Page 93 of I'm Your Guy
He nods. “Okay, unrelated question. Why do you enjoy it so much when I hold you down?”
I blink, the change of topic startling. “I don’t know. I just do?” And are you going do it again? I cover my eyes, because maybe it will help me focus.
“But why,” he presses. “Serious question. I like how you respond when I pin you down. But I’d still like to understand, so I don’t overstep.”
“Oh. Um…” The feel of his hand so close to my groin makes it difficult to think. “To be honest, a shrink would probably have a field day with this question. But I’ve always wanted a man to tell me he loves me and then fuck me like he hates me. Most guys can only do one or the other, which is probably why I’m still single.”
“And I thought I was the confusing one.”
“Right?” He strokes my skin lightly, and somehow, I’m still talking. “I guess I like the illusion of having to submit to whatever you do to me. Like I don’t have to second guess my slutty personality because—oops! Not my choice.” I pull my hands away from my face and check his reaction. “Okay, that sounds really fucked up when I say it aloud.”
He’s stoic as always. But his lips twitch in a smile. “I thought maybe it was something like that. I get it.”
“You do? You seem so toppy to me.”
“Yeah, I don’t think I’m the same, but there are other things in my life that would just be easier if I didn’t have to make all the decisions.”
“Like what?” I ask, just to stay in the conversation.
He leans down and kisses my stomach right where the sheet stops. His beard tickles. The contrast between these questions and the heat of his kiss makes my head swim.
He lifts his chin. “I’ve been asking myself why I chose the house across the street from Newgate’s. That Pride jersey I gave you? It’s for his announcement.”
“Whoa,” I gasp. “No way.”
“Yeah. His boyfriend and their daughter live across the street, too. Don’t say a word, okay? But the whole world will know soon enough.”
“I’m a vault. But wow.” I run my fingers through his thick hair. “So you think maybe your subconscious wanted to be his neighbor?”
“Maybe.” His voice drops. “Like I needed to see what it was like to be Newgate. To go home to a boyfriend every night and not give two shits about what anyone else thinks.”
“Oh.”
He turns to lay his head across the sheet, but also across my thighs. I like the heavy weight of it. “Yeah. And then I doubled down. I met this hot redhead who wasn’t afraid to stand in my kitchen and tell me he was gay.”
“Am I the hot redhead in this scenario?” I ask, because I’m a little distracted.
He snorts. “Pay attention, Montana. I’m trying to tell you that you made me nervous, but I hired you anyway. I didn’t even consider looking for another designer. I only wanted you.”
“Oh.”
His finger traces the edge of the sheet that’s barely covering my hip. “I’ve been at war with myself for years, you know? It’s just that lately—for the first time—the other side seems to be winning. And I’m kinda digging it.” He lifts his head again, tugs down the covers, and kisses my stomach above the waistband of my boxers.
His mouth is so close to my dick that I don’t stand a chance. My erection reports for duty, tenting the cotton.
“So how does it work?” he asks, sliding his fingertips across my abs. “Let’s say I’m holding you down, and I do something you don’t like. How would I know you don’t like it?” He punctuates this question by pulling the sheet all the way off my body, and then nosing the erection in my shorts.
“Um…” I let out a hot breath. “If I was unhappy, there’s really no way you could miss it. It’s easy enough to say stop that and mean it. Even with, uh, a gag on.”
“A gag,” he repeats slowly, his eyes on fire. “I can’t decide if that sounds hot, or just awkward.”
“It’s just, uh, a serving suggestion,” I mutter. “Not a requirement.”
“I like the visual,” he says, tucking his fingertips into my waistband. “But I also like the things you say when you’re turned on.”
“Nnngh,” I say as he drags my underwear down and off my body.
“And as for regrets, I’ve only got one.” He tosses my boxers off the bed, along with the covers.
