Page 53 of Lost In London

This was progress.

Our drive was filled with neo-soul music, occasional conversation, and the reassurance of his touch. There are times when I can be clingy. Not just with my lover but with people in general whom I found safety in. When I shifted in my seat to angle my body comfortably to loop my arm around his, he didn’t pull away. He used the same hand of the arm I was holding to grip my thigh.

We shared the same love language but with him he made it feel normal and safe.

“Our walk isn’t far. Are you okay with that?” He stood by my door helping me out of his car.

We’d just parked in the downtown garage. Since it was a little after six-thirty in the evening, the busyness of downtown was in full effect.

“I’m perfectly fine. Though I may have to bribe you for a foot rub later on.” I winked stepping out and into his personal space.

I couldn’t help myself. Rather my hands couldn’t behave. They lifted and found peace in their new favorite space – his chest. I tried to stop them but they kept wondering and exploring. Then my nose decided it wasn’t satisfied with just smelling his scent from afar.

Oh, no.

That homegirl wanted an up close and personal experience and got her wish when I leaned in until I came in contact with his skin. Those unbuttoned buttons worked in my favor. He was warm and smelled so spicy. Smelled like a man but those subtle spices in his cologne were my moans undoing.

Quincey Reid made me feel the opposite of everything I tried to hold onto.

With him, I was needy and clingy. Not just to him physically but to everything he had to offer.

I was needy to explore the rivers and valleys of his mind. Clingy to his spiritual gifts so they could cling to me and somehow erase what I felt was broken. Needy to learn from the multidimensional man that had a heavy walk and could rock me to sleep just from the girth of his arms. Clingy to his valor and honor as a man so his strength could rub off on me.

“Like what you smell?”

My face vibrated from his deep chuckles. To hear the sound of his voice through his chest… my goodness. It sounded like the sweetest, sexiest lullaby in the world.

Venturing my hands under his shirt, my hands trembled feeling the contact of his warm soft skin. Was it weird that I felt so consumed with being in his arms that my emotions started to shift and behind my eyelids moisture was pooling? Do you know how long I’ve dreamed of this? Dreamed of what this would feel like? To be in the arms of a man that truly cared for me?

God, thank you.

“Keep talking to me. I love hearing how your voice sounds coming from your chest.” I could fall asleep right here. That’s how content I felt.

His stomach clenched and a shiver rolled over his body. Damn, did I cause that? Rubbing my back and squeezing my waist, he said, “We’re going to be late.”

I didn’t care if we were late or missed whatever reservation he planned. I wanted to stay in my new favorite safe space. But, I couldn’t be selfish. “Fine. We can… ooouuu. Is that what I think it is?” My fingers had brushed across puckered skin. Gliding the tips of my fingers along its curve and dip, I stepped back with wide eyes. “Are you a Que?”

He smiled that panty dropper smile and my knees knocked and my heart skipped a beat. “Till I die.” Keeping a hand wrapped around my waist he used the other to throw up his frat hand sign and stuck out his tongue. When he barked… I had to find a bathroom cause that turned me on so damn bad. “Omega Psi Phi till I die, baby.” I yelped when he let down his hand and smacked my booty. “Let’s go, Lolo.” He winked locking the doors.

All I could do was stand there stunned. There were so many layers to this man and I’m beyond blessed to experience them all. Damn sure wasn’t expecting him to be frat affiliated but it was a nice plus. A very nice added bonus. I’ve been to my share of frat parties while in college. I was very familiar with the fraternity and their reputation, and to know that he was one of them… Lord, you heard my prayers.

Pausing, his face turned serious as he looked me over. Before he could utter the apology I cleared the air. “I’m fine. I promise you I am. Trust me, I liked it. I’m not toting much back there but I can work with what I got. That was sexy to me.” Easing back in his space, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pecked his lips hoping that his frown would turn into a smile.

“Contrary to the reputation of my frat, I’m not usually that impulsive but seeing how you lit up when you felt my brand. It got the best of me and I reacted before I could stop myself.” He looked ready to take me home and I found myself falling for him even more.

This man was ready to end our date because he was afraid I’d grown uncomfortable from a booty slap. One, it wasn’t intentional like he was around here just handing out ass-jiggling slaps. Two, I found so much enjoyment in it because it showed me another layer of the man who was bombarding his way into my heart. Not my life but my heart.

She was once a frozen hollow vessel living in a world of nothingness and here he comes thawing it out by being himself. Not just a man that had the sorcery to snatch panties with his charging words and spiritual wisdom, but his actions aligned too.

Stepping back and taking his hands in mine, I affirmed him that I was okay. “Quincey Reid, I feel safe.” His jaw clenched and the firmness he once held my hand loosened. “Hold my hand as you normally would.” It took a few seconds but he did. “I feel safe with you, Quincey. I feel overly protected with you. I feel that way because for the first time in a long time I feel peace.” When his eyes became hooded and his lips slightly parted, I knew I needed to hurry up and stop testing this man’s restraints.

“Outside of Cassian I haven’t felt comfortable and vulnerable enough to be myself around men. I damn sure wasn’t looking them in the eyes.” He and I shared a laugh because before this you couldn’t pay me to look him in the eyes whenever we had board meetings. “With you, I feel soooo happy and I know that’s premature to say because we’re still getting to know each other but the happiness I feel comes from not being so concerned with my safety and keeping my walls up, but feeling so happy that I can breathe. I’m able to breathe and feel all things good. I’m…”

Father God, I don’t understand why you aligned my path with this man when I’m not fully healed but I thank you. Teach me. Show me. Help me to understand how to love him. History shows I’m not good at relationships but that was before I knew you for myself. I’m asking for guidance and instruction. Give me clarity if he was sent by you or the enemy. Confirm to me in ways that only I will know he is my forever. Amen.

Who prays in the middle of being kissed? Me.

I never saw the true value and understood the intimacy of kissing until Quincey. Kissing him, I learned it was another form of communication and a way to connect with your lover. With his hands holding my face, our lips touching, and tongues stroking.

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