Page 246 of This Woman Forever

I’m done.

I close my eyes and freefall into my darkness, feeling an odd sense of peace filling my broken body.

Because I can leave this world knowing my wife and children will be safe from my tragedies.

46

“Stand back, coming through!”

Who the fuck is that?

“We have a thirty-eight-year-old white male, knife wound to his upper stomach, knife still lodged, lost a lot of blood, BP forty-five over thirty.”

I frown.

“We need to get him on the table. Stat. Prep surgery.” I feel hands on me, my body becoming light momentarily. Then I’m gagging, choking, something blocking my throat. Then beeps. Yells. Panic.

And then?—

Nothing.

47

I inhale and take in my surroundings. Trees, grass, shrubs, water. I recognize it. The sun is blazing up above, the sky a vivid blue, a few fluffy clouds dotted around. No city noise, just tweeting birds and branches swaying in the gentle breeze.

It’s a perfect day.

I smile as I trudge down to the small barrier between the lake and the path, looking across the water to the island. Ducks, hundreds of them, bob on the surface, weaving perfect paths through the water, cute ducklings following them. It’s spring. My favorite season of the year. It’s the season I met my wife.

It’s just past seven in the evening. What the hell am I doing in the park at this time? She’ll be at home waiting for me.

I start walking up the path but slow to a gradual stop when I realize I don’t know where my car’s parked. “Fuck,” I curse, reaching into my pocket for my mobile. No phone. And as I gaze around the park, I realize it’s empty. At seven o’clock in the evening on a beautiful spring day?

I frown, my eyes dropping down my suited front, and some unknown, higher power has me reaching for my jacket. I pull back one side. “What the fuck?” I whisper, staring at the knife plunged in my side. I turn on the spot, my eyes darting, panic rising. But where’s the pain? There’s blood, so much fucking blood, but where’s the pain? I stagger a few paces forward, and then I see someone in the distance. A man with a child on his shoulders. They’re blurry, but definitely there. Help me.

But as they get closer, I realize he’s not a man.

He’s a young lad.

My brother.

“Jake?” I breathe, not nearly loud enough for him to hear me, but he hears, smiling back at me, getting closer while I stand stock-still, mesmerized by the sight of him. His floppy hair, the cheeky twinkle in his eye. I follow his arms up to the hands he’s holding either side of his face. Small, chubby hands. “Oh my God,” I whisper, meeting Rosie’s eyes.

“Daddy,” she sings, jumping up and down on Jake’s shoulders, making him laugh.

“Steady, girl, my shoulders aren’t as big as your dad’s.”

Confused as fuck, I look at my shoulders. Wide shoulders in an expensive suit. Older shoulders. What the hell is going on? Looking up at my girl, I stare, transfixed. Awed. I just want to grab her down and squeeze her. And Jake too. “Where are we?” I ask. “What is this?” I move forward and nearly knock myself out when I crash into something invisible. “The fuck?” I blurt, ricocheting back.

“Watch your mouth, Daddy.”

I recoil, surprised, as Jake laughs his adolescent nuts off and Rosie chuckles, the sound squeaky and completely adorable. “Watch your mouth, bro.” Jake smirks.

I tentatively reach forward with my hand, feeling for the glass blocking my way to them. Could I smash it?

“No,” Jake says. “I wouldn’t even try.”

“I don’t understand.”

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