I couldn’t bring home alongside their corpses.” He took her hand and squeezed. “I’m a fucking cliché. And there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.”

“You’re no such thing, Zane Hawker. You’re merely mortal and paying the unimaginable price for what your country asked you to do in the name of democracy.”

“Don’t give it a high shine, Liv. What I did with the men I served with was down-and-dirty warfare. We did the things so few could, and…”

“Made sacrifices,” Olivia finished quietly. “But none of that is truly the reason you’re walking away. So, let’s not pretend.”

“And what’s making you walk away, Liv?” He tipped her chin so they looked at one another in the fading light.

“I’m smart enough to know that unrequited love is bullshit.” She moved out of reach. “I can’t continue chasing you, hoping I’ll someday be more interesting than the pain you keep close.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve tried.” He looked up at the sky and couldn’t ignore the fact that her happiness was more important than his own. He had a lot of work ahead of him, and when he’d be on the other side of it, he couldn’t say. How could I ask a woman like Liv to wait?

“No,” she whispered. “You allowed fear to be more important than love. Our fragile moments of connection triggered you, and instead of doing something about it, you’re choosing to hunker down behind your walls. Well, enjoy troll life, Zane. And don’t worry, I’ll leave you be.” She took a step back and then another. “I knew you were a lot of things, but I never thought being a coward was one of them.”

He watched her stride toward the house and accepted that perhaps that was exactly what he was. Because if he weren’t, he wouldn’t let her walk away, taking his heart with her.

TWENTY-TWO

Twelve days had passed since Olivia walked away from Zane, and she’d spent ten of them roaming the beach. The current day being the most relaxing. Soft sand cushioned her feet, the wind blew gently against her face, and the sun warmed her shoulders, making her question why she hadn’t made the friendly beachside community home.

She’d hightailed it out of Haven hours after the confrontation with her lover and driven directly to her sister’s house on the Outer Banks. Thankfully, Callie was elated and welcomed her to stay for as long as she liked. An offer she had taken seriously.

They’d been cooking up a storm during the evenings and indulging in every feel-good movie that Netflix featured. It had been too long since she’d had uninterrupted time with her baby sister. She was more grateful than ever that they both pursued their careers from home, albeit in diametrically opposed disciplines.

Callie was a genius programmer and did all kinds of work for government agencies that she couldn’t and wouldn’t name. Her faded yellow house that sat steps from the ocean was not the idyllic getaway that most people would suspect but headquarters for some high-level dark web something or other.

Bella gave her a happy bark, and she realized that she hadn’t thrown the tennis ball yet. Pitching it as far as she could, she watched her girl thunder in the direction of the bright yellow ball and watched her snatch it out of the water right before a wave crashed against the shore. As she ran back with her prize, Olivia thought about Killer and hoped that Zane didn’t offload the dog before she could find it a new home.

She’d made Lucy promise to keep an eye out for the little darling and take in the dog if her neighbor thought the pound was a viable option.

Not that she thought he would stoop so low. He wasn’t heartless, after all. “Twenty-six,” she said quietly as Bella dropped the ball and sat on her feet. She’d been keeping track of the number of times Zane came to mind, and the fact that she hadn’t hit triple digits before lunchtime was an encouraging sign. “Road to recovery, Bella. We’re definitely on it.”

She collapsed onto the sand, adjusted her hat, and leaned back. “Maybe we should stay here and become beach bums.”

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