Page 27 of Dead Rockstar

She raised an eyebrow. “Nice, actually. She's really pretty, but she looked kinda miserable. Tess was hanging all over her with his tongue hanging out. I think he was doing it to make you jealous, because he knew I'd tell you. I felt kind of sorry for her.” She looked at me. “But only so much. She knew what she was doing, you know?”

I bit my lip. On the one hand, it was heartening to hear that Tess was still asking about me, even if he'd had a girl on his arm while he did it. Did it mean he still cared? That he missed me, that he had regrets? Or was he just being a nosy douchebag? Probably the latter. Still, it was nice to hear, on some level, that maybe he cared. At least a little.

For a moment I allowed myself the fantasy of what it might be like to call him, his voice on the other line eager and friendly, the apology he'd give me, sincere and meaningful. He'd tell me about how he'd changed, how he missed me, how he'd forgotten how much we loved each other but he knew now, he knew, and he wanted to come home...

“Don't go there,” Phillip said in a low voice, still plucking away. He was playing the opening bars of “I Could Die with You,” one of my favorites from their first album.

“I beg your pardon?”

“You're thinking he must still care about you on some level if he bothered to ask about you,” he said, pulling the unlit cigarette from his mouth and rolling it around his fingers. “You're mulling over calling him. But I can tell you, Stormy. I've been that guy. It's about ownership, a piss-on-my-hydrant thing. Don't take it for love, because it ain't love.”

Sloan's eyebrows raised into her hairline.

“Okay, well thanks.” I was embarrassed, and suddenly very close to tears. I didn't need the two of them ganging up on me. Divorce was hard. What did they expect?

“Divorce is hard,” he said, repeating my thoughts. It was beginning to freak me out, the way he did that.

I decided to change the subject. “Anybody hungry?”

“Yes,” they both said in unison.

“I haven't been grocery shopping in a while. And if we're about to leave I don't see the point in doing it now. Pizza?”

“Let's get Mazzios,” Sloan agreed.

“I'll have to go pick it up,” I said. “They don't deliver out here anymore. I live too far out, I guess it costs them too much in gas.”

“I'll go with you, if you want to call in the order,” Sloan said. She looked at Phillip. “So what are we thinking, the usual? Just a large vegan meat lovers to share?” He stared at her, eyes wide, as though she'd just insulted his mother.

I laughed. “Right.” I knew he’d be asking me later what in the actual hell a “vegan meat lovers” consisted of, and I relished the thought of what his face would do when I began to explain fake pepperoni and sausage to Mr. Rare-Steak.

I picked up my cell and called in the order, our usual vegan pie and a large triple meat for Phillip. Sloan looked shocked. I'd never done such a thing for anyone before, not even Tess. But Phillip needed his strength, and besides, he hadn't given me any grief about my lifestyle, and Tess had constantly. It seemed a simple enough concept – you respect me, I'll respect you. Even if I hoped I never had to see another bloody steak for the rest of my life. Maybe eventually I'd turn Phillip Deville vegan. Ha!

In the truck, Sloan had a million questions, as I had known she would.

“So what's his real name?”

“Phillip,” I said, not wanting to get into a spiral of lies. They were too hard to keep up with.

“Come on, that can't really be his name.”

“It really is.”

“I guess that's not an uncommon name. But it seems a little too on the nose,” she said. “And you guys met at a show?”

“I never said that,” I replied. “You just assumed.”

“So where, then?”

“You won't believe me even if I tell you.” I had planned to lie, to let Sloan assume whatever she wanted, because it'd be easier, and safer, too. But I'd stopped myself. I was rattled. I needed Sloan as my sounding board, and anyway, we never lied to each other. She'd be able to read right through it, and besides, all that had happened made me feel crazy, and I wanted to tell someone. Even if she didn't believe me. “Anyway, I tried to once already, and you didn't believe me.”

“Try me now,” she said.

“OK, fine. The other night, when I told you I was going to do the spell, I did it. I got drunk and I read the spell and lit some sage and other shit, and well...something happened.”

“The power went out,” she said. “You told me.”

“Not just that. I recorded the whole thing, and it just magically disappeared off my phone, remember? The power went out, but other stuff has happened too.” I swallowed. “But the most important thing is that he showed up.”

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