Page 60 of Fighting for Scarlett

Her biggest fear was being alone for the rest of her life.

That was why she looked for love so hard, why she was willing to put her heart on the line, why she didn't hold back.

“Tate?” she asked, deciding to get it over and done with was better than dwelling on it every second.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

His voice rolled over her like a tidal wave of warmth and safety, and she loved the way he called her sweetheart. There were a few times he’d said it before he decided to trust her that made it sound like an insult, but now it was like a big dollop of sugary sweetness.

“Scarlett?”

“Oh, umm, yeah.” She could feel the blush staining her cheeks a bright red, and subconsciously brushed at them. “Yesterday you said that I matter, but you’ve never treated me like that after the night we spent together.”

Since they were still curled up in the king-size bed, Tate rolled her over so she was draped across his body, front to front. Even though the bed was large enough for them to have their own space, he’d held her all night, keeping her close, following her even in his sleep if she rolled away even just so much that their bodies were no longer touching.

Did that mean something?

Or was she clutching at straws?

Did she even want it to mean anything?

The way he’d treated her after their night together was hard to forget and … she kept expecting that guy to return. Was that something that would pass? Or would she always be waiting for Tate to panic and lash out?

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he ordered, a clear command in his tone even though his voice was gentle.

Lifting her eyes to meet his, she was surprised by the warmth she saw there.

This was the man she’d thought she could fall in love with.

Please let this Tate stay.

“You do matter, Scarlett, and I hate that nobody in your life has made you feel as though you do. I hate that I made you feel as though you don’t matter.”

There was sincerity and regret in his tone.

What world was she living in?

How could the man who had slipped out of her bed without a goodbye, then not just ghosted her but been downright cruel when they randomly met up, also be this man who was so sweet she just wanted to gobble him up like candy?

“I … I'm not … it’s just … what changed?” she asked helplessly. Tate had said he wanted to be more open like her, that he had been scared before but hadn't been able to stop thinking about her these last few months, but that’s not what she’d seen with her own two eyes. Already once in the last couple of days, she’d mistaken sex as meaning more than it had to him, and she was so afraid she was going to do it again.

Since she was draped over him, Scarlett felt the deep sigh that seemed to come right from Tate’s soul.

There was a huge part of her that wanted to soothe his pain, but the other part knew she couldn’t jump in with her eyes closed, her fingers crossed, and hope for the best. Not this time. Tate might have learned something, but she had too. She had learned that looking for love was fine, but being so trusting put both her heart and her life in danger.

What if she’d trusted a man who turned out to be physically violent?

Tate was dangerous to her heart, but he’d never hurt her like that, that she was confident about. He was a protector at heart, it was part of the reason she felt safe with him.

“You want me to be completely honest?” Tate asked, one hand stroking the length of her spine, she wasn’t sure if it was to soothe her, or himself, but it did help settle her nerves.

“Yes. Completely.” Propping her chin on Tate’s chest she waited expectantly.

“I always wanted to give what you made me feel a chance, but I was a coward. Letting you in would have been becoming everything I believed I didn't want to be. So, it was easier to shove you away, then make you out to be the bad guy. When I heard you were suspected of being a traitor my mind immediately went to my dad. After me pleading with him for two decades to get back out there and live after my mom died, he finally met a woman and married her. I pushed for him to give her a chance because I thought she’d be good for him. Turned out, she was dealing drugs, wanted my dad’s money, got him addicted then set him up to take the fall when the cops came after her. He’s currently serving a ten-year sentence for dealing and she’s free. The guilt I feel, knowing I pushed him into that, it’s been slowly crushing me. I used that to justify me pushing you away, to prove to myself that no good ever comes from loving someone.”

Another sigh rumbled through his big body, the hand that wasn’t sweeping up and down her back gripped her hip almost painfully tight, but Scarlett relished the tiny bite of pain because it meant he was holding on to her rather than pushing her away. He had been completely forthright with his answer, sharing about his past, and had apologized without making excuses.

It was getting easier to see herself giving him a chance.

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