Page 67 of Fighting for Scarlett

Zip.

Zilch.

Zero.

And her confidence had taken a serious beating. Things with Tate were so new, and their history, while short, was extremely bumpy, and they weren't at a place yet where she could just trust in him.

Still, she looked up and met his gaze as he glanced away from the road and over to her.

“Do you want me to be the kind of man who would have sex with you after you told me how you were assaulted without you giving me the green light?”

“I … uh … umm … didn't think of it like that,” she finished lamely. She’d been too busy thinking of how Tate must think less of her now because he hadn't tried to make any moves on her. But he was right. She’d confessed to him how she’d been violated, made to feel things she hadn't wanted, and while no one had touched her, men around her had been getting themselves off and coming on her.

That was a violation.

An assault.

And she’d been too wrapped up in it to be able to think clearly about what might be going through Tate’s mind.

That was unfair of her.

If she’d wanted to make love to him then she could have made that clear. It was just that …

Asking for what she wanted was never something that was encouraged in her childhood.

As a kid, nobody cared what she wanted. She was expected to be the good little soldier. Get perfect grades, do her chores, work hard, not cause problems, not answer back. There had never been a time when she was encouraged to speak up.

A habit that needed to be broken.

“I just assumed that you were … I don’t know … repulsed maybe by what I'd told you,” she admitted.

“Repulsed?” Tate sounded both shocked and horrified by the idea. “Not repulsed. Never repulsed. I was angry, furious, with Raul and that he would do that to you. I felt sick that you were subjected to that. I was helpless that I couldn’t erase it from your mind and make it like it never happened. And I was filled with this need to hold you, soothe you somehow, maybe make things a little better just by being there. But instead, I failed you again.”

“No,” she said quickly, squeezing the fingers tangled with hers. “I got stuck in my own head, because maybe … I'm the one who’s … repulsed by what happened.”

“You don’t have any reason to be, sweetheart. You didn't do anything wrong.”

“In my head I know that, but part of me is still back in that room, naked and chained to the chair, pleading for a touch I didn't want because I knew it was the only thing that would make the pain and need go away. I don’t … I don’t know how to get past it,” she whispered, embarrassed to be having this conversation with a man she barely knew and who just a couple of days ago, would have sworn hated her.

“Time. I know it sounds overly simplistic, but the thing is, it really is only going to take time. It won't ever completely go away, but time will give you perspective and that will help. You're also not alone. I get that we don’t know each other that well yet, and that I've given you no reason to trust me so far, but you have a team of friends who have your back and a whole family at Prey who believe in you. You don’t have to go and tell them everything but don’t shut them out. I hope you won't shut me out either. I'm trying. I might not be good at this, and I’ll probably keep messing up, but I am trying.”

He sounded so sincere that she immediately felt even worse for being mad at him when he was only trying to handle a situation neither of them had been prepared for.

“I know you are.” The smile she shot him was genuine, and she hoped he knew how much she appreciated him traversing this road with her. “I'm trying, too. I guess this is new for both of us. I might have been in serious relationships before, but this feels so different. Feels so big.”

“Huge,” he agreed.

For a while, they were content to just hold hands as they drove through the wintery morning. The location they’d been told to meet at was a park on the outskirts of the city. It was a regular with dog walkers in particular, but also runners, walkers, and cyclists. Scarlett had been out there a few times with Lucy, taking her friend’s fluffy poodle for walks.

The place was packed in the middle of summer, but as they approached the parking lot on this cold, blustery winter’s day there wasn’t another car in sight.

A weird feeling settled in her stomach.

And not a good feeling.

Something was wrong.

Of course, she knew they were walking into a trap, she just didn't care. Between Tate and her, she was sure that whoever the mole was they’d be able to take them. Even if a few of Raul’s men were there, too.

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