Page 55 of Lost In London

Inside the gondola, there were more rose petals and flowers. Lanterns and soft jazz playing. He even had a charcuterie board with my favorite wine. Every time I blinked his thumb wiped a droplet tear. I wasn’t emotional out of sadness, truly a first. I was emotional because for the first time in my life I felt worthy.

Worthy of this man. Worthy of my future. Worthy to be alive.

Snuggling up in his chest as we set out, I lifted my head and gave what he had given me. I spoke life and appreciation for his actions through the power of my tongue. Our kiss didn’t get heavy like it had in the parking lot. But it was enough because he understood my message.

“This is only the beginning.” He promised.

“I’m ready.” And I was.

Where much is given much is required.

I don’t think people fully understood the weight associated with that. The average person can’t comprehend the capacity of the selflessness that goes into pouring into others until they’re refilled because you’ve been called to do so. Even if that means emptying one’s own cup to fill another.

Between taking a last minute flight to North Carolina to not only clear the debris between Paxton and I, but the person I had to see was Jacolby and that alone took a lot out of me. None of my family outside of my brothers knew I’d come into town last weekend. Not even my parents. Then to add to the weight of the weariness resting on my shoulders, London and Andrea decided to tag along.

Any other day, I wouldn’t be so burdened down by being in London’s presence but when God was calling me to speak with someone. To pour into them until their cup runneth over. Last thing I wanted her to feel was neglected but to my surprise, she didn’t. She felt empowered to witness my conversation with Jacolby. Her presence had become the energetic boost I needed to push forward when I felt like pushing backwards.

Then to see how God was continuing to confirm her place in my life by merging her business with Jacolby.

I’d ask London to marry me today if I think she’d say yes.

“You must be ready for the summer, Quincey. I can see the tiredness written all over you. Those kids are working you gray.” My mother’s need to break the tension she caused was becoming an annoyance.

Her presence in general was an issue.

My parents have had their Palm Gardens home for years. When they both retired I honestly thought they’d move there but that would mean my mother wouldn’t be able to feed her selfish need for control by being so far away from Maverick and the rest of her sons she thought she could control.

Not liking my lack of response and the lack of response from my brothers too, she shifted her conversation to one of the two unwanted guests.

“Have you seen the new vintage Chanel purses that will be released in the fall, India? I have my eye on a few of them.”

Yep, India was sitting at the table with my family like this was a normal thing we did. But not only did my mother invite my ex to this last minute BBQ but she also invited Shannon. The woman she was trying to hook Quest up with.

Earlier this week my mom called to inform me that her and my dad had just got in town and wanted to have a BBQ. Cool. Fine. Didn’t see a problem with it. Quest had been back for a minute now and my mother had been calling him every day to see when he was going to make his way to North Carolina. He had no plans at all to leave Florida until he got his situation with Dove straight.

Anyway, my brothers and I met up this morning to have breakfast and play basketball. Dad even joined us. We were having a good time and I was starting to regret being distant from my family until we walked in my parent's house to see the two additional faces that weren’t invited by the two people they were connected to.

For my mother to invite India here without consulting me first was disrespectful and a continued slap in the face that she cared nothing about my feelings but her own. Thinking she has the power and control to put us back together was disrespectful and narcissistic.

Even Jacolby had gotten out of dodge when she realized what my mother had done. She was no longer interested in being a part of whatever scheme my mother had planned. She ended up hanging with London and Andrea.

Looking everywhere but at me, India cleared her throat and answered my mom with a wide smile. “Actually, I haven’t. I’ll have to go online and ch…”

I had enough.

I couldn’t continue to sit here fuming, trying to be the bigger person and keep my mouth closed.

“I’ve asked you several times to stay out of my personal life and you keep showing me that you don’t care and will continue to ignore everything I ask to please yourself.” I cut India off focusing on my mother.

My tone wasn’t brash or harsh like I wanted it to be. What little bit of respect I had left was holding on by a thread.

Shifting my eyes to India, I asked her the same thing. “What reason did she give you to make you think it was okay for you to be here when I specifically made it crystal clear that we’re done, India? If you two wanted to discuss fashion or whatever frivolous things, I’ve asked repeatedly for you to do it when I’m not around.”

Everyone stopped eating.

The attention wasn’t on me but mom, who had the nerve to look shocked by what I said. Not even the crow's feet wrinkling at the corner of her eyes built enough sympathy for me to let it go. I was sick and tired of these games.

Blinking slow, mom raised her fifth glass of wine and looked over at my dad who was also looking at her with a look of frustration. “Last time I checked this was my house and I could invite whoever I pleased.”

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