Page 25 of Lost In London

Calm down, London. Just get your purse and we can leave.

I had to coach myself to relax and not overreact, further making the situation worse. “I can get a ride home. Don’t worry about it.” I reached for my clutch with my phone inside only for him to grab me by the wrist and yank me in the truck. “Let me… go.”

“Shut the fuck up and close the door!” He spat in my face, reaching across my lap to slam the door shut. The diesel engine roared and the vibrations of the music became louder. Gears shifted in anger. Tires screeching down the road. “This what you want? Huh? Dumb broad.” His laughter sounded so sinister making tears prick my eyes.

Stunned that this was happening to me, I sat frozen shaking. His hands grabbed the back of my neck and banged my head on the dashboard. “Agh!” My hands covered my mouth as blood seeped through my fingers.

“You better not get blood on my seat, bitch!” He banged my head again. The salt of my tears and the metallic taste of blood filled my mouth as the shock wore off and fear choked me. I tried to open the door. Banged on the window and started screaming, only pissing him off more. I don’t know how he managed to assault me and drive at the same time.

Wrapping my hair around his fist, he yanked until I cried out in pain. “If you get out of this truck, I will kill you.” Letting go of my hair, he shoved my head into the passenger window.

“I’m going to teach you today, young girl. So stupid. All I had to do was speak a little Jesus and be consistent when all I wanted from you was that sweet nectar. But it’s okay. Today is the day, baby.” He smiled and turned his music up louder. I caught a glimpse of my purse. Fearing he’d probably bang my head again, I just sat and cried praying for God to help me.

I told you he was dangerous. You didn’t listen.

The voice was as loud as the music.

I don’t know how long I sat crying holding my nose as blood soaked my clothes and stained my hands. I don’t know how long I eyed my purse, wishing I had enough courage to grab it. All I needed to do was dial 333 and they’d come to my rescue. They’d save me. That’s all Cassian and Amell said I needed to do if ever I was in danger and needed them.

Finding a small grain of courage, I managed to reach my phone. Shaky fingers reached inside and grabbed my phone bringing it to the right side of me where he couldn't see. Good thing I kept it on vibrate and my light low. After unlocking it I sent my location to Landon with a 911 code. Not seeing the reply bubbles pop up I went to Dre’s contact next. Did the same thing and had no reply.

Elgin was still cussing me out and ever so often slapping me. My vision was so blurry, eyes weighty from swelling up, and all I could taste was the bitterness of my blood. I didn’t want to die like this so I called Landon. I couldn't tell if he answered or not but his call disconnected on its own.

When we pulled up to what looked like a port with a bunch of boats I started to panic even more. There was no one around but us. My brother didn't answer and neither was Dre. I only had one last resort… dial 333 but I never got the chance to type in the numbers. I don’t know when he got out the truck and walked over to my side.

“Please take me home.” I cried when he opened my door.Seeing the phone in my hand got me another punch in the face and my phone snatched.

Ignoring my cries, he grabbed my hair, yanking me out of the truck. “Don’t cry now.” The knees of my jeans ripped as he dragged me across the pavement to the bed of the truck. “Get up there!” He demanded.

“No, please just take me home.”

“No. No. No. Please.”

My body jolted up from the bed. Breathing hard, my chest rising and falling in fast repetitions, sweat dripping down my back and forehead. I looked around the dark room blinking until the familiar smells settled me. Not just the smells but the sounds.

Snoring.

It was Cassian.

I was okay.

I was safe.

It was just a bad dream.

Easing out of bed I walked soundlessly into my walk-in closet, went to the back, deep in the back, grabbed my Snuggie, covered my face, and screamed a muffled scream. Sobbed and screamed.

Elgin accused me of being a tease. Mocked my celibacy and my ring. I had changed. I swear I did. I was tired of having meaningless sex. Am I wrong for wanting more? Am I wrong for wanting a man to find more value in me than what’s between my legs?

Now they tell me I’m rude. When I tried to spare feelings, I got taken advantage of. There would never be a time when miscommunication happened. I kept it honest and straightforward. A straight shooter with no chaser.

Elgin Dubri is the last man on this earth that will ever violate me.

His deception almost cost me my life.

I live in a constant state of anger and confusion. Over the last year every traumatic memory, every moment of abuse, and everything that has caused me pain has uprooted itself from the hidden pockets of my mind and come forth making me relieve things I forgot I experienced or tried to forget. The sad thing about it all came from those I called friends and family. I felt like I was thrown away to the waste side. Discarded like last week's trash. Told to suppress my feelings, that I was okay because I had to condition myself to be that way, to fall in line with what they wanted me to be.

Whenever I spoke up about my suffering they made me feel like it was my fault or like they didn’t care. They questioned me as if I had to be the source of such violence. They made me feel like I had to be extra to get attention. I was tired, so sick and tired of them making me feel a way so I distanced myself from them. Left New York and didn’t have any plans on returning if I could help it. The city that raised me became a trigger for me.

---