Page 106 of Roommate
“Who shows up at the hospital when you cut yourself up in a dumbass farming accident. That’s what matters.” At that, the man turns away and limps toward the doors again.
Kieran
Roderick takes over after we get the news that my dad’s out of surgery.
First, he figures out that the hospital will allow two people at once to see Dad in the ICU. Mom and Grandpa have that honor.
“So I’m taking you home,” he says. “It’s cold out here, and you’re shivering.”
I hadn’t noticed. But I let him steer me to the truck, where I get into the passenger seat and let him drive me home.
Then he makes me a grilled cheese sandwich, because when you live with a baker there’s always bread. But I eat it without tasting it.
“Come on,” he says afterward. “You look beat. Let’s watch an episode.”
Numb, I follow him to the sofa for the first time in way too long. He sits at one end. And instead of sitting down beside him, I lie down with my head in his lap, shamelessly asking for affection that I don’t actually deserve.
Roddy doesn’t hesitate, though. He puts a hand on my head, sifting his fingers through my hair. It feels so good that my eyelids get heavy.
“Thank you,” I say sleepily.
“It’s okay,” he whispers. “Everything is really okay.”
“I love you,” I try. It isn’t nearly as hard to say as I thought it would be. “I love you so much.” Actually, it does hurt to say it. But it aches in a good way. Like sore muscles after a good workout. It aches like progress.
Roddy leans down and places a soft kiss on my temple. “I know,” he says. “I love you, too. Now just relax.”
I must fall asleep, because the next thing I know, I’m waking up on the sofa, my head on a pillow, and Roddy is opening the back door to someone.
“Is he here?” my mother’s voice asks without preamble.
“Yes, but he’s sleeping,” Roderick says.
“But I need to speak to him.”
Before I can tell them I’m awake, I hear Roddy let fly with a response. “Oh, so now you want to talk to him? Because it’s convenient for you, and you drove all the way into town to have a conversation that’s years overdue?”
“But—”
“You know what, lady? That’s the very definition of conditional love. On your terms, right? Well, I say come back later.”
“Roddy,” I bark, my voice hoarse from disuse. “I’m up.”
“He’s awake,” my mother growls. Even though I can’t see her, I know she just pushed past him into the house.
I sit up, and the room slowly rights itself. I feel sluggish, but surprisingly calm. Today’s disasters were inevitable. And even though all those eyes on me in the hospital waiting room gave me a case of emotional sunburn, I also feel relief.
Griffin was right when he said that it wasn’t my job to explain it. It shouldn’t be my burden. But it has been, for ten years.
My mother loses some of her bluster between the backdoor and the living room, though. Because her head appears at the doorframe before the rest of her. “Kieran, are you awake?”
“Yeah, Mom. Come in.”
“Your roommate doesn’t seem to like me very much,” she sniffs.
“Boyfriend,” I correct, standing up.
Her mouth hinges open. “What?”
