Page 18 of Roommate
“Audrey and I are going to have a chat about what we need in terms of hours. And we’ll be in touch. Here—I’m going to pay you in cash for these two days of work.”
Paying him in cash is good, right? It means he’s not actually on the payroll. Maybe they aren’t hiring him. Maybe I don’t have to feel exposed every time I set foot in this place.
My relief is short-lived. Audrey buzzes through the door a little later, and the two of them go into the kitchen to talk, while I serve the afternoon crowd.
As I’m cleaning up the coffee bar, I overhear them.
“So… Who’s going to tell Kieran?” Zara says. “I’ll flip you for it.”
My heart dives into my stomach as Audrey says, “You tell him. I’ll watch.”
“Tell me what?” I ask, sticking my head into the kitchen.
They both startle. “Um…” Audrey smiles.
“We hired Roderick,” Zara says.
“What?” I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’m still miserable. “He couldn’t possibly be the best choice.” There’s no way I can see his face every day and not think about the way I shamelessly and repeatedly invaded his privacy when I was a teenager. Or why.
Audrey and Zara exchange a glance.
“Buddy,” Audrey says slowly. “Why don’t you like this guy?”
“He’s a dick,” I say immediately. And then I feel a new crushing wave of shame. Because what I mean to say is, I saw his dick. And I liked it.
“Based on what, though? How do you know him?”
Shit.
“High school, right?” Zara offers.
“Yeah,” I grumble.
“So…” Audrey offers me the plate of muffins that they’ve been chowing. But I shake my head. “Is he still a dick? I mean, I don’t want to hire a dick. But is he presently a dick, or might he have outgrown it?”
I grind my teeth. “I dunno. I have to wipe down the machines and get going.”
It’s a chickenshit move, but I need a minute to wrap my head around this new development. The only person who ever glimpsed my hidden truths has invaded my life. It’s not his fault, but I want him gone.
I clock out. As I climb into my truck and head for Burlington and my second job, I’m as stressed out as I’ve ever been. He’s a dick, I’d told Audrey and Zara. I don’t even know the guy. And Zara and Audrey need a new employee.
I’d slandered him for no reason. Shame burns hotly inside me. I’d talked smack about a person I didn’t even know, only because I didn’t want to confront myself. That’s not the guy I am—is it?
Also, I have this nagging feeling that Roderick really needs the job. If that’s the case, then I’ve done something incredibly evil.
I park behind the advertising agency and go inside, heading straight to my desk, even before saying hello to Mr. Pratt, the owner. I sit down in my fancy ergonomic chair and dial my cousin’s wife’s phone.
“Hey!” Audrey says when she picks up. “Everything okay?” It’s unusual for me to call her after hours.
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “Look. What I said earlier?”
“You mean about Roderick?”
“Right.” Jesus, I don’t even like saying his name aloud. “It was just a stupid thing in high school. Nothing to worry about.”
She’s silent for a moment. “Are you sure? I trust your opinion.”
“I’m sure.” My voice is gravel. “It’s nothing. Just high school crap. Ancient history. I mean—I wouldn’t want to hire the high school version of me, even.”
