Page 22 of Lost In London

Whatever it is I knew that I felt this overwhelming need to protect her. I felt like she was my answer and key. Meaning she’s the reason I am the way I am. I was crafted for her and her needs. That pain in her eyes, the jaded weariness. Usually, I distanced myself from someone with such a heavy, dark spirit on them. When Paxton lost his wife in a car accident, I came to him refusing to bring that type of grief and heaviness into my space.

For me to function at my highest level I have to be in a certain headspace and if my headspace is polluted with other people's issues, I never like the person I become.

But her, oh, I was running headfirst. It’s like I couldn’t get enough of being around whatever she had going on.

“I have to say that I don’t know what to make of this, Mr. Reid.” Pushing her dark shades up on her head, she looked at the restaurant and then back at me. “Are you like this with every outside contract? Always so… so persistent?” She had no idea how persistent I could be and planned on being.

We were standing in front of Kaluze, a downtown riverfront restaurant sitting right on the intercoastal. I’ve been here a time or two. Wasn’t my preference but it was going to be today.

Holding the door open for her, I made sure to answer her right when her ears were close to my lips. “I’m very persistent when it comes to getting what I want. I want you… to have a successful launch so I’m going to make sure I honor that.” There it was again. That quick intake of breath and her peering up at me as if I told her that I can turn her darkest days bright.

Clearing her throat, she walked ahead giving the hostess her name. Resting my hand on her lower back, I quickly removed it when she flinched and stilled. “I’m sorry, London. I didn’t mean to impose like that.”

Blinking rapidly, she rotated her neck before giving me a real smile. She smiled at me. London Nicole Carter smiled at me. “You were being a gentleman. It’s okay.” The tables had turned and now I was quiet, only nodding my understanding.

In such a short, very short moment so much had been revealed to me. One, I got a smile after apologizing for touching her without her consent. That stood out to me and explained how she became tense when I did. Two, after I apologized and put distance between us, she exhaled. Her shoulders dropped their hard edge and she relaxed. She became relaxed once I reset the tone of the room and she was safe again.

Interesting and concerning.

Our hostess took us out on the patio area and guided us to a table where a woman was already sitting. Feeling us approaching she lifted her head and her eyes lit up seeing London. She had that effect on me too. Standing, she opened her arms and hugged her. “Hey, sexy.” Aiming her lips for the corner of London’s mouth, she and I both were surprised to see London shift her head to receive her kiss lips first.

Oh, okay.

They were those types of friends.

“Hey, babe.” London finally spoke while the mystery woman stood shocked but happy as hell that the kiss happened. “Lena, babe, this is Quincey Reid. He’s on the school board and helping me with the launch of the juice bars.” After she looked at me with a smirk teasing her lips and eyes bubbling with arrogance, she introduced me. “Mr. Reid, this is Olena Brown, my girlfriend.”

“Nice to meet you, Quincey.” Hands still wrapped around London, Olena waved.

I’m glad she hadn’t outstretched her hand. Last thing I wanted to be is rude for not shaking it. “Same here.”

“Let’s sit and look at the menu, shall we?” London was in such a bubbly mood now and I get it.

If I was another man, I’m sure I’d sit here in glee that I was witnessing two beautiful lipstick lesbians in the flesh fawn over each other. Olena matched London’s fly and held her own candle in the beauty department. Watching their interaction gave me mixed feelings and not those of defeat. It was all a front. London wasn’t the least bit romantically interested in Olena than I was in finding out how Olena finessed her way into London’s web.

That kiss had opened up Pandora's box that not even London was prepared for or knew what was coming.

The entire time we ordered our food and drinks Olena was very touchy-feely and affectionate. One of her main love languages. London on the other hand wasn’t reciprocating any of it. Her words and actions didn’t align. Never missing good entertainment, I sat back and did what I did best – observed and discerned.

While we ate, I learned Olena’s an executive assistant for a major hedge fund CEO and four years older than London where I was five years older than her. Surprisingly the conversation we had about work and her plans for the juice bars in the schools went a whole lot better than I imagined. She engaged with me and held eye contact. Long periods of eye contact. When I said something funny she laughed and would touch my arm or hand. Several times I peeped Olena watching our exchange and I knew she found a problem with me.

It's so interesting how those in same sex relationships found the opposite sex more threatening to their relationships.

When it came time for the bill to be paid, I took care of it and even ordered London a take-home dish of the dessert she wanted to try. That really made her little girlfriend start side-eyeing me. I had a petty moment once I realized Olena was on a time restriction. She had an hour lunch and needed to be back in the office in the next ten minutes. Instead of suggesting we wrap up lunch and everyone start heading out, I kept London talking about what made her smile permanent – Posh N Juice.

She radiated so much light and happiness. A complete contrast to the dark clouds that trailed behind her any other day.

Finally, after Olena left, London and I decided to leave too. She and I were standing out front of the restaurant waiting for her driver to pull up. “I have to say you surprised me with this one, Ms. London.” I wasn’t known for holding my tongue and I wasn’t about to start just because I crushed on her heavily.

That teasing mischievous smile looked so good on her freshly glossed lips. “How so? Because you thought I was available and clearly, I’m not.” She smiled like she won a victory, and to a certain extent, she did win something.

She won an applause for being a pretender.

The leading lady of my dreams and desires was a complete fraud.

Handing the valet attendant my ticket, I scratched my brow chuckling. “Not at all. You are in fact emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and romantically unavailable.” Yeah, I knew that smirk would fall from those pretty lips. “I’m surprised that you’re comfortable living a lie to suppress and try to temporarily silence your demons.” Turning her way, my body facing her body, I kept my eyes on her even if she looked at everyone but me.

“Lying to yourself to silence the desires and wants you have. See, trauma comes in many forms and it also gives us a false narrative to band-aid our wounds and deal with life just to breathe a little easier. Olena is beautiful and smart but she’s nothing more than your trauma band-aid. Protecting you from the real desires you seek. Giving you a false sense of acceptance of your pain. She protects your scars, hides your wounds, silences those voices.” I paused for a second to wipe a stray tear that fell from her eyes.

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