Page 270 of This Woman Forever

My finger touches my new wound, tracing the length of it. No tingles. I bite at my lip as I move my finger to the old wound. Trace that too. No tingles. I smile and go to the kitchen, looking out of the window, seeing Joseph and Elizabeth getting out of a cab. I hardly suppress my groan when Dan appears too. I inwardly call him every name under the sun as I nip out the front to direct them round the back. Elizabeth squeals when she spots me, but soon shuts up when I raise a finger to my lips, looking back into the villa nervously. My God, does everyone we know not understand the element of surprise? Ava’s parents creep off, but Dan remains, hands in his pockets watching them go. What’s he hanging back for? “All right?” I ask.

As soon as Elizabeth and Joseph are out of range, he comes to me, holding his hand out. I don’t miss the brief drop of his eyes to my stomach. I swear, if he mentions anything about what happened, I can’t promise I’ll hold back. I take his hand tentatively and let him do all the shaking. “Take care of her,” he says.

What can I say? Tell him not to insult me? There have been numerous nights I’ve woken up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. It’s always the same dream. Or more reliving one of the most terrifying moments of my life. Walking into the penthouse and seeing Ava bent over, hysterical, and seeing my ex-wife wielding a knife. I shudder on the spot, pushing it back. My lack of honesty put Ava in that situation, and I will never forgive myself for that. “I’ll take care of her,” I murmur, breaking our hands. “Thanks for coming.” I had no choice but to invite him. And pay for his airfare. “And, Dan,” I say, as I back away. “Stay away from Kate and Sam.”

He nods, accepting, and goes after his parents as mine pull up, John driving them. The big man gets out, and I’m surprised to see him in some linen trousers and a shirt. Both cream.

“Nice,” I muse as he looks over his glasses at me.

“Motherfucker,” he breathes, and I laugh, walking on bare feet to the car and opening the door for Mum, helping her out.

She gives me an accusing eye. “Your father’s been splashing some cash.”

“He has?” I ask, innocent, as she holds out her wrist. “Ooh, fancy.” I take in the delicate piece. “You look lovely, Mum.”

“And you look... not ready.” She takes in my white shorts as John chuckles.

“I’m ready,” I assure her.

“For what, a swim?”

“Maybe,” I muse.

Confused and perhaps a little exasperated by me, she hands over the flower as Dad moves in for a hug.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Ready, son?”

“For Ava?” I ask. “Never.”

He laughs and releases me, holding the tops of my arms, looking at me. Studying me. I let him have his moment as John leads Mum around the side of the villa toward the beach. Dad doesn’t say anything else. He inhales, squeezes my arms, then moves in and kisses my forehead. “Good luck, son.” Releasing me, he wanders off, and I watch him go until he rounds the corner.

A deep breath.

Complete.

I go inside and trim the stem of the flower, tucking it in the back of my shorts, then fetch Ava’s dress, my timing perfect. She’s at the wardrobe when I enter the bedroom. “I’ve picked something.”

She looks back, taking me in first before the dress. Her hands move away from the rails. “It’s a bit short, isn’t it?”

“I’ll make an exception,” I say nonchalantly, going to her and helping her into it. I zip her up and take her in. “Cute.” I look out past the billowing voile drapes, hoping everyone is in place as I claim Ava’s hand.

“I need shoes.” She laughs as I pull her to the doors.

“We’re paddling,” I say over my shoulder, walking us around the pool to the gate that leads to the beach. I see everyone in the distance and look back at Ava to see if she’s spotted them. No. Her eyes are on me.

“Can we paddle on our backs?” she asks.

“Pregnancy does wonderful things to you, Mrs. Ward.”

“I always want you this much.”

“I know you do.” I stop us at the gate and spend a short while taking her in. Glorious. “You’re missing something.” I pull the calla from the back of my shorts and tuck it behind her ear, fixing her air around it. “Much better.”

She smiles as I lean in and kiss her cheek before walking us on. “Watch that piece of splintered wood,” I warn, stepping across the old sleepers. “Careful.”

“You should have let me put some shoes on, then.” She leaps across the wooden planks.

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