Page 247 of This Woman Forever

“We’re in heaven, Daddy!”

“We are?” I look around, so fucking confused. “It looks like St. James’s Park to me.”

“Heaven is wherever you want it to be,” Jake says. “We chose here, didn’t we, Rosie?”

“Quack, quack, quack.”

I laugh lightly, but it’s tinged with nerves. “Heaven,” I muse, looking down at my stomach. At the knife.

“You’re not in heaven,” Jake says, winning my attention.

“Where am I then?”

“Well, you’re kind of in-between.”

“What? In-between where and where?” Shit, am I going down instead of up?

“It’s not your time yet, Jesse,” Jake says, smiling, backing up. Where’s he going? I’m not done.

“Wait,” I yell, my hands on the invisible barrier between us, my eyes bouncing between my brother and daughter, desperate to go with them. But?—

“Ava,” I whisper. It’s not my time.

“You’re going to have a girl and a boy!” Rosie sings.

“What?”

“You better name the boy after me,” Jake says, chuckling. “And let me tell you, if you think the past twenty years have been a punishment, wait until you meet your little girl.” He’s getting farther and farther away, fading.

“Jake, wait,” I call, my palms feeling across the barrier, my face pushed up close. “Please don’t go.” Don’t leave me.

“You’re needed, bro.” His smile is like a balm, but I see the sadness in his green eyes. He misses me. “We’re good.”

“You’re good,” I murmur.

“And Daddy?” Rosie says, palms on the top of Jake’s head, leaning closer as he continues to back away.

“What, baby girl?” I whisper, taking her in, every beautiful inch of her, refreshing all the memories I have of her. “Take the money.”

“The money?” I frown. “What money? I have money.”

“See you soon, Daddy.”

“It’s not that soon, my girl.” Jake laughs, eyes on me. “You’re never alone, Jesse.” He smiles. “Even when you’re alone.” Jake looks past me, and then I hear her.

“Jesse, please, open your eyes.”

I look back over my shoulder.

“Why isn’t he waking up? It’s been too long.”

“Ava?” I question, searching for her in the blankness.

“Go to her,” Jake calls.

“But what about you?” I ask, my panic rising again. Am I supposed to choose? “I should be with you.” It should have always been me.

I face the glass again, feel it. Search the space beyond.

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