Page 91 of Roommate
“I am not willing to tell.” I follow him down to the truck, and he lets down the tailgate.
Griff hops up on the truck and slides the furniture toward me. “Ready?”
“Let’s do this. But, uh…” We lift at the same time and I ease the dresser back slowly, giving Griffin a chance to join me on the ground again. “We can’t carry this into my room right now.”
“Why not?”
“Can’t walk in there with you yet. Maybe not ever.” The bed is right there. I’m still embarrassed.
“It’s okay—I’m stopping on the way home for eye bleach,” he says.
Then I laugh. The tension inside me breaks, and I keep on laughing.
“Who’s going to carry it up the stairs with you?” Griffin huffs as we ease the dresser up onto the porch.
“Roddy,” I gasp, still laughing.
“I can’t believe the first guy you’ve ever dated happens to be named Rod,” Griffin says. “I suppose it could be worse. Dicky, maybe. Or Hammer.”
It’s very difficult to carry a piece of furniture while laughing. We have to set it down just inside the door, so I can catch my breath.
Before he goes, Griffin wraps an arm around me. It’s half-wrestling maneuver, half-hug. “I still get to tease you, punk.”
“But not during dinner today.”
“Yeah. I saw nothing.” He gives me a manly squeeze. “Jokes aside—this is good, though, right? Sometimes we worry about you being kinda solitary. Although, not this morning.” He chuckles.
“Yeah, it is good. But it’s still private.”
“Is it ever going to be public?”
“Doubt it.”
“Okay. I sort of get it. See you in a while.” He whacks me on the back one more time and lets himself out the front door.
“Thank Ruth for the dresser!” I call after him.
“You can thank her later. Don’t bail, because you’ll be putting me on the spot.”
“Okay,” I say before shutting the door.
Although bailing sounds pretty good right now. What the hell have I done?
Roderick
The whole time Kieran and Griffin are outside, I’m a wreck. First, I pace the living room, hoping to somehow develop X-ray vision so I can see them through the oak front door. When that proves fruitless, I clean up the kitchen instead.
Finally, when I’m back to pacing again, they reappear in the driveway. I see Griffin grab Kieran into a hard hug and pat him on the back several times before releasing him.
Only then can I breathe again. I would never wish a sudden, unplanned outing on anyone. But hugging is a good sign.
I hide in my room when they come inside with the dresser. When Griffin finally leaves, I come bursting out of there. “Are you okay? That was… I’m sorry.” I babble. “Do you feel any better after speaking with him?”
“Fuck no,” he says, trudging into the living room to flop down on the couch. “What a mess. Griffin isn’t going to tell anyone. But he’s, like, Mr. Honesty. So I’m basically forcing him to lie to his wife and our entire extended family on my behalf. It’s a disaster.”
“So don’t force him?” The words slip out, even though I know it’s the wrong time to make this point. Kieran is in shock right now. He’s not ready to hear that staying in the closet is a choice.
The horrified look on his face is proof of that. “Roddy, I’m not you.”
