Page 56 of Lost In London

Hmm.

So this is the game she wants to play.

“Until you confront your own demons and childhood traumas you won’t know a single moment of peace.” Quest tossed his napkin on the table, eyes on dad but words to mom.

Long ago Quest stopped directing his frustrations to mom when it came to her ways. He started addressing the man of their household - dad. He felt like she was a lost cause and he was our last hope.

“And before you try to use scriptures on me let me stop you before you go on a tangent misquoting God’s word.” My chest tightened from the glare Quest rested on her. “If my days on earth will be shortened for not honoring my mother and father, then so will yours because God also instructs parents to not provoke their children. Knowing that you intentionally provoke us to wrath, I don’t feel obligated to listen to your order.” Rising from his seat, Quest looked at Shannon.

“As I’ve said when you and I met, Annette does not order my steps nor does she tell me what to do. I told you that if you wanted to get to know me then get to know me outside of her. This is not how you present yourself to have me interested in you. I’m a grown ass man. My parents don’t chaperone my dates, they don’t give me a curfew nor do they have a say when it is time for me to make love to you. You’re showing me already that you’ll run to the last person I have respect for in hopes they can provide some form of insight on how to teach you how to handle me or think she can correct my errors.” He chuckled bitterly. “This conversation could’ve happened in private. My parents are never privy to my personal affairs but you wanted them in it, so be it. Say your goodbyes to my family. I’ll be waiting by the door.”

Kameron tried to hide his laughter. Paxton was shaking his head and texting on his phone, probably giving Jacolby a play-by-play of what just happened. Kandon looked amused but didn’t overly show it. And me, I sat feeling like boulders were resting on my shoulders.

Rising, I sighed and took one look at India. I didn’t have to give a speech like Quest. She hopped up quick and followed me out to the front door. Quest and Shannon were by her car and we could hear her pleading with him to find understanding in her reasoning for showing up.

“I’m sorry, Quincey. To be honest I didn’t even feel comfortable coming here but your mom pressured me to come.” India’s eyes held a sincerity that I found comfort in knowing she wasn’t fully, if at all to blame. “She kinda got my hopes up thinking she’d be able to do something that we haven’t tried. What? I don’t know.”

“I’m sure. Regardless of the situation, you out of all people know the truth about my feelings when it comes to her especially pertaining to my personal life. I didn’t have her in our relationship when we dated. Why would I change that after the fact? Our lines won’t be blurred because she wants to poke where she’s not welcomed, India. Drive safely.” I left it at that because thinking of how this would have turned out if London was with me had me boiling in rage.

Four is the number of times India’s paths crossed with my mom. Only four times and neither were longer than a few hours. Even when I proposed my parents knew nothing about it. While my relationship with my dad was different, I still kept him at arm’s length because he’d tell her everything I told him. His stance on ‘no secrets’ in their marriage created a wedge between him and his sons that I loathed.

Yes, he’s her husband first and our dad second but he’d rather have a strained relationship with us than a true bond for the sake of feeding his wife’s gluttony for control.

“Here.” I’d zoned out completely, I hadn’t noticed Quest standing next to me. “It’s not done but for what you’ll soon need it for it won’t matter.” He handed me the gold key and at first, I stared at it unsure of what it could unlock until I remembered his new home.

“Thanks,” I grumbled, shoulders dropping lower as we headed back into the house.

Before we made it past the front door threshold, his heavy hand stopped me in my tracks. “I got you, Qu. I’ll carry this burden for you.” Not moving until he saw some form of relief shake off me. I appreciated his understanding more than anything. I was spiritually and mentally exhausted. Taking on a fight with our mom would deplete me completely.

Our steps quickened hearing raised voices.

“You have no direction. Everything with you is a joke. Sometimes I wish I never…”

“It would behoove you to think before you speak because if you say what I think you’re going to say, there won’t be no coming back from that.” Quest took a protective stance, blocking her view of Kameron whose focus was on Paxton. Kandon sat in a bewildered daze.

I wonder what she said to him.

There wasn’t much anyone could say to knock Kameron off his square. His playful nature and ability to let the words of others roll off his back is who he is and always been. Rarely did he get upset but when he did he had to center himself by meditating deep within himself. Anxiety attacks used to be a common daily occurrence for him until he started traveling and being out on his own.

Being away from the overbearing hand of our mother.

Beyond tipsy, mom stumbled and swayed when she stood. Of course, dad shot to his feet to help her. “I’m sick and tired of you ungrateful assholes.” She slurred. “This is my house and I can invite whoever I damn well please.”

The tips of my ears became warm and a cold chill sat on the back of my neck. An all time tale of my discernment warning me to leave because she was about to become nasty with her words.

Moving next to Kameron I leaned down and spoke to him directly. “No one defines who you are but you. You face challenges with strength and resilience. You exude excellence. Your vulnerability is your strength.” I used his same daily affirmations that he said to himself to shake him out of the cloud he put himself in to ignore her.

Once I saw his lips moving, saying them himself, Paxton and I both sighed in relief when he blinked rapidly and exhaled.

I envied his gift to get lost in his meditation. He centered himself so deeply within that pulling him out sometimes took hours of patience or in this case the right words.

Standing and stretching, he looked around the dining room like it was his first time here and smiled wide as hell. “Aye, y’all wanna go to Smittys? Tonight is spades, karaoke, and $.99 cent wings.” Patting his pockets, he grabbed his phone and looked at us. “We rolling out or what? Parentals, it’s never been nice but I’ll catch y’all later. I call front seat in Quest’s truck.” This fool took off running like a kid and all we could do was laugh.

“I’ll be outside waiting.” Paxton chuckled, heading out with Kandon following.

As soon as those two left the energy in the room shifted once again. Mom was a drunken ball of rage. Dad stood with annoyance that he could only blame himself for, and Quest looked relaxed but he was far from it. He hasn’t taken his eyes off mom since we came back in the house.

“Both of you think you’re better than me. Think that you can tell me what to do.” Snatching her arm out of dad’s grasp, she made her way over to Quest and started jabbing her finger in his chest as she began to yell.

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