Page 21 of Lost In London

I preferred my own space over others. I’m selective about the food I eat and who I share meals with. I’m honest, never telling a white lie to baby someone and their feelings.

Then when it comes to relationships, I’m too intense. My love is too smothering. I demanded too much.

I’ve always been protective in my relationships but now all of a sudden I’m borderline possessive but not in a toxic fashion. Was it my fault I wanted to live in my woman’s skin? Her air was my air. Learning her dislikes and likes was done effortlessly. Pleasing her to realms past perfection was daily goals of mine. I hoovered too close. I questioned everything and offered too much. They couldn’t breathe. I didn’t believe in ‘let me have some space.’ My woman was my space. She had secrets, well I’m the ink to her diary.

Each of my relationships, all four of them, said all the above and ended for the same reason – I’m too much and not enough of what they wanted but they could never tell me what more it was that they needed from me.

After India and I broke up I went seeking answers. A spiritual sabbatical. God had to meet me in the ring because I was tired of being rejected for the way He created me to be. And then when I would pray and ask for Him to scale it down a bit, He intensified all those ‘bad’ traits in me that my exes complained about.

Might seem unhealthy but my ways only grew and grew.

Now I can understand why India and the three before her ended things and questioned our future because they weren’t the woman fashioned for me and I wasn’t the man for them.

I don’t regret our time together nor do I think it served no purpose if they weren’t my person. There are blessings and lessons in everything. My exes helped prepare me for her. They helped me finetune everything I am for the one who needs it, and her name is London Nicole Carter.

“Quincey, come over here for a second!” Derrick yelled across the room.

My eyes hadn’t left London and though she wasn’t looking at me, hadn’t looked at me, I saw clear as the day the quickening of her breath and fumbling of the pencil in her hand. She’s been avoiding me since we were first introduced. I don’t blame her for running from me. The minute I got her within my grasp the only place she could ever run is into my arms.

Normally whenever I was brought into a business circle of sorts, I stood a distance away. I liked my personal space. But with London, I was almost touching her shoulder. I loved looking at the small mole right under her bottom lip. Lips that were in the perfect bowtie shape and always looked soft, pillow soft. The perfect shaped lips for kissing.

I loved to kiss and I wanted to kiss her so damn bad.

“London, you know Quincey Reid. He’s over our urban planning and development. He’ll be overseeing your rolling out process.” I know she felt my gaze searing through her. Standing there looking like a fine glass of maple syrup about to be drizzled over fresh cracked open walnuts. “Anything you need and all approvals, he’s your guy. I’m heading out. You all take care.” Derrick leaving me alone with London was the highlight of my day.

Turning around, she started packing her things, doing everything but giving me her full attention. Glad I wasn’t an insecure man. Her avoidance might’ve hurt my feelings. “Thank you for being of assistance to me, Mr. Reid, but I’m sure I can handle things on my own.” I’m sure she could too but that wasn’t going to happen. I’ve already been working behind the scenes to make sure that her launch process went smoothly.

Trying not to laugh at her extensive effort to keep much distance between us, I stuffed my hands in my pockets. “I don’t doubt that you can, Ms. Carter.” Aha, there go those pretty brown eyes. “However, to make sure everyone transitions smoothly, all of the lunching staff at all schools and such, I’ll be the familiar face to help you along the way.” Her fresh new bob framed her diamond face perfectly. I wanted to tuck a few strands behind her ear just to get close enough to inhale a whiff of her smell. She smelt so damn good.

Daffodil, cinnamon, and cashmere.

Warm and floral.

A perfect combination for her.

Pinching her lips together, she looked around and then finally at me. For seven seconds our eyes locked before she broke it. “I have your email so I’ll send everything to you and we can go from there. Have a good day, Mr. Reid.” And like that, she was pivoting on those high ass heels and gliding out the room.

But I wanted more.

I made it out in front of the building just in time. Her driver was pulling around the curve and Massey was hugging her goodbye. Seeing me, Massey mouthed she likes you and skipped off.

Confirmation to apply pressure received.

“Ms. Carter.” I stepped up next to her.

The left side of her lip lifted in a quick smirk before her wall came back up. “Yes, Mr. Reid.” Hmm, I loved the way she said my name. She sounded like smooth caramel being spread over hardened chocolate – rich and sultry. From the glimmer twinkling in her eyes, she knew it too. “I’m late for lunch but if you have any questions feel free to…”

“Great. Lunch it is. I haven’t eaten all day.” Taking out my keys, I looked around the open parking lot trying to remember where I parked.

“Wait. That’s not what I meant. It wasn’t an invi…”

Walking toward my car backward, I winked at her wide eyes. “I’ll follow behind your driver.” She looked so cute when flustered. This was the most I’ve had her attention and I wasn’t about to slow it down.

Her driver had pulled up and held the door open for her. Instead of getting in so we could go to lunch, she stood there in shock that I had pulled up behind her and was waiting as I said. Her driver spoke to her and motioned toward me and she shook her head saying whatever was needed for them to pull off.

Blame my sudden need to be impulsive all on her. I’m never this forward or imposing. She had me spending extra time on the phone with Quest trying to explain to him how I felt that I loved a woman who knew nothing about me other than she liked running from me. Most of my answers centered around her and I being kindred spirits, twin flames. Almost like my spirit knew her in a past life and it was getting a second chance to love her again in this lifetime.

How God had answered my prayers when I asked for Him to position my heart in preparation for loving the one whom I was created for. I prayed for it and God answered, yet I questioned it because it seemed unreal that I got exactly what I wanted.

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