Page 62 of Him
For him, it’ll be another little experiment he can take with him before he goes off and settles down with some girl.
He’s watching me now, waiting for me to decide. And while he waits he’s gently jacking himself and staring into my eyes.
Holy shit, I’m going to do it.
I’m going to fuck the only man I’ve ever loved.
I can hardly breathe as I reach for the lube. Then I realize I need a condom too, so I climb off the bed in search of my duffel bag. I stashed a whole box of them in there, though I’m not entirely sure why. When I took the job at camp, it was for the sole purpose of spending time with Jamie, not to go on some kind of sex spree with the gay locals.
I never thought I’d be opening this box. With Jamie. For Jamie.
“Are you sure?” I ask thickly.
He nods. Those brown eyes burn with hunger. They shine with trust. I memorize that expression, the way he looks lying there at my mercy, big and hard and rippling with masculine power.
I take my time with him, more generous than usual with the lube. Fuck, I don’t want to hurt him, and I absolutely don’t want him to hate this. I can’t help but remember my first time, how cheap it made me feel, being used by a guy who didn’t give a shit whether I enjoyed myself or not.
I want this to be so good for Jamie.
“One finger won’t be enough this time.” My voice is so gravelly it stings my throat. “You’ll need to get used to more before I…uh…”
He sounds as raspy-voiced as I do. “You’ll stop if I don’t like it?”
My heart squeezes. “Of course.” I lean over him and plant a reassuring kiss on his lips, then wink at him. “Just say ballsack if you want me to stop.”
A wave of laughter shudders through him. “Oh shit. I totally forgot about that.”
I laugh too as I think about the ridiculous code word we made up when we were fourteen. I’m not sure who came up with it—who am I kidding? It was obviously me—but we’d used it during our wrestling phase. We decided MMA was the coolest shit ever and spent hours in the gym practicing our “moves.” Except half the time when one of us tapped out, the other wouldn’t notice, so we devised a safe word.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the day Pat walked into the gym and found us—me, flat on my stomach with Jamie’s knee digging into the back of my neck, while I yelled “Ballsack!” over and over again.
“Ready to come harder than you’ve ever come in your life?” I ask solemnly, lifting one of his knees up.
He smiles. “You sure you want to put that much pressure on yourself, dude?”
“No pressure. Just fact. Science has proven it.”
Now he snickers, but the sound dies when the tip of my finger circles his hole. His ass cheeks instantly clench. Not in fear, but anticipation. I see it in his eyes, a raw gleam of heat, before he lifts up his other knee and all but puts himself on display for me.
Jesus. Nope, not gonna survive this.
I tease and caress for several long moments before slipping my finger inside. My other hand grips his erection. I’m selfish, but I don’t want him to come until I’m buried inside him, so I don’t take him in my mouth or jerk him as hard as I know he wants. Slow, featherlight strokes are all he gets as I work my finger into his tight hole.
When a second finger joins the party, his brows draw together. Beads of sweat break out on his forehead. Mine, too. Loosening him up is one of the hottest things I’ve ever done. It takes all my concentration. Stroking, teasing, twisting, getting him ready for me.
At three fingers, he moans loud enough to wake the dead, and I release his erection to press my palm to his mouth. “Quiet, baby.”
“Wes…” He’s squirming now, pushing his ass against my probing fingers. Every time I connect with his prostate, he pants out a breath. “I need more.”
He’s beautiful. Goddamn beautiful. And I’m so hard it hurts. My heartbeat takes off like it’s on a breakaway as I tear open the condom packet with my teeth. I cover myself with one hand, then pour lube on the condom to get the latex even slicker. My fingers continue to torment Jamie’s ass.
“You ready for it?” I rasp.
His lips part on a shaky breath. He nods.
Gripping my shaft, I position myself between his big thighs. My breathing is equally unsteady. Hell, my hand is trembling around my cock as if I’ve never done this before. But I haven’t done this. Not with someone I love.
The head of my cock nudges his hole. He tenses again, clenching to deny me entrance.
