Page 68 of Lost In London

Blushing, Dove looked over at Quest and swooned. “I’ve been in love with that man since I was nineteen years old. He’s my best friend, my homie, and my confidant. He’s my joy in chaos. My peace that makes no sense. No matter who has tried to destroy my peace and snatch my crown, he’s always been there to fix what others tried to break.”

Why did it sound like she was talking about me and Quincey?

Looking over at Quincey laughing with his brother, I understood her completely. Just how Quest was heaven’s gift to her, Quincey was heaven’s gift to me.

I didn’t miss that she never answered my question about the status of their relationship either.

“You're talking about me but let me find out we’re about to have a fall wedding with you and Quincey.” We laughed and that started the beginning of our conversation.

Talking to Dove made me think about Andrea. They shared a similar spirit. Such welcoming energy and positive vibrations. You would’ve thought we were old friends catching up. Even when the guys came back with our food, after Quincey blessed it she and I continued talking. Seeing her draw out my idea of the custom pieces I wanted on her iPad had me in awe. Dove had a talent and an eye for intricate details like I’d never seen before.

Hours had passed and she began closing up for the day. We exchanged numbers and made plans to have brunch that following Saturday at Foxy Brown. I really wanted to invite her to Sunday brunch with me and Aziza but I had to run that by the First Lady first before extending the invite. Quincey had a school board meeting and I headed back to my juice bar.

Nothing filled me with more pride than seeing my hard work and baby packed on a Thursday evening. I waved to the faces I knew and spoke to my staff on my way to my office. But, of course, the day couldn’t be completely perfect. There had to be a dark cloud ready to rain on my happiness.

“Your girlfriend has you glowing. Isn’t that cute.”

I made a mental note to tell my staff not to let Landon in my office if I wasn’t here.

Trading in my stilettos for my crocs, I relaxed in my chair and sighed. Though his presence annoyed me, it wasn’t enough to break my joy. “Yes, he does have me glowing. I’ll be sure to tell him that you complimented the evidence of his love.”

With a face of disgust, he snorted, shaking his head. “So now you’re bisexual.”

“What I am is none of your business.” I snapped back.

When did Landon and I get to this place? A place of judgment and ridicule.

“I don’t understand you, London.” He rested his arms on his knees pulling on his beard. “You’ve yet to reach out and apologize for the embarrassment you caused me. When was the last time you’ve come to see your nephew? You never answer my calls. Then you get caught up in that shit show of a relationship with that girl and once again I’m left to clean up your mess. Why are you even still down here?” He seethed angrily.

Wow.

Why are you even still down here?

That cut deep and hurt.

I sat in shock that my brother had such a distaste for me. And these were his sober thoughts. God forbid he’s drunk and tries to break me down worse.

My heart didn’t race. My breathing was leveled. No sign of tears. I felt okay. Yeah, I was okay. The old London would’ve become a crying mess screaming and cussing him out in a childish manner that would’ve justified his words. But this London, oh, I had the time.

“First of all, I don’t have to apologize for a damn thing.” His eyes widened. My tone was calm and confident. “It is not my job to live my life according to anyone’s terms but my own. And what embarrassment have I caused you? Dating whomever I choose? So now I’m supposed to live to please others?” I snorted. He had me royally fucked up. “And what do you mean why am I still down here? Damn, Landon. Tell me that you don’t want me around your precious family and stop sugarcoating it.”

“That’s not what I meant.” He shot up to his feet and I gracefully stood to mine.

“It is what you meant. You’re so used to being the one to clean up my messes, right? Fix whatever the blogs say but tell me this when was the last time you read a blog about me other than the one from a few weeks ago? Or when was the last time I asked you for anything?” Now that part my voice did raise an octave.

I became so angry that these people, these people that were supposed to be my family, thought my life was theirs to control and dictate. People showed you their true colors when you went against the grain of what they considered perfection. I’ve had to block so many of my family members because half of them were texting me my first class ticket to hell. Others were projecting their fears and insecurities of being themselves onto me. A few were calling me names and cursing my future.

“How about you stop being so self-centered and ask me questions that matter? Like London, how is it going with your program? How are you doing mentally? What’s new in your life? I guess anything normal would be foreign to you. How is it that you can give yourself grace and forgiveness for your past but you can’t extend the same to me? I can give two shits what those people you call family think of me but you, you’re my brother. Our family showed me a long time ago what blood being thicker than water meant.”

Ugh, I hated him and the switch of mood he caused me to have.

I was happy. Floating on a cloud of joy and here he comes with his big ass head trying to tear me down.

For what?

What was all of this for?

What benefit did he get by trying to bring me down?

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