Page 99 of Lost In London

“She’s not with me but if your daddy says it’s fine, she can come over to your house.” It was hard to speak calmly to her. She wasn’t to blame at all.

Why would he make it seem like I was keeping London hostage or I was this mean Grinch keeping her away from them?

He was fucked up for that.

I wanted to forget all about my purpose for even coming here and go home to my woman and tell her to fuck that nigga. If he couldn’t accept her happiness then he didn’t deserve to be in her life at all.

“Really?” Tai squeaked. “I’m going to ask Papa.” She took off towards the back running.

“I drew her a picture. Can you give it to her?” Melly questioned with those sad eyes.

“Yes, I will.”

“Yay! It’s in my backpack. Don’t leave, okay?”

“I promise, I won’t.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Right after she bent the corner her father came stalking out with a mug that was supposed to frighten me, I guess. We weren’t chest to chest but we damn sure was eye to eye and not an ounce of fear pumped in my heart for this man.

“NewNew, watch the girls for me.” He tossed over his shoulder, not breaking eye contact.

“Okay, Boss.”

I didn’t have time for the games or his antics. Going outside, I walked until I made it to the parking lot. I don’t know what was going through Cassian’s head but I was ready for whatever pressure he had sitting on his chest.

“She sent you up here thinking that…” He started going off once we were out of earshot.

One thing he wasn’t going to do was talk about London in any way that discredits the integrity of her name.

“I’d like to thank you for loving my woman back to safety so I could love her back to confidence.” He wasn’t expecting that. I’d disarmed him quick. “You helped prepare her for me and for that I am grateful. You helped her find hope in love again. That’s all you but this, you punishing her for what the trauma you’re still carrying around is wrong and you know it.”

London and I have never pillow talked about any of the Kalmin’s. She’ll tell me stories about her adventures with the kids and how her brunch went with the ladies, but she never delved into sharing their personal business because it wasn’t hers to tell regardless if I’m her man or not. Her friends trusted her and told their secrets and she honored that.

Staring at him, I discerned his entire life through his eyes. The two orbs he used to make a weak man cower. He can probably command an attire army with his persona but I wasn’t one of his foot soldiers waiting to do his bidding. I saw Cassian. I saw what he feared. Anyone else would find out and that’s his hurt and pain.

I saw little boy Cassian dealing with abandonment.

I saw grown man Cassian dealing with the lies and deceit of his wife.

I saw him afraid that he was failing as a parent.

London didn’t have to tell me any of that. I saw it in him.

“We’ve been engaged for almost two weeks now and she hasn’t stopped crying.” I moved closer, invading all of his personal space. “You told me that if I couldn’t love her how she deserved or if ever she became too much to give her back. How is it that I’m able to honor your request but you can’t? She has cried herself to sleep every night in sadness because we’re going to get married and you, her most important person second to me, won’t be there. Your kids won’t be there. Does it satisfy you that much to make her suffer for the actions of every woman before her?”

Mommy issues.

Abandonment.

It seeped from his pores.

His head sagged to the left as he flicked his nose. “And what about my kids? I’m supposed to just let her walk in and out of their lives? My nigga, I don’t care how you wanna parent your kids but I’m not going to do that to them. She made her choice and we weren’t it.”

“What do you mean what about your kids?” I seethed, head pounding. “When has she ever neglected those kids? When has she neglected you? Regardless of the matter, those kids aren’t hers but she stepped in and made them hers without having to be asked. They aren’t looking for someone to replace their mother, you are.” I was so angry with him that I started shaking. “You moved her into your house and into your bedroom because it took away the void of your wife. For a year she laid next to you, fed you, went on dates with you, and cared for your children. Only thing she wasn’t giving you was sex but overall, Cassian, she filled a void. A temporary void. She silenced the reality of you being alone. She made you forget that you’d once again been abandoned in the name of love.”

“Look,”

---