Page 33 of This Woman Forever

“Ava,” I beg softly. “Look at me.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t start making demands when I’m feeling like this.”

She’s not the only one feeling defeated. But, again, how can I whine about how tired I am? All the shit that’s gone down today is because of me. “Perhaps you didn’t hear me right,” I say harshly, frustrated with everything. Especially myself. “I said, look at me.”

She turns a bored expression my way. “What?”

I get on my knees and put myself in front of her. “I’ve fucked up,” I say gently. “I’m so sorry, I was trying to keep her away from you.” I search her eyes, begging her to understand. There was nothing underhanded about seeing Coral. It was all simply an effort to protect her. “I panicked and thought I could talk some sense into her. I didn’t want her kicking up a stink on your special day.”

“It’s your special day too. You should’ve just told me.”

And I really wish I had, but what’s done is done. I move in and give her a hug. “I know. Let me make it up to you. What do you want me do, baby? Name it.”

“Just take me to bed.”

The best answer. Escape. We’re both done for the day. “Deal.” I get us up and give her a long, soft kiss, and I thank everything that she responds, syphoning off the calm she needs from the man who causes all of the chaos in her life. “We’ll make friends properly later.” I dip and sweep her off her feet, and she drops her heavy head onto my shoulder as I walk us back to The Manor. Exhausted. And yet despite her tears, she still looks... glorious. I didn’t ruin her beautiful face at least.

I look up at all of the illuminated windows of my manor, see the bodies on the ground floor in the windows. I don’t know if there’s ever been a time in the history of this place when it’s stood empty, not a single person in any of the rooms. Imagine how quiet it would be if it was just me and Ava living here. The lord and his lady. I smile.

It drops the moment I step into the summer room and spot Elizabeth gunning for me.

Oh, here we go.

“You’ve not cut the cake and you need to have your first dance,” she snaps, outraged. “Tell me, are we having a wedding?”

I only needed Ava to say I do. “I’m taking Ava upstairs.” I keep up my pace. “She’s tired.”

“But it’s only ten o’clock,” Elizabeth cries, flanking me. “What about your guests?”

What about them? “There’s a bar, band, and plenty to eat, Elizabeth.” And if they want to be adventurous, at this stage, I’d happily open the communal room to keep them entertained. “I’m sure they’ll survive.”

“Ava, please,” she begs, deciding she’s getting nowhere with me. “Talk some sense into him.”

Ava’s hands fall onto my cheeks, and my feet slow but don’t stop, my forehead heavy as I look at her. Her face. “A little longer,” she says, and I slow to a stop. “We can give her longer.”

Can we? Haven’t we given enough of our time to others today? “You’re tired.” I’m tired. Fucking knackered, in fact. “Let me take you to bed, baby.”

She smiles a little, nuzzling into my face. “Dance with me.” I’m a goner. “Let’s dance.” Dance. It’s my next favorite thing to sex with Ava. I get to hold her close. Black out the world and just dance.

So I reverse my steps and carry Ava to the dance floor, hearing Elizabeth breathe out her relief. Everyone steps aside, giving the floor to us. Just us.

I put my wife down and go to the band. “Now?” the lead singer asks, and I nod. “The same track?”

“Please.” It’s perfect, now more than ever. I watch him set it up and, as soon as the intro of Chasing Cars starts, I smile to myself, facing her. She’s all on her own in the middle of the floor. A beacon of pure, beautiful light. If I join her, will I cast a shadow over that light again? My feet won’t move to take me to her. A sign? Her eyes sparkle, but tears are the cause. Emotional. So fucking emotional. At this point, given what the day has brought, I can’t conclude it’s hormones.

I walk into her body and hold her close, starting to move us slowly. The peace is instant. But my guilt is untamable. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I left you earlier.”

“Let’s leave it there.”

“The harder I try not to hurt you, the more I do.” I swallow down the ball in my throat, damning myself to hell. “I’m hopeless.” Fucking hopeless.

“Be quiet.”

I sigh, trying to smile at her order. “Okay. But I’m still sorry.” I cup the back of her head and exhale my contentment. “I can’t wait to crawl into bed with you.”

“Me neither.” Her fingers claw into my shoulders. “Tomorrow, we stay in bed all day.”

“We need to go home first,” I remind her, sensing her disappointment when she goes heavier against me.

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