Page 43 of Lost In London

“It started with flowers. You have to water the soil daily. You prune your garden. Pluck out all of the weeds trying to make a home. Give it the right amount of sunshine and protect it from harsh weather. The same effort I do for this garden I do for myself and will do for the woman who is mine.”

Unable to bear it any longer, I moved around the table and squatted down in front of her. Her crossed legs bumped into my chest. Her heeled shoes swayed by my arms. Looking at me with amusement, juices all over her cheek and chin, I did what those before me didn’t do.

I asked permission.

“Can I?” Putting the paper towel down so she wouldn’t confuse the two, I licked my lips in anxiousness.

Midchew, her eyes saucered and she swallowed hard. I could see the fierce beat of her heart through her shirt. She knew what I wanted and I was leaving it up to her to grant me permission. “Yes.” It was a low response but a confident one that held no unsureness.

Grabbing each side of her chair to balance myself, I leaned in and licked her face clean. Started at her chin and worked my way up to that teasing spot at the corner of her lips. Like my brotherhood branded on my arm, I was a true dawg in his element licking his plate clean. Wasn’t long before those shallow breaths of hers became a sweet mixture of moans, giggles, squeals, and laughter. That let me know she was okay with this new level of territory she let me breach.

But of course, I had to take it up a notch and clean her lips too.

Can’t help it, I’m a greedy ass nigga.

Pecks to those plump juicy ass lips, she was in a fit of giggles by the time I pulled away. “Can I take you out on a date?”

Receiving the wet napkin I handed her, her giggles slowed and her eyes began that wild blinking she did when thinking deep. “Um, can you repeat that?”

Smirking, I did exactly what she asked. “Can I take you out on a date next weekend?”

“Um…”

“Next week Saturday at 7 pm. Meet me at…”

“Meet you?” She crossed her arms slightly offended.

Standing, I took her trash and bagged it up. I hated for ants and flies to have a field day in my zen spot. “You were barely comfortable following me here so I know you won’t feel comfortable telling me where you live.” Though I already knew she lived on the Kalmin compound out in Davie on the Indian Reservation. One day she’d have to tell me the story behind that.

“Tell me why you invited me here and I’ll give you an answer.”

Right, I forgot about that.

Looking out at my blessing of a home I had to take a few minutes to think before I spoke. I know how I am. I can be very headstrong and intense and the last thing I wanted to do was to run her off scared of me but I wasn’t about to mince my words. I never have.

“At first, I didn’t know why I was bringing you here except I felt a pull to.” Turning to her, I could see her holding her breath. “The closer we got it became clear. I had to show you what happens when you have the right gardener tending to your seed.” Going back to my original spot kneeling before her, I took her trembling hands in mine and gave it to her how it was given to me. “You’re seed, London and I want to help you grow.” Her gasp and eyes becoming moist with tears should've alarmed me but they didn’t.

“I know how to water you with love and feed you spiritually. I know how to pluck out all the weeds of your past and present trying to taint your mission and purpose. Trust me, baby. I'm the king of boundaries and keeping them. No is a complete sentence. I don't mind at all telling a motherfucker to mind their business or that I’m cutting them off because they aren’t adding any value to my life. I can’t make people do right by me but I damn sure can control if I want them in my life or not. What that means for you is that I’m all the muscle you need to handle any dirty weeds trying to weed their way into your life.

“I know how to give you the sunlight you need to thrive and also protect you from the harsh weather. This collaboration of us working together is a clear indication that our purposes align.” Looking down at our hands intertwined, I waited for my heart to slow but it never did. A warmth set a flame in the middle of my chest as I struggled to remain calm by the transferring of energies happening between us.

“London.” Resting my forehead on our hands, I had to take a deep breath. Everything she was feeling in this moment, every feeling of doubt, shame, and fear. The burdens she carried were so heavy. “Baby, you aren’t empty.” Gasping softly, she dropped her head, resting her cheek against mine. “That hollow feeling you feel is seed.” Lifting my head and cupping her face in my palms, I placed my lips over hers and waited until she parted them so I could speak and breathe life into her.

“Fighting to stay alive when the world has been so cruel, that’s seed. Being selfless to kids and others in need, that’s seed. Having the patience to endure trials and tribulations while you wait to see what God is going to do in your life. Overcoming the feeling like He has forgotten about you and pressing forward each day, that’s seed.” Her lips trembled and the salt of her tears tried to break our lip barricade. “Think about the beginning of creation when God created the heavens and the earth. How he commanded that it bring forth fruit. When you step into the alignment of your purpose and destiny, those seeds will become the fruit of an overflowing harvest. It’s time for you to decide, London.”

Pulling back from me, she blinked those red eyes in confusion. “Decide what?”

Licking my lips, I looked up to the heavens because this was so heavy but I knew it was necessary. “I don’t know what happened to you.” Risking it, I kept my eyes on her and rolled up the sleeves of her blouse. Her lips trembled and eyes squeezed shut. Kissing each scar, I hoped a breakthrough took place. “But you standing here with me is a testament to your strength and willingness to not give up. It took hard work for you to stand again, I’m sure, so don’t let your hard work go to waste because you’re scared. Your past doesn’t define you. How it started isn’t any indication of how it will end.”

“Quin… I…” Her head dropped to the center of my chest as these bone-chilling sobs breached her lips and punched against my eardrums. Out of the corner of my eye, Benny ran around my house, his steps slowing once he took in the full picture of what was happening.

My hold on her tightened and tightened with each puncture her sobs caused to the middle of my chest. Being yoked, equally yoked to your person. The person God specifically created for you, the things they felt became your sensations too. It’s like I was with her enduring the suffering and abuse. No matter how intense the heaviness became, how overwhelming it felt, how much my eyes stung and the corners became damp, I never let her go.

“I know the cost of what comes with surrendering. I know the pains associated with growing. I know what loneliness feels like. I know how painful it is to stay in that position of submission to gain more. I know because I tasted the flavors of it. I know how to treat what you give me with care. It’s not going to be easy, London. It will never be easy. But I give you my word that I will walk this walk with you. I will plant with you, nurture you, and nourish you. You invest your trust and time into me, into us. I don’t take that gift and stewardship lightly.”

The sun had begun to set by the time her sobs turned to hiccupped sniffles. Benny and I kept watch over her, protecting her and waiting to do whatever she needed at her command. My shirt had a large wet spot but I didn’t care. Lifting her head, she accepted the paper towel in my hand and wiped her face. Her eyes were puffy and red. The tip of her cute little round nose was red too. Creases from my shirt whelped on her forehead.

“Next week Saturday at 7 pm. Text me the location and I’ll be there.” Sealing our date with a promise, she leaned in and rested her lips against mine. Breathing in my air to relax her body. “Thank you so much. One day I’ll give you a story about my life. Maybe we can share that moment back here under the stars.”

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