Page 55 of Irresistible Second Chance

I looked up to see my mom standing in front of me looking hesitant. “Your dad will be ok,” she said keeping distance between us. “I spoke to his doctor. He’s going to be fine. They’re just going to keep him for observation.”

I nodded, “I know. Dad told me.”

We both stood there staring at each other, each one of us not knowing what to say next. She spoke first.

“You got here pretty fast. I’m surprised you didn’t get pulled over.”

“Just lucky, I guess,” I didn’t know why she was still trying to make conversation. We’d said enough to each other already as far as I was concerned and then I heard my dad’s voice in my head. He said to give her a break. I would try.

“So, you live nearby, right?” Addresses seemed to be a neutral topic.

“Yes, you should ummm come visit some time. If you want. No pressure,” she looked down at her feet. Then she looked up at me, squared her shoulders and said, “I would love for you to come visit me...even if it’s for a few minutes. I know you’re busy. You have your own life now...but if you’re ever in the area, please stop by. You don’t even have to call ahead...you’re more than welcome to just stop in to say hi.”

I wondered how long she had been waiting to say that. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but tonight was different. Tonight, I was on edge. My nerves were raw, and to my horror, I found myself saying, “Maybe...maybe I will.”

Even from the distance, I could see her eyes tear up. And at that moment I remembered the mom she was before alcohol took her away from me...from all of us. I remembered the nights she helped me with my homework. I remembered helping her make cookies...I remember her holding me in the middle of the night once when I had the flu. I remembered how much I loved her and how much it had hurt each and every time she left.

And that memory of the person she was sent me rushing into her arms, surprising us both. She wrapped her arms around me and I cried for the second time that day. But this time I wasn’t crying just because of my present, but because of my past. Robin was right, I needed to talk to someone, I was holding on to a lot. And I realized then that everything I was holding on to was stopping me from embracing my present fully. I wasn’t ready to forgive my mom and I didn’t know if I could ever have a real relationship with her again, but for that one moment I didn’t overanalyze. I just let myself be held by her. I let myself remember her scent and her touch and how comforting it was.

When I was done crying, I pulled away and I felt her hesitation as she forced herself to let me go. She grabbed my hand as I turned away and squeezed it, and then she turned away from me. I walked away, letting go of her hand, not knowing what else to do or say. I couldn’t cross that bridge now with my mom. I needed to attend to my dad.

Starr had the same thoughts because I found her with the girls still by his side. This time he was fully awake and arguing with Starr.

“Go home,” he was telling her. “The girls are bored out of their minds and hospitals are filled with germs.”

“It’s no big deal, Dad, the girls want to be here.”

“Yeah, Grandpa, we don’t want to leave you,” TJ said grabbing his hand. Johnna looked on stoically. She was too much like me, trying to hold in her emotions and be strong.

“I don’t mind taking the girls for the night,” I offered.

“That would be wonderful, Syd. Thank you, so now I can stay the night here with Dad.”

Dad shook his head, “No one’s staying the night here. Donna’s on her way, the rest of you need to go home and get some rest.”

“Who’s Donna?” I asked looking at Starr.

“Grandpa’s girlfriend,” Johnna said, finally talking. I wrapped my arm around her knowing she needed comfort. She leaned her little head against me.

“You have a girlfriend, Dad?” I shook my head, “Wow, I’m so out of the loop.”

“I sure do,” he said, “She’s a flight nurse and she’ll be here soon to see about me. And I don’t want you busybodies pestering her with questions...sticking your nose in other people’s business.”

Dad was full of surprises. I leaned forward, kissed him on the forehead and said, “Feel better soon. I’ll call and check on you in the morning. Come on you guys, let’s let Dad rest before Donna gets here.”

Starr and the girls hugged Dad at the same time. I came in last and gave him once last hug for good measure. “Feel better, old man.”

He chuckled, “I’ll do my best.”

I walked with Starr to her car and said goodnight to her and the girls. I was relieved to see my car where I left it, except that it had a ticket on it. I was willing to accept that.

I made my way home. It had been an emotional night. When I pulled up, I saw Chris sitting on my porch.

I sat in my car wondering what to say to him. Feeling silly, I stepped out and walked towards him.

“Hey, Syd,” he said softly. I sat down on the porch next to him. I listened to the crickets and watched the cars pass by. Neither of us said a word. I was glad he was there.

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Is he going to be ok?”

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