Page 26 of Lost In London

Certain family members are triggers for me.

Landon, my only brother, is one of those triggers.

To take my mind off all the depressing sad memories, I got up and started cleaning at four in the morning on a Saturday. Wireless Beats headphones in my ear, my favorite playlist I play in the morning, and in my zone. Before moving down here you would never catch me voluntarily cleaning anything. I had a cleaning service on speed dial back in New York. Now I look forward to it.

I have this crazy obsession with good smelling cleaning chemicals. Gain, Lysol, and Fabuloso were my go-to's. No, I wasn’t boiling Fabuloso on the stove but I had my Gain wax melts in all my candle pots around the house. Cleaning made me happy, made me feel like a whole adult, and it took my mind off what troubled me.

It's crazy how much I’ve changed within the last year. I came down here with a month’s worth of clothes, not even putting a dent into my closet back in New York. Took only the things I couldn’t live without and left it all. The old London would’ve had the rest of my material possessions shipped to me by now.

Nope.

I didn’t want them.

Those clothes were triggers too.

Why would I wear memories of the old me?

Around six Cashton came downstairs already dressed to help me. I never asked the kids to help clean. Cassian never forced them either. They saw that it made me happy and they wanted to assist especially Cash. He was such a young empath and attached himself to those who were sad which I think played a huge part in him and his Papa mending their relationship.

While he went outside to take out the trash and start cleaning the back patio, my two besties came down in their cleaning clothes ready to work too. They also loved cleaning with me. It was such the cutest thing to see them sweep and dust. On most Saturdays, this is how we worked – us cleaning while Cassian slept. He needed his rest and we gave it to him. His days were spent making sure we were all good. So we happily did everything to make his load lighter.

“Lolo, play our song.” Melly started to bounce around in her rain boots. Yes, we cleaned in bright colored rain boots, shorts, and a raggedy shirt with our hair tied up.

Knowing it was going to aggravate Cassian’s soul, I hooked up my phone to the Bluetooth speaker and played Material Girl by Madonna. The original Material Girl. Cleaning spray bottle in my hand, Tai had the broom, and Melly had the duster. We started singing along to the song, dancing around and giving a whole show. This right here took my pain away.

Quincey said a lot of things that were true the other day, a lot of truth in his words but Olena wasn’t my bandaid.

This family was.

Letting our Material Girl playlist play, we finished the entire first floor and went upstairs to clean the rooms. I’ll give it to Tai and Melly. They were OCD and kept a clean room. They loved sorting their clothes and doing laundry. Loved to make their beds and clean our Glam Room.

Finally, around ten, Cassian woke up and watched us while we cleaned up our room. He hugged the girls and moved over to me. Picking me up from the floor where I was sorting their little heels and hugging me. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” Wrapping my arms around his waist, I rested my head in the middle of his chest and exhaled… finally exhaling.

My cleaning therapy wasn’t new to Cassian. He learned early on that this is what helped me get through my moods and clear my headspace. Back then I turned his house into bleach heaven. He never complained or anything. He’d just watch. Standing close so I knew he was there protecting me.

“You needed to rest but I did save those animals for you.” Kissing his cheek, I stepped back giggling at his sour face.

“Them shits shit too much for me. I don’t even shit that much.” He grumbled.

“Ou, Papa, can I help you?” Melly loved animals. Him building that little farm next to his house was her own little paradise. If she wasn’t playing dress up with Tai she was outside with her animals.

“Eww, Melly. Material Girls don’t touch animals or poop.” Tai cringed, making me giggle. That little girl was a trip.

Glaring at me, Cassian scooped Melly up and headed towards the door. “They went from being divas to material girls. Soon they’re going to start claiming to be the presidents of the Beehive.” He stomped out shaking his head. As much as he complained I knew he liked it. As manly as he was his girl’s remained girly, that right there was enough for him to splurge on any ridiculous priced BirkinKor bag and stay up all night painting the bottom of their shoes red.

He was a Girls Dad and loved it.

The girls and I were stocking up the fridge and cabinets with the groceries I ordered when Celine Dion’s Because You Loved Me came on. I stood up straight and looked towards the sliding glass doors leading out to the backyard. Cassian’s head popped in and he gave us that stupid grim.

“Oh, gosh. Here they go.” Tai grumbled.

“I’m going to go get my recorder.” Melly took off upstairs while Tai sat in a chair acting like she wasn’t about to enjoy our grand performance.

Covered in dirt and sweat, Cassian came in singing, “For all those times you stood by me.”

It wasn’t right to leave him hanging when this was our song. “For all the truth that you made me see.”

Never in all my life would I ever imagine a thug dude like Cassian being a fan of Celine Dion let alone knowing ninety percent of her catalog. This song was ours in so many ways. People thought soulmates only came in the form of lovers. No. They came in the form of friends too. Friends who were willing to lay down their life for you.

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