Page 59 of Lost In London

There was a time when I couldn’t answer that question but after surviving all of the apocalypses in my life, my trials and tribulations, it became easier and less superficial about the man I deserved and desired.

It took a lot of prayer and patience to get me out of my dark days. Cassian can attest to that. Though my prayer life just recently shifted and God and I were on a talking basis again, Cassian had stepped in as my conduit and covered me.

Eyes blazed with anger seared daggers of venom through me. No matter how many ice-cold glasses of water she drank, it never was enough to burn out her rage.

“You’re a piece of work, you know that?” She seethed bitterly, fingers wrapped loosely around the steam of her flute. “You should become a comedian.”

Did I miss the joke?

She asked me what I wanted and now my words were enough to get me an opening lineup for a comedy skit?

“What’s so funny?” I don’t think my eyes could’ve rolled harder.

“You.” Her lips popped. “Did you hear any of what you just said?”

So now I’m a comedian and deaf.

“Yes, I did.” I was beyond annoyed. Looking over at the bar I locked eyes with Benny and waited for him to acknowledge my raised brow. Once he nodded and stood, I gave what little bit of attention I had left to give to Olena. As soon as he texted me that he pulled the truck up, I was leaving.

“You told me you wanted a man, London. Everything you mentioned was connected to you and a man, not me.”

Oh.

Yeahhhhh, she’s right.

What could I say? Absolutely nothing because I said what I said.

“This isn’t fair to me, London.” Long lashes blinked, making me envious of her technique of perfecting the perfect eye wing. “And I know what I signed up for but I have feelings too and before you hurt me further by getting involved with Quincey, let’s end this now.”

She was a day late and a dollar short.

I was more than involved.

I was slowly becoming obsessed with the man who preferred to send me voice notes instead of texts. Obsessed with the man who saw through me and didn’t run at the sight of seeing my brokenness. Obsessed with life being spoken into me through the plumpness of his lips.

I was more than involved.

I was falling in love… real bad.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I went the honest route. “I’m sorry. I really am. He came out of nowhere smelling all good, looking good, and not at all afraid to take on my mess. Ugh… I tried to… he just… I feel so…”

We shared a laugh that eased away all of my discomfort and building anxiety.

Reaching across the table, I gave her my hands this time with no resistance. “Give him a fair chance, London. Not every man has ill intentions.” Seeing her eyes full of genuine happiness made me smile.

“I know and I will.” I squeezed her hand in reassurance. “I don’t deserve it but thank you for understanding.”

Kissing the back of my hand, she released my hand as our plates were brought out. “You’ve been honest with me from the beginning. Though I knew our time would be short, I didn’t think it would be this short.” She shrugged, lifting her glass to have it refilled.

I waited until we were left alone before speaking on what’s been on my mind since the party. “I’m sure Julianna will be happy since it’s painfully obvious that she’s in love with you.” Cutting into my steak I kept my eyes on her not wanting to miss her reaction.

Her lips curved in a teasing smile and I couldn’t help but stretch mine. “She confessed her love for me a few days ago. We kissed and almost had sex but I wanted to have a conversation with you first because if this between us had the potential to go further,” she shrugged. “I was going to choose you.” She blew me a kiss, making me blush and giggle.

The girl had a charm and finesse that I’d miss.

“Dinner and drinks are on you.” She held up her flute for a toast. “To embracing love no matter what it looks like.”

I liked that. “Cheers.”

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